Cannonball
I’m not sure what these two are diving for, but I hope it’s either diet pills or a towel.
Caption Machine
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138 Captions to 'Cannonball'
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June 2nd, 2002 at 3:43 am
Igor hesitated for a moment. Would he first jump and then eat the boy; or would he first eat the boy and then jump?
June 5th, 2002 at 4:35 pm
Just don’t belly-flop, kid, or you’ll swell up like I did!
June 1st, 2002 at 5:10 am
The German experiment to create identical twin superhumans went horribly wrong.
June 7th, 2002 at 3:49 pm
Tim calmly explains to Ogre the proper stance for a good cornholin’
June 4th, 2002 at 11:22 pm
The steroid problem in middle schools is way out of control!!!!
June 4th, 2002 at 4:10 pm
You can’t BOTH fit in the pool!
May 30th, 2002 at 11:29 pm
Back off, half-pint. That Baby-Ruth is MINE!
June 1st, 2002 at 6:23 pm
In a rare public appearance earlier today, Marlon Brando assisted mentally retarded youngsters with synchronized swimming lessons.
June 2nd, 2002 at 8:55 pm
If my titties hit me in the chin and knock me out when we hit the water, you’ll save me, won’t you?
June 4th, 2002 at 11:51 am
Testing Issac Newton’s law of gravity.
June 28th, 2002 at 4:39 pm
At the alice in wonderland reunion,tweedle-dee was hard pressed to find his long time compadre tweedle-dum.
January 16th, 2004 at 11:49 am
Tony Siragusa & Son.
June 4th, 2002 at 12:06 pm
Okay Billy Bob. Pull out the hose,this one is filled. NEXT!
May 31st, 2002 at 9:37 am
Ever wonder what happened to Mark Spitz?
Now you know…and probably wish you didn’t.
June 3rd, 2002 at 12:23 pm
Damn, my navel is stuck to my thigh again.
June 4th, 2002 at 4:00 pm
Their future in Olympic synchronized swimming has been jeopardized ever since they opened up the doughnut shop next to George’s house.
June 15th, 2002 at 12:51 pm
14 PEOPLE INJURED IN FREAK DIVEING INCIDENT TODAY.
May 31st, 2002 at 8:53 am
“Wait…I have to do my cannonball first. You remember what happened last time you went first don’t you? It took them 6 hours to refill the pool!”
June 3rd, 2002 at 8:45 am
Do these trunks make me look fat?…………… WHAT TRUNKS?????????
May 31st, 2002 at 6:03 pm
After the steroids scandal, former baseball star Ken Caminiti took up swimming.
May 31st, 2002 at 5:19 am
Come on uncle Marvin, don’t be afraid, it’s not deep, it’s only the children’s pool. Just do as I do. I’ll start with a simple summersault.
May 31st, 2002 at 3:22 pm
Boy: Dad, if I’ve told you once I’ve told you a thousand times : Don’t drink and dive!
June 1st, 2002 at 1:41 pm
No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.
June 2nd, 2002 at 8:32 pm
How Tommy captured the sideways speed swimming world record.
June 3rd, 2002 at 8:39 pm
Thongs for the mammaries!
June 4th, 2002 at 9:17 am
Just when you thought it was safe to back into the water.
June 4th, 2002 at 10:56 pm
“I’m bigger than you, stronger than you, and I will ALWAYS beat you” -Mommie Dearest
June 4th, 2002 at 11:39 am
“I’d like a small fry with a large potato, hold the salt.”
June 4th, 2002 at 11:49 am
It would jimmy’s first and last diving lesson. By the time he’d reach the bottom of the pool, there was no water left to cushion his fall.
June 4th, 2002 at 12:55 pm
Britney narrows her choices to decide who replaces Justin.
June 4th, 2002 at 3:12 pm
Gee, I hope he’s not planning to do a cannonball…
June 4th, 2002 at 3:15 pm
Well, the so-called “Subway Diet” didn’t work, maybe i should try some laps at the pool….
June 4th, 2002 at 4:00 pm
You go first kid. They have to refill the pool after I go.
June 4th, 2002 at 5:06 pm
Stand up toilets in a preliminary “one size fits all” test, circa 1950.
June 4th, 2002 at 5:16 pm
fat bastard waits patiently to fool the small child into jumping into the broth.
June 4th, 2002 at 5:36 pm
Good ol’ Catholic Bible Camp.
June 4th, 2002 at 5:46 pm
Remember, like, when we were in Grade 2, and, like that bee stung me, and I got, like, all swollen and shit, and, like, i almost died?
June 4th, 2002 at 5:48 pm
US Army Auditions for Fat Man and Little Boy, Jaunary 1944
Next! OK, Einstein, you’re up!
June 4th, 2002 at 6:38 pm
Mom,
Having a wonderful time in Wisconsin. Wish you were here.
- Tommy
June 4th, 2002 at 9:51 pm
Look out! He’s thirsty.
June 5th, 2002 at 1:19 am
Moments later, Twister got ugly.
June 5th, 2002 at 2:21 am
There were originally 15 competitors in the 100 metre freestyle, but 13 of them disappeared mysteriously over night, and it seemed the race had become one sided.
June 8th, 2002 at 10:37 pm
“So, you see kid I was right.It was’nt a Baby Ruth Candy bar floatin around in there after all! Sheez!
June 8th, 2002 at 10:43 pm
“I promise not to eat you little one as I swim to the other side with you on my head”
June 9th, 2002 at 12:37 am
by Calvin Klien
June 9th, 2002 at 8:45 am
I’M NOT FAT I’M JUST BIG BONED!!!!!!!!!!!
June 9th, 2002 at 6:47 pm
I am the Hulk’s brother, Bulk.
June 10th, 2002 at 5:26 am
Ialove Pork (right) was yesterday arrested on four counts of alleged cannabilism.
June 14th, 2002 at 6:57 am
Billy screamed and thrashed his arms wildly as he attempted to escape the gravitational pull of THE FLAB; a hideous beast which sucked children and small trailor parks into the cavities beneath its man breasts with its sheer mass
July 2nd, 2002 at 11:21 pm
After being banned from the WWF, Andre the Giant found solace in the German Federation of wrestling, where he was allowed to eat the competitors.
July 15th, 2002 at 9:07 am
I’m sure glad my speedo still fits, I’ll be turning all the ladies heads.
July 26th, 2002 at 4:24 pm
That day, Galileo took his experiment a little too far.
May 2nd, 2004 at 1:08 pm
Oooooooooohhh!!!! A NICKEL!!!! Back off boney butt that babie’s mine!!!
June 4th, 2002 at 10:07 am
Thats one small step for a little boy and one giant leap for someone who ate all of mankind.
June 9th, 2002 at 9:19 pm
So Johnny, do you like movies about gladiators?
June 4th, 2002 at 1:46 pm
Are you sure gravity will just take me down?
June 4th, 2002 at 10:02 am
Humptey Dumpty swims for a medal at the Junior Olympics
May 31st, 2002 at 12:02 am
So, my boy. What is it like to go swimming with your priest?
May 31st, 2002 at 7:42 am
At the local backwoods fair, Johnny Bob Joe Smith, the undisputed donut diver 12 years running, shows his nephew, Johnny Joe Bob Smith, the correct stance to take before diving into the jelly filled donut pool.
May 31st, 2002 at 11:37 am
After the resultant title wave swept little Jimmy out of the pool, luckily, he was able to ride Uncle Louie’s hairpiece to safety.
May 31st, 2002 at 8:17 pm
A publicity still from Free Willy III…“A young boy helps an obese man learn to bathe in this feel good film of the year!”
June 1st, 2002 at 5:08 am
Frankenstein’s monster soon adapted to normal life and made career as a swimming teacher.
June 1st, 2002 at 2:09 pm
Father Pagano yells; “Last Choirboy in the tub of wesson oil is a rotten egg.”
June 1st, 2002 at 8:06 pm
“Er… son? I can’t straighten up…”
June 3rd, 2002 at 6:45 am
Little jimmy didn’t realize the futility
of racing the human blob to the hot dog that they had dropped to the bottom of the pool, weather or not jimmy beat the blob to the bottom the blob would still eat.
June 4th, 2002 at 1:14 pm
“Golly Mr. Presley, we’ve gotta catch those mean drug lords before they swim away!”
June 4th, 2002 at 5:12 am
Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon passes submersion test for leaks.
June 4th, 2002 at 6:16 am
The day splashing became fine art
June 4th, 2002 at 9:33 am
Get in my belly!
June 4th, 2002 at 9:59 am
ki: “hold your own match. i’m outta here!”
June 4th, 2002 at 10:08 am
You may be lucky, wee man , but THIS cannonball contest is MINE!!
June 4th, 2002 at 10:30 am
Day three of the Olympic Cannonball finals.
June 4th, 2002 at 11:06 am
Hello, Marvel Comics? Here’s your next big superhero franchise! CAPTAIN BEACHBALLô, the human inflatable sphere-like object, dives into his next disturbing adventure with his trusty (but temporary) sidekick, EXPENDABLE LADô!
June 4th, 2002 at 11:34 am
This will be REALLY fun when they fill the pool up this summer!
June 4th, 2002 at 12:17 pm
Little Billy would have won the race, except for the monstrous fart Thag released, therefore propelling him at mach 5 across the pool in record time.
June 4th, 2002 at 3:17 pm
Is that a baby? Can I have my baby back, baby back, baby back ribs?
June 4th, 2002 at 3:28 pm
Hello, My name is Lumpy Anhow…and I’m a flop-a-holic
June 4th, 2002 at 3:30 pm
But Vincent, you are my brother!!!
June 4th, 2002 at 5:03 pm
Shrek…The Early Years.
June 4th, 2002 at 5:04 pm
Little one better dive quick or he’ll be eating concrete!
June 4th, 2002 at 5:10 pm
“hey little man … before you jump in I have an itch on my back … could you scratch it for me?”
June 4th, 2002 at 6:21 pm
Quick Junior, grab your mom’s harness before she goes under.
June 4th, 2002 at 9:12 pm
Unfortunately, mommy wasn’t able to catch both of them.
June 4th, 2002 at 9:17 pm
Don’t be afraid swimming is just like Sumo wrestling..
June 4th, 2002 at 9:50 pm
“Step back!” cried little Timmy, “That Great White sure looks hungry!”
June 4th, 2002 at 10:14 pm
Hey kid, why are those environmentalists banging on pipes out there?
June 4th, 2002 at 11:23 pm
Hey, isn’t that my old boss?
June 5th, 2002 at 3:09 am
The only two looks Michael Jackson’s plastic surgeon hasn’t tried yet.
June 5th, 2002 at 3:11 am
Pam Anderson and Britney Spears before the big music execs tinkered with their images to increase profits.
June 5th, 2002 at 2:19 pm
Look! They’re having a liposuction! Geez, doesn’t that look jolly?
June 5th, 2002 at 2:35 pm
Ask the chef to garnish the whale with sardines, please.
June 5th, 2002 at 3:09 pm
Hey you there in the pool, do you think this bathing suit makes me look fat?
June 19th, 2002 at 12:15 pm
Han Solo bets Jabba the Hutt that he can make a bigger splash and, of course, loses. He runs instead of paying up and had assorted bounty hunters chasing him for 3 movies…
June 9th, 2002 at 6:54 am
Its a no win situation for Tommy, if he dives last, no water left in pool, if he dives first he will be swept across the Pacific
June 9th, 2002 at 7:32 am
3 words: sumo synchronized swimming
June 9th, 2002 at 8:45 am
The reason the West Virginia Dad goes to gym class with his son is they are both in third grade.
June 9th, 2002 at 5:52 pm
Little Johnny knew he could win tha swim race against Uncle Jason. However, when the gun went off and Johnny jumped into the air, Jason promptly barfed in the pool.
June 9th, 2002 at 6:05 pm
INSIDE THIS FAT BODY IS A THIN MAN CRYING TO GET OUT. I ATE HIM!
June 9th, 2002 at 6:07 pm
INSIDE MY FAT BODY IS A THIN MAN CRYING TO GET OUT. I ATE HIM!
June 11th, 2002 at 1:20 am
Daddy I have to jump in first this time, cause you did last time and splashed all the water out.
June 13th, 2002 at 10:50 am
GET IN MY BELLY!!
June 14th, 2002 at 5:01 pm
Little johnny realized taht he had to swin for it, he could hear the screams of his 22 year old sister comming for the bowls of the giant monster
June 18th, 2002 at 5:45 pm
~”JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!”
~”Come on, I want to see you soak the city again!”
what the neighabor kids chanted on the hot july day.
June 18th, 2002 at 8:33 pm
The new legislation for fat people.
Swim at the beach only.
June 22nd, 2002 at 11:55 pm
“Kid, my turds are bigger than you.”
June 23rd, 2002 at 2:59 pm
Twins II
July 15th, 2002 at 9:06 am
The high school diving coach just can’t make those small splashes anymore. He thinks it’s the lost flexibility.
July 15th, 2002 at 9:07 am
I got stung by a bee, honest
June 9th, 2003 at 12:31 pm
I hope the big big guy don’t jumps first, when he does the little guy will break his neck.
September 19th, 2003 at 5:10 pm
Bruno suspected that the police line-up had been rigged against him.
October 30th, 2004 at 9:41 am
reprocutions of the atkins diet
April 23rd, 2004 at 8:59 pm
Excuse me, sir…there’s something wedged in the back of your trunks…by the way, have you seen my son - he was here a minute ago…
May 21st, 2004 at 6:24 pm
So now we know what Quasimodo is doing with his leisure time since he retired - wait a minute…I’m confusing the Hunchback of Notre Dame with the Humpback whale - oh well.
November 6th, 2004 at 5:19 am
You better go first kid or your landing might be hard.
December 23rd, 2004 at 2:00 pm
Hello, a really interesting experience to visit your website. For sure i will come back soon. greets to all !
August 14th, 2005 at 4:03 pm
I am Tim White…The Human Blob…I am fat as all hell
May 31st, 2002 at 8:24 pm
Igor had second thoughts about signing up for the YMCA junior swimming class.
May 31st, 2002 at 3:13 am
“Swimming in milk builds strong teeth and bones, my boy.”
May 31st, 2002 at 12:22 am
An unfair farting contest
May 31st, 2002 at 1:00 am
Before George “The Animal” Steele started wrestling, he used to race local kids for their milk money.
May 31st, 2002 at 10:41 am
Son: Dad when I grow up I’ll I retain as much fluids as you?
Dad: I sure hope not, I just retained the whole damn pool.
May 31st, 2002 at 1:19 pm
Frankensteins creature soon adapted to normal life and began a carreer as swimming teacher.
May 31st, 2002 at 9:08 pm
OK kid… first one to the bottom wins!
June 1st, 2002 at 4:28 pm
the incredible hulk always got angry before childhood swim meets. it helped, somehow.
June 3rd, 2002 at 6:46 am
Little jimmy didn’t realize the futility
of racing the human blob to the hot dog that they had dropped to the bottom of the pool, weather or not jimmy beat the blob to the bottom the blob would still eat.
June 3rd, 2002 at 8:40 pm
Thongs for the mammaries!
June 4th, 2002 at 3:26 pm
Hello, My name is Lumpy Anhow and I’m a flop-a-holic.
June 4th, 2002 at 7:00 pm
So distracted by the man’s fat, the boy didn’t realize he was about to dive into an empty pool
June 16th, 2002 at 4:21 pm
A test conducted to decide if stomach cramps still come if you before AND as you dive. (The little boy is low calorie)
May 30th, 2002 at 11:32 pm
Dad, can you flatten that guy?
May 31st, 2002 at 2:08 am
OK, you’re on.
Let’s see who makes the biggest splash.
May 31st, 2002 at 3:29 am
Kid: Oh come on, uncle Louie, stagediving is so much fun!
Man: But that guy over there is wearing a German helmet!
May 31st, 2002 at 5:07 am
get out of the way! he’s gonna fall! save yourselves!
May 31st, 2002 at 5:09 am
“it’s ok! he’s not naked! his gut is covering the thong!”
June 4th, 2002 at 3:13 pm
A at merr mendja sa kg i ka
June 4th, 2002 at 3:11 pm
A ta merr mendja sa kg. i ka
May 31st, 2002 at 12:48 am
No one could understand what was happening to Tommy’s twin brother until they realized that he had stuck the water hose that was filling up the pool up his ass!
May 31st, 2002 at 2:36 pm
Dad, do you think they’ll be mad at us for shitting in the sauna?