Swollen Lip
My grandma’ says if you stick you lip out a bird will poop on it.
Caption Machine
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59 Captions to 'Swollen Lip'
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July 21st, 2002 at 7:36 am
“…and then I said,…If you guys don’t play fair, I’m goin’ to take my ball & go home!”
October 19th, 2002 at 2:01 am
As Fred gazed 20 minutes into the future, he saw himself naked, in a dark room with the ominous glow of a single red candle, polishing a turd.
July 22nd, 2002 at 7:06 am
Jimmy dind’t know a thing about the fraude scandal. He just sat there because he lost drawing straws.
August 9th, 2002 at 1:40 am
I don’t care what you guys say, I am good looking.
July 21st, 2002 at 10:43 am
Hmmmm, come to think of it, I DO have the world’s smallest penis.
July 22nd, 2002 at 10:26 pm
Hold the lighter closer this time Tommy, this one’s gonna be a ripper…
July 20th, 2002 at 5:43 pm
I realllly gotta go, but there’s a bear in the men’s room!
July 21st, 2002 at 6:09 am
Sperm donor, asked why he described himself in the Donor Book as “a young Master of Science, a tennis champion and Brad Pitt look-alike”.
July 24th, 2002 at 5:46 pm
…and for my next impersonation: James B. Sikking!
July 20th, 2002 at 6:40 pm
Ew. Whoever used the microphone before me needs breath mints.
July 20th, 2002 at 9:18 pm
I shoulda used Preparation H!
July 21st, 2002 at 11:20 pm
He’s got the look!!!
July 22nd, 2002 at 6:22 am
Is it a rug? I don’t know. You decide.
August 2nd, 2002 at 2:22 pm
its not that I am trying to evade the question mr. senator…..I’m just trying to smell the lump in my pants and see if it was last nights dinner or this mornings breakfast…
July 20th, 2002 at 9:50 am
What is my favorite ice-cream flavor? Mmmmmmmm, let me think…
July 21st, 2002 at 8:52 am
He is the main reason you shouldn’t date over the internet!
July 22nd, 2002 at 4:29 am
say … this new vibrating alert feels gooooooood.
July 22nd, 2002 at 6:57 pm
In the middle of the press conference Bob flashes back to his encounter this morning with Carla, the maid in the hotel room. Man, she could suck a golf ball thru a garden hose!
July 23rd, 2002 at 6:36 pm
Whoops!
July 23rd, 2002 at 6:41 pm
I’m a moron. Let me just put up an old quote or steal someone’s quote. Maybe they HE won’t
notice.
July 24th, 2002 at 8:14 pm
As the press confrence began, Sam was about to start talking, then he saw the guys who were trying to get him back into the insane asylum…
July 24th, 2002 at 1:10 pm
AFTER YEARS OF ISOLATION, PEE WEE TELLS HIS SAD SAD STORY
July 25th, 2002 at 3:31 am
The next Zoolander.
July 25th, 2002 at 8:46 am
When she asked me if her pussy was to big, I put on my best poker face and said, “Hmm, no, of course not”.
July 27th, 2002 at 11:48 am
8(
July 31st, 2002 at 3:23 pm
Must….Reach…Nose….
August 5th, 2002 at 9:21 am
Vladimir Putin recalls his night on the tiles with Hilary Clinton.
August 5th, 2002 at 5:06 pm
“Don’t look under the table. She’s not finished yet”
October 8th, 2002 at 6:32 pm
In an effort to appeal to the African Crowd at the Olympics, this broadcaster puffed his lips out to impersonate Patrick Ewing’s monstrous lips.
October 8th, 2002 at 7:42 pm
Holding in a fart makes me do weird facial expressions.
July 20th, 2002 at 7:58 am
Oh damn! Here comes that bear that was in the men’s room.
July 20th, 2002 at 10:02 pm
When it was Franks turn to speak, he was disappointed to find out there was no one hiding under the podium.
July 21st, 2002 at 3:36 am
Stop calling me a sissy or I’ll tell my mommy on you!!
July 21st, 2002 at 11:22 am
Alfred came little short to win the Prins Charles look-alike contest.
July 21st, 2002 at 11:25 am
“At least I have a nice hairdo.”
July 22nd, 2002 at 4:31 pm
hmmmm…after smending that night in jail…….the taste is still there…..
July 22nd, 2002 at 3:07 pm
I’m a moron. Let me just put up an old quote or steal someone’s quote. Maybe they won’t notice.
July 24th, 2002 at 3:44 am
hmmmm juicy wonder if anyone smells it yet
July 27th, 2002 at 9:54 pm
That’s when it dawned on Walter: he hadn’t a clue on why he was up at the podium.
August 1st, 2002 at 1:36 am
Hmm, I think im gonna put a balaclava over my head, get naked, roll around in mud, and do the hokey pokey in the middle of the freeway today
August 1st, 2002 at 1:38 am
How did I win my gold medal???
Well it was the final…the greatest challenge ever in my life, we were equal until the end when I stared him down.
August 2nd, 2002 at 8:55 pm
Kevin Spacey is reduced to this after “Pay it Forward”, sad isn’t it?
August 4th, 2002 at 2:11 pm
mmm………polyester isth crunchy
August 10th, 2002 at 10:27 am
somebody open the windows - FIRE IN THE HOLE!
September 30th, 2002 at 8:45 pm
he was having trouble remembering what he had for breakfast then he remembered it was a cheerleader
January 25th, 2003 at 1:32 pm
This is the best nudist convention EVER!
March 7th, 2003 at 2:43 am
Is this another guy from ENRON?
March 18th, 2003 at 5:04 pm
“I don’t know Johnny, he’s had this expression for the last hour.”
June 9th, 2003 at 1:11 pm
Will you stop asking me questions?
PLLLLEAAAZZZEEE?????
September 21st, 2003 at 7:47 pm
hmmmm i have nothing intresting to say so hmmmm
January 8th, 2004 at 11:26 am
THAT’S a dificult question guys! (I can’t say you anything…my wife is watching….)
October 27th, 2004 at 1:58 pm
There’s a rocket in my pocket
July 21st, 2002 at 8:18 pm
Sniffs hmm, I think those stadium hot dogs did something to my digestive track…
July 21st, 2002 at 11:17 pm
I’m a real man! I’m not gonna cry!…. sniff
July 22nd, 2002 at 1:58 am
Mmmmm….minty fresh….
July 20th, 2002 at 6:03 am
They just don’t listen anymore!!
July 20th, 2002 at 6:35 am
Wally sees a beautiful woman on the tribune and tries his most tempting face
July 20th, 2002 at 11:57 am
(Labyrinth movie reference)
Won’t Work- Can’t hear you.
July 20th, 2002 at 8:52 am
You know what? I think i’ll get laid tommorow again! I rock..