Segway Sales
Maybe the look on this guys face can explain why so many industry visionaries think the Segway will revolutionize human transportation.
Maybe the look on this guys face can explain why so many industry visionaries think the Segway will revolutionize human transportation.
November 18th, 2002 at 9:49 am | Promoted
Weee, this segway makes me have to peee.
November 18th, 2002 at 11:37 am | Promoted
Does this helmet make me look retarded or is it the whole thing?
November 18th, 2002 at 1:10 pm | Promoted
Ha ha, very funny. Who’s the smartass with the paintball gun?
November 18th, 2002 at 1:26 pm | Promoted
E-bay 2002: $4,000.00
E-bay 2003: $40.00
Remember the razor scooter? Yeah, me neither.
November 18th, 2002 at 2:15 pm | Promoted
Little made Hughbert happier than out running old folks in the underground seniors racing circuit; “Ha, in your face Gramps! Now sign over that fat social security check, hand me the pink slip to your rascal and toss me that fruit cup, victory is mine!”
November 18th, 2002 at 2:17 pm | Promoted
Jeb let out a smile and a relaxed sigh, as now he finally had an excuse for wearing a helmet.
November 18th, 2002 at 3:53 pm | Promoted
Coming soon the optional briefcase rack for those who do not have perfect balance.
November 18th, 2002 at 3:55 pm | Promoted
Segue on your way to work on your Segway.
(Are we so stupid that they had to spell it phonetically?????)
November 18th, 2002 at 4:46 pm | Promoted
DORKS-R-US
November 18th, 2002 at 6:43 pm | Promoted
having another rod between his legs helped him to feel better about himself until hit a speed bump and the mahince fell and crushed him.
November 18th, 2002 at 7:39 pm | Promoted
“I have got to simplify my masturbation rituals.”
November 18th, 2002 at 10:17 pm | Promoted
Newest member, the Witless Protection Program
November 18th, 2002 at 10:20 pm | Promoted
You had to do it, didn’t you? You could’ve maintained the tiniest smidgen of dignity. But NOOOOOO, you had to start going, “BRRMMM! BRRMMM!” Didn’t you!?
November 18th, 2002 at 11:07 pm | Promoted
Timmy!
November 19th, 2002 at 2:59 am | Promoted
Now the future is here – redneck hicks get off the Datsun truck habit!
November 19th, 2002 at 7:12 am
E.S.V. (Energy-Saving-Vehicle).
It works on smiles. The harder you smile the faster it goes.
This man will arrive at his work in exactly 15 hours.
November 19th, 2002 at 7:37 am | Promoted
The reason why we have ended up with inline scooter wheels is… The first time you crash this one into a rock, your face first plunge will result in retardedness… NOTE: This man has a head start!
November 19th, 2002 at 7:40 am | Promoted
Stupid invention leaves man retarded after losing balance.
November 19th, 2002 at 7:45 am | Promoted
New Product: The Chinese Face Whacking Scooter… One slip-up & you’re Chinese!
November 19th, 2002 at 7:49 am | Promoted
It’s the first riding vaccuum cleaner!
November 19th, 2002 at 8:04 am | Promoted
Inventor today In-Pain tomorrow
November 19th, 2002 at 8:08 am | Promoted
WHERE ARE THE BREAKS?
November 19th, 2002 at 8:41 am | Promoted
This thing is great. I got hot old chicks with blue hair, alzheimers and wrinkles crawling all over me.
November 19th, 2002 at 8:43 am | Promoted
A sucker riding the latest gizmo from the sharper image
November 19th, 2002 at 9:20 am | Promoted
Lazy Goofy Bastard Riding A Dorkcycle
November 19th, 2002 at 12:57 pm
This was all that remained of Blake’s SUV after it was run over by a gigantic mining truck.
November 19th, 2002 at 1:01 pm
With the weight of the briefcase on one side, Mr. Poindexter found his new high-tech toy kept going in circles.
November 19th, 2002 at 1:05 pm | Promoted
The extreme speed and g-forces of the Segway distorted Emily’s breast implants and gave her an Adam’s apple.
November 19th, 2002 at 3:43 pm | Promoted
I still can’t figure out where to put The Club on this thing!
November 19th, 2002 at 5:41 pm | Promoted
Bling! Bling!
November 20th, 2002 at 9:55 am | Promoted
The best feature? When a hot girl walks bye, it turns into a Porsche.
November 20th, 2002 at 9:56 am | Promoted
Introducing the Dork B Gone
November 20th, 2002 at 11:18 am | Promoted
No one had the heart to tell the man that his battery had run out, and he had been standing still for about an hour now
November 20th, 2002 at 2:58 pm | Promoted
“You’re right, the only way to enjoy this is to be stoned!”
November 21st, 2002 at 10:08 am | Promoted
izzat a pocket full of marbles or are
you just a dork?
November 21st, 2002 at 12:11 pm | Promoted
General Motors is please to announce we’ve taken the “short bus” concept to the next level!
November 21st, 2002 at 3:58 pm | Promoted
They didn’t tell me the strap was
as tight as my underwer.
November 22nd, 2002 at 3:53 pm | Promoted
It was no accident that Rumsfeld gave the nuclear briefcase to Ralphie to balance on his new scooter. After all, it only contained the big red button to nuke France. Be careful, little Ralphie!
November 22nd, 2002 at 7:00 pm
After she hitched a ride in the back, Jim’s face was never the same again.
November 23rd, 2002 at 2:56 pm | Promoted
This fag couldn’t settle for just walking out of the closet!
November 23rd, 2002 at 3:32 pm | Promoted
“I am cornholio. I need TP for my bunghole!”
November 23rd, 2002 at 6:31 pm
Not wanting to look too gay Bob opted for the metallic gray model instead of the pink.
November 24th, 2002 at 9:14 pm | Promoted
Look everyone, I’m going to Disneyland!!!!!!
November 24th, 2002 at 11:08 pm | Promoted
One of the outtakes on the current CBS sitcom “Yes, Dear”. Needless to say this won’t be on any of Dick Clark’s “Blooper” specials, but unlike all the others this is a GOOD thing.
November 25th, 2002 at 3:04 pm | Promoted
Designed for the lazy Nerd in your family.
November 26th, 2002 at 8:04 am | Promoted
Segway, aka The Ego-mobile
November 26th, 2002 at 9:33 am
Ride, Forest, ride!
November 27th, 2002 at 3:34 pm | Promoted
Ask me about the milage. Burns 2 gallons every 4 miles. Hey at this rate hell with the polar ice caps.
November 27th, 2002 at 8:48 pm | Promoted
“All right! Maybe now they’ll finally let me join the Hell’s Angels!!”
December 2nd, 2002 at 9:18 pm | Promoted
David Lee Roth showing off his ride on the new episode of CRIBS.
December 3rd, 2002 at 9:51 am | Promoted
At this point, John didn’t realize he was about to fall on his nose.
December 3rd, 2002 at 11:39 pm | Promoted
what is IT?
December 4th, 2002 at 8:57 am
The acronym is finally complete.
Segway Human Idiot Transporter
December 4th, 2002 at 2:47 pm | Promoted
Bling! Bling!
December 5th, 2002 at 6:06 pm | Promoted
Dork Pop Quiz: Who is dorkiest:
a) the dork who invented this dorkcycle;
b) the dork on the dorkcycle;
c) the dorks in the background anxiously waiting to ride the dorkcycle;
d) none of the above—they’re all equally dorky.
December 6th, 2002 at 8:52 am | Promoted
Scooters! Get your scooter here! Just $5,000! Get your $5,000, really stable, kinda slow scooter here, folks! You, sir! Would YOU like to buy a $5,000 scooter today? Anyone? Anyone?
December 6th, 2002 at 4:56 pm | Promoted
Have you seen my baseball?!
December 9th, 2002 at 2:34 am | Promoted
“Chicks like cars. How ‘bout this?”
-Two minutes later
Young Jack had not only found out that it was a chick magnet, it was also good to get away from them.
(Think about it, 20 km/h!)
December 9th, 2002 at 8:18 am | Promoted
Weeeeeee! Lookit ME, Mommy! I’m a gweeeeeat big wace car dwiver!!!
December 9th, 2002 at 5:52 pm | Promoted
Dude, where’s my car?
December 9th, 2002 at 6:37 pm
Just wait ‘till the chicks see me on this, they’l, they’ll, well, they’ll probably still think I’m a dork.
December 9th, 2002 at 11:25 pm
Let’s see… slower than a bicycle, only holds one, no protection from rain… or muggers for that matter, range of only eight miles, can’t carry more than a few pounds of gear… wow! It’s like walking, only without the cardio benefits. Why aren’t people lining up?
December 10th, 2002 at 7:39 am | Promoted
I’m using my segway to escape 427 bad bling mascot bookarama cheaters!
What a bunch of dorks!
December 10th, 2002 at 11:13 am | Promoted
laughingatyou while I’m writing this, “Mommy, Mommy, they’re cheating, I’m taking my ball & going home!!!!
December 10th, 2002 at 12:57 pm | Promoted
Oh look… I made you react, dork! I win.
December 10th, 2002 at 2:19 pm | Promoted
“Grandma will be so delighted!”
December 15th, 2002 at 12:26 pm | Promoted
Hey, this guy sure dont update often! HAHAHA!
December 18th, 2002 at 1:17 am
The big day has finally arrived for little Timmy Dork. He beams with joy as he sees his “biker bitch” and he’s all set for Sturgis, South Dakota
December 21st, 2002 at 8:12 pm
Who knew this is what they meant when they said “Be an Army of one”?
December 27th, 2002 at 9:54 am
hey sup girl you got to go to this web sit is is tight i will brling some leighics on thursday
December 27th, 2002 at 9:55 am
omg this is funny look at the pic read some info
January 10th, 2003 at 8:46 pm | Promoted
poove…
January 12th, 2003 at 5:26 pm | Promoted
QUEER!!!!!!
January 25th, 2003 at 7:26 pm
I am no longer a slave to my bike.
January 28th, 2003 at 6:49 pm | Promoted
the little fag thought it was cool to see if he could run over old people on his two wheeler
January 30th, 2003 at 5:39 pm
Have you seen my baseball?
January 31st, 2003 at 1:52 am | Promoted
I feel pretty
Oh so pretty
I feel pretty and witty and gay!
January 31st, 2003 at 4:47 am
Microsoft, still seething from the anti-trust suits, releases Walking 2.0. The only way to make it go is to swear and repeatedly hit cntl-alt-del.
February 8th, 2003 at 8:05 am
anyone call a taxi
February 8th, 2003 at 8:06 am
i am only smiling as the top half is a vibrator
February 8th, 2003 at 8:08 am
large insurance company replace mans lada
February 12th, 2003 at 8:51 pm | Promoted
Wayne smiles maniacally, as he realizes that both feet have been cut off in the push mower he has just jumped on.
February 23rd, 2003 at 4:04 am | Promoted
...as the poor asshole tries to compensate for being dickless, the funny thing is the girls naturally dodge him, and the gay guys dodge such a smillllllllllllllllllllley face as well!
March 5th, 2003 at 7:46 pm | Promoted
DUDE WHERES MY THING WITH TWO WHEELS THAT LOOKS STANRGE
March 5th, 2003 at 7:46 pm
WHY DO YOU NEED A HALMET ON A PICE OF CRAP LIKE THAT?
March 7th, 2003 at 3:05 am
I spent how much on something I’m not aloud to use anywhere??
March 11th, 2003 at 12:47 am
“deurrr.. I’m a smart boy now. Deeurr”
March 11th, 2003 at 6:05 pm
today we proudly present our latest model: “blowjobbike”
March 18th, 2003 at 2:15 pm
I wonder if THIS will get me chicks.
April 2nd, 2003 at 1:29 pm | Promoted
That is really a horrible pogo stick.
May 15th, 2003 at 9:12 am
“OK, you’re right, here is your money, I DID have so much fun I crapped my pants…”
May 21st, 2003 at 7:50 pm
pompis jerk who thinks that he doesn’t have to walk anymore
August 10th, 2003 at 2:55 pm | Promoted
(man) “Ha, look how cleaver and witty I am! Go ahead and walk, simpletons! With my Segway I can-”
(bystander) “Hey mister! You’re dorymobile is stuck in a piece of gun.”
August 10th, 2003 at 2:58 pm | Promoted
And the best part is, he’ll be early for work. Tomorrow.
September 3rd, 2004 at 10:47 am
Bob’s last words before his tragic fall into an open manhole were, “Damn, girl, that ass is SMOKIN!”
September 3rd, 2004 at 6:38 pm | Promoted
Early photo of John Kerry in Da Nang at the American airbase. Apparently he was stoned and attempting to ride an F-4’s broken nosewheel…..
October 22nd, 2004 at 7:23 am
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