Shark Attack

148

Proof that the summer of the shark part two is upon us.

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172 Captions for “Shark Attack”

  1. Larry

    Damn it! I told you to by the 4×4 with swampers on it….

  2. Fartman

    Sometimes when you gotta fart, you just can’t.

  3. Fartman

    Why is no-one helping the drowning shark?

  4. bANAAL

    the goldfish Fred flushed when he was nine has finally his revenge

  5. Poopybutt

    Lawsuit coming, I can see it from here.

  6. it had to be said

    Dude, where’s my shark?!

  7. jerkin like a big dog

    Every time you masturbate, God uses a shark to kill a dork who ignores low water crossings.
    Keep masturbating.

  8. lawrence

    The one that got away decides he wants to come back.

  9. GC

    Lawyers even chase accidents that occur in water.

  10. jaws IV

    as you can see, the ex-family goldfish circles ad prepares to attack his unsespecting prey…

  11. Snarfangel

    While car-pooling on his way to work, Sharkman stopped by for a bite to eat.

  12. Gentaur

    “I saw it all, officer! The shark was just crossing the street when the black car came out of nowhere!”

  13. Gentaur

    “All I wanted was some directions, buddy! What, you have something against sharks?”

  14. Gentaur

    (sniff, sniff) “Nope, not that one. I can’t stand Old Spice-y food.”

  15. Mable

    WOW, look at that, Jean. I’ve never seen anything so hideously grotesque…

    …a blue house!

  16. squint

    We’re gonna need a bigger butt.

  17. jockblock

    dunt dunt Dunt Dunt DUNT DUNT DU…John will ya knock it off that stupid shark costume is getting really old!

  18. ACS

    The “Do not enter when flooded” sign always guides the shark to a yummy meal–stupid humans who don’t read signs!

  19. just asking

    Has the Caption Machine finally jumped the shark?

  20. jwd

    Nigel drives right into the high water, and puts the “chum” in “chump”.

  21. jwd

    “I told you not to drive into the high water!”
    “Bite me!!”

  22. Mocke

    where’s the damn shark crossing sign?

  23. bill !

    obviously, these guys didn’t see the ‘High Water And Severe Tire Damage’ sign

  24. bill !

    ‘sheez… could this day get any worse?!?’

  25. KD

    Ironically, it ate Steven Speilberg.

  26. KD

    The tailor to the new film, “Jurrasic Shark.”

  27. KD

    Footage of the worst driving test ever.

  28. KD

    Now, you see how I put the car in park?

  29. Hi

    Goldfish! Fosters, Australian for BEER!

  30. Weird Al

    Fred opens the car door for his blind date, Sharkie, and his pround mother, Elizabeth.

  31. Weird Al

    It followed me home from swimming practice!

  32. Weird Al

    Join the ARMY, get a free shark.

  33. Someone

    Jaws finally resorted to doing cheap car flooding commercials.

  34. aaaaaaa!!!!!

    Endanger MY species, will ya?

  35. Earth

    Did we really HAVE to destroy the Amazon rainforest and melt the polar ice caps?

  36. Professor Kaos

    don’t be scared honey, it’s only water, there is absolutlely nothing to worry about.

  37. Rob

    This is what can happen when you flush your pet shark down the toilet.

  38. Rob

    first we annoyed the middle east, now we’ve pissed off Atlantis

  39. Gentaur

    “Great. Now we’re going to have to give Jabberjaw a bath.”

  40. Gentaur

    “You’re not fooling anyone, you know. Sharks don’t drown.”

  41. Gentaur

    “I told you not to feed him that seal. Now we’ll never get rid of him.”

  42. nimrod

    “What’s that smell darling? have you been eating rotten dead fish again?”

  43. bill !

    I Say! Bloody, Bad Luck Ol’ Chum!

  44. Gentaur

    “Excuse me, have you seen a tiny fish named Nemo around here?”

  45. Brian

    In an attempt to justify increases in insurance premiums, Insurance Companies are siting many other dangers that could face drivers in the country

  46. rk

    Man rescues drowning Great White Shark and drives it to safety in his Honda Civic

  47. Lisa S.

    Just when you thought it was safe to get back in your car….

  48. Carey

    Hey Bob, I smell tuna. Is that mother behind me?

  49. Warren Walker

    Yes, I have life insurance. Why do you ask?

  50. Charles Dalton

    “John are you sure the sign said for sea food turn right?

  51. tjinpa

    Breaking news just in…….in an amazing turn of events—

  52. flooversmom

    Say “AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”

  53. G.W.Bush

    I order to prevent shark attacks on the homeland, I propose increased immitions from factories, and continue overfishing to undermine sharks natural food sources. God bless America and damn those terrorist sharks to hell.

  54. t

    “That’s impossible!. . . A Four leaf clover!

  55. Scott†S.

    When Universal Studios decided to combine Jaws with white trash trailer park flooding, park attendance by southern hillbillys rose 63%.

  56. nurg

    This message has been brought to you by PhotoManip Anonymous. This is just one example of how desperately these people need a job and a productive hobby. Please give generously to PhotoManip Anonymous, won’t you?

  57. Nellie

    Whaaaaaaaaaat did your mother tell you about lying?

  58. Deranger

    Residents of Levittown PA have filed a suit
    claiming the city did not sufficiently warn the public of all the potential dangers in recent street flooding.

  59. bill !

    …like new, runs great, needs new rearend…

  60. bill !

    Phil never learned the first thing about fixing a car. And now, as he looked at Jennifer standing there cold, wet, shivering, suddenly Phil felt like half a man.

  61. snakepit

    That restraining order doesn’t seem to have any effect…

  62. Hollywood

    Depressed after starring in several movies and failing to get work for many years, Jaws responds to ad in paper by local police requesting jaws of life needed for automobile extrications.

  63. kym

    i know he’s gunna taste like chicken

  64. Chaos

    After a trip to Sea-World, Johnny ignores his fathers warnings not to sneak ‘Jaws’ home in the back of the car!

  65. Chaos

    For crying out …. I said my car needs new DOORS !!

  66. Chaos

    Although jaws always preferred fresh humans, sometimes he could only get them in a can !

  67. Gentaur

    “Oooh, look, honey! He thinks the car is another shark!” “No, he sees your mother inside and thinks SHE is. -I- would.”

  68. Gentaur

    I thought “loan shark” was just an expression! I missed only one payment, too…

  69. Jimmeny

    Swimming between a peuguot and a fiesta, can I get any less stylish?

  70. Hava-A-Say

    Look what you’ve done now! I told you to turn the lights off .. now he’s been attracted to the lights.

  71. Hava-A-Say

    As the big bad shark said: “What a big butt you have”

  72. G.W. Bush

    To increase shark attacks in the future, we should increase global warming and kill off shark food sources. That will teach them. God Bless America.

  73. Les

    Al Bundy and Jefferson D’Arcy about to meet their maker!

  74. Justin...

    Well if that just doesnt suck all ass…

  75. bill !

    Must be one of those new Kia Sea Lions

  76. John

    Yeah, the shark cut me off and forced me into the creek, so I yelled “Bite my a**!”

  77. hunter

    They had all rolled their eyes and had a good laugh when Tom built his Sharkmobile…

  78. ÓÂËÈ ‰„ÈÈ‚

    äöéìå ëøéù!

  79. the mazer

    Excuse me do you have any jumper cables?

  80. Jen

    this cant be real…. it looks sooo fake!

  81. paul bonser

    dear mum have a whale of a time at hols

  82. Hava-Say

    Elsie, you’ve been on the gin again. A shark behind me .. Ha Ha .. and pigs will fly!

  83. Jabberjaw

    I GOT NO RESPECT, but then I solved the problem! NUK NUK NUK!

  84. taking up space

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  85. To Gentaur

    Dear Gentaur,
    If you are going to vote all your captions to the top of the page, you could atleast use different names to make it unapparent that you are doing so.

  86. Gentaur

    I’m sorry, someone had been posting smear captions in my name, voting them way up, and voting my captions way down. The website manager has tried to undo the damage, but because of all the guy’s down-voting, the real captions have shot way up, more than they should be. I have not voted for any of my own captions.

  87. To Gentaur

    As long as you aren;t doing it yourself 😉

  88. Mark Beular

    Just when u thought it was okay to get out of your car in a flooded river
    Jaws 8-The Evolution of the fresh water shark

  89. Cunnivore

    I told you not to pull that lever at Seaworld!

  90. Baron O' Fart

    I knew we shouldn’t have filled the gas tank with seal blood!

  91. Craig Dillon

    The Feds are gonna be real pissed bout u keepin that damn shark man!

  92. etl

    next time on “when good pets go bad”

  93. alittleoffcenter

    Rescued by the jaws of life.

  94. christophlopper

    someone stole my cell phone, too!? this day just can’t get any worse.

  95. hensey

    “Well, yeah, I can smell it. Just like my grandmother’s pussy.”

  96. Resisobilus

    Because Shark Kibbles (C) was getting so expensive, Fred came up with an ingenius plan…

  97. davey koot

    Car: 1500 $
    dress: 80 $

    a shark who is eating youre girlfriends mom : PRICELESS

  98. Larry

    In spite of this setback I’ve a feeling it’s gonna be a nice day. Why I can already feel the warm air coming in behind me.

  99. Frenzy

    “I shouldn’t have painted my house blue. It doesn’t match with the grass.”

  100. Luca Brachi

    It smells here like my wife’s mom’s house

  101. The Funny Dutchman

    Ehh I dont think that this is a movie dad

  102. Dirk

    Wat nou haai stomme lul! Hier zitten geen haaien!!!!

  103. anon

    Tamron Hall smells like your Grandmother’s…………………

  104. Edgar

    “..and now the car’s getting flooded. It just doesn’t get any worse than this!”

  105. psr

    Right about now Steve Irwin should jump outta the bushes at the right. ‘Good golly, what a pretty little fella isnt he?’

  106. Austin

    I’ll bet he can’t drink all that water and eat us both.

  107. senrab

    And now, Channel 7 is proud to present, “Bubbles, Fins and Froth” the story of the forgotten bastard children of the Falkland Island conflict…..

  108. Gary

    I opened the door for you bitch, you better unlock my side!

  109. Dave

    “It’s only had 10,000 miles driven on it,” explained Jimmy. “The only downside, if you could call it a downside, is the accompanying great-white”

  110. hi-d

    I like you, people say i have no taste but, i like you

  111. Maico

    I should have insured myself for incoming sharks

  112. toet

    No, we’ll have to break out the door to get it in…

  113. prplmunkii

    the city council’s new idea for meter maids worked like a charm after a rainstorm.

  114. Sammy

    The next instalment of the “Jaws” series suffered major cutbacks in the budget.

  115. Sammy

    “C’mon Chewy, jump in,” said the master to his pet shark.

  116. jUsTaDuDe

    Poor Billy, the guy never knew it was coming.

  117. Nemorach

    San Antonio police have implemented a new deterent to stop people from ignoring baricades at low-water crossings across the city…..

  118. Spiney

    This IS Universal Studios, right? RIGHT???

  119. I masturbate for money

    Shark: Hey, are you guys stranded? I can give you a lift.

  120. hunter

    I DON’T THINK IT WILL FIT IN THE CAR,YOU HOLD THE DOOR I’LL FLUSH HIM IN

  121. hunter

    I DON’T THINK HE WILL FIT IN THE CAR,YOU HOLD THE DOOR AND I’LL FLUSH HIM IN.

  122. Yo-guy

    OH MY GOD!!!! Someone left the car window open!

  123. Z_Rowsdower

    Bush’s new line of defense against those pesky Cubans

    “Bring it on!”

  124. spat

    “Honey, please close the door quickly before the other pets escape from the car!”

  125. Kevmoe

    Honey, the blood from your cut is falling into the water

  126. Crystal King

    Im a dolphin man

    … oh a dolphin, well I guess its okay to come in and use the phone

  127. Crystal King

    Honey the dog is not is not in the car!

    (Man) Relax he could’nt have gone far in this water

  128. cairo

    I’m just saying you should get a new sweater! Geez! Bite my head off why don’t you!

  129. pat

    Damn “white power” activists! As if those homies from New Orleans don´t have enough troubles.

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