Phil never learned the first thing about fixing a car. And now, as he looked at Jennifer standing there cold, wet, shivering, suddenly Phil felt like half a man.
Dear Gentaur,
If you are going to vote all your captions to the top of the page, you could atleast use different names to make it unapparent that you are doing so.
Depressed after starring in several movies and failing to get work for many years, Jaws responds to ad in paper by local police requesting jaws of life needed for automobile extrications.
I’m sorry, someone had been posting smear captions in my name, voting them way up, and voting my captions way down. The website manager has tried to undo the damage, but because of all the guy’s down-voting, the real captions have shot way up, more than they should be. I have not voted for any of my own captions.
This message has been brought to you by PhotoManip Anonymous. This is just one example of how desperately these people need a job and a productive hobby. Please give generously to PhotoManip Anonymous, won’t you?
I order to prevent shark attacks on the homeland, I propose increased immitions from factories, and continue overfishing to undermine sharks natural food sources. God bless America and damn those terrorist sharks to hell.
May 6th, 2003 at 7:36 am
WOW, look at that, Jean. I’ve never seen anything so hideously grotesque…
…a blue house!
May 6th, 2003 at 4:38 pm
Has the Caption Machine finally jumped the shark?
May 8th, 2003 at 1:01 am
“You’re not fooling anyone, you know. Sharks don’t drown.”
June 3rd, 2003 at 6:25 am
Car: 1500 $
dress: 80 $
a shark who is eating youre girlfriends mom : PRICELESS
May 6th, 2003 at 2:32 am
“I saw it all, officer! The shark was just crossing the street when the black car came out of nowhere!”
May 6th, 2003 at 2:25 pm
dunt dunt Dunt Dunt DUNT DUNT DU…John will ya knock it off that stupid shark costume is getting really old!
May 8th, 2003 at 1:04 am
“I told you not to feed him that seal. Now we’ll never get rid of him.”
May 9th, 2003 at 1:51 am
“Excuse me, have you seen a tiny fish named Nemo around here?”
May 7th, 2003 at 12:11 pm
Goldfish! Fosters, Australian for BEER!
May 11th, 2003 at 12:36 am
Phil never learned the first thing about fixing a car. And now, as he looked at Jennifer standing there cold, wet, shivering, suddenly Phil felt like half a man.
June 6th, 2003 at 10:17 am
“I shouldn’t have painted my house blue. It doesn’t match with the grass.”
May 8th, 2003 at 12:59 am
“Great. Now we’re going to have to give Jabberjaw a bath.”
May 12th, 2003 at 1:22 am
I thought “loan shark” was just an expression! I missed only one payment, too…
May 6th, 2003 at 2:42 am
(sniff, sniff) “Nope, not that one. I can’t stand Old Spice-y food.”
May 6th, 2003 at 4:49 pm
Nigel drives right into the high water, and puts the “chum” in “chump”.
May 9th, 2003 at 5:16 pm
“Yeah, right. You see a shark. Shut up and get in the car.”
May 12th, 2003 at 12:31 am
After a trip to Sea-World, Johnny ignores his fathers warnings not to sneak ‘Jaws’ home in the back of the car!
May 7th, 2003 at 6:17 pm
don’t be scared honey, it’s only water, there is absolutlely nothing to worry about.
May 12th, 2003 at 1:18 am
“Oooh, look, honey! He thinks the car is another shark!” “No, he sees your mother inside and thinks SHE is.
Iwould.”May 18th, 2003 at 9:01 am
Elsie, you’ve been on the gin again. A shark behind me .. Ha Ha .. and pigs will fly!
May 5th, 2003 at 1:37 pm
the goldfish Fred flushed when he was nine has finally his revenge
May 6th, 2003 at 2:36 am
“All I wanted was some directions, buddy! What, you have something against sharks?”
May 7th, 2003 at 3:35 am
“Candy-gram!”
May 7th, 2003 at 12:07 pm
Where’s Bush when we need him?
May 9th, 2003 at 11:59 am
Just when you thought it was safe to get back in your car….
May 11th, 2003 at 12:10 am
…like new, runs great, needs new rearend…
May 12th, 2003 at 12:43 am
Excuse me, you’re on my tail.
May 31st, 2003 at 10:54 am
“Well, yeah, I can smell it. Just like my grandmother’s pussy.”
May 10th, 2003 at 5:13 pm
There is no shark
May 6th, 2003 at 2:41 am
“Nope, not that one. I can’t stand Old Spice-y food.”
May 7th, 2003 at 11:56 am
’sheez… could this day get any worse?!?’
May 7th, 2003 at 12:15 pm
It followed me home from swimming practice!
May 8th, 2003 at 4:23 pm
I Say! Bloody, Bad Luck Ol’ Chum!
May 9th, 2003 at 9:48 pm
When Universal Studios decided to combine Jaws with white trash trailer park flooding, park attendance by southern hillbillys rose 63%.
May 11th, 2003 at 2:01 am
Wow, I coulda’ had a V-8!
May 13th, 2003 at 5:53 pm
Al Bundy and Jefferson D’Arcy about to meet their maker!
May 19th, 2003 at 11:19 am
I GOT NO RESPECT, but then I solved the problem! NUK NUK NUK!
May 17th, 2003 at 9:01 am
Excuse me do you have any jumper cables?
May 19th, 2003 at 5:28 pm
Dear Gentaur,
If you are going to vote all your captions to the top of the page, you could atleast use different names to make it unapparent that you are doing so.
May 29th, 2003 at 3:23 pm
“HOLY SHIT!”
June 12th, 2003 at 1:57 pm
“Jaws does exist!”
July 21st, 2003 at 4:20 am
The next instalment of the “Jaws” series suffered major cutbacks in the budget.
August 3rd, 2003 at 1:17 am
San Antonio police have implemented a new deterent to stop people from ignoring baricades at low-water crossings across the city…..
May 6th, 2003 at 8:20 am
We’re gonna need a bigger butt.
May 7th, 2003 at 5:36 pm
Grrr, I will eat you!
May 8th, 2003 at 1:43 pm
“What’s that smell darling? have you been eating rotten dead fish again?”
May 9th, 2003 at 11:45 am
Man rescues drowning Great White Shark and drives it to safety in his Honda Civic
May 13th, 2003 at 4:30 am
Look what you’ve done now! I told you to turn the lights off .. now he’s been attracted to the lights.
May 15th, 2003 at 7:11 am
They had all rolled their eyes and had a good laugh when Tom built his Sharkmobile…
May 21st, 2003 at 7:30 pm
Just when u thought it was okay to get out of your car in a flooded river
Jaws 8-The Evolution of the fresh water shark
May 25th, 2003 at 9:07 am
Dude, No way! I called shotgun!
May 26th, 2003 at 12:51 pm
Wheres the cream filling?
August 24th, 2003 at 10:18 am
Honey the dog is not is not in the car!
(Man) Relax he could’nt have gone far in this water
September 12th, 2006 at 5:16 pm
Damn “white power” activists! As if those homies from New Orleans don´t have enough troubles.
May 5th, 2003 at 1:40 pm
Lawsuit coming, I can see it from here.
May 5th, 2003 at 10:11 pm
Candy-Gram!
May 6th, 2003 at 8:21 am
Watch out, you’ll flood it
May 6th, 2003 at 8:22 am
“Oh, for –! Look, just get out of the way, and I’ll push!”
May 6th, 2003 at 9:06 pm
“I told you not to drive into the high water!”
“Bite me!!”
May 7th, 2003 at 12:01 pm
The tailor to the new film, “Jurrasic Shark.”
May 7th, 2003 at 5:33 pm
Endanger MY species, will ya?
May 7th, 2003 at 9:27 pm
first we annoyed the middle east, now we’ve pissed off Atlantis
May 8th, 2003 at 2:56 pm
lawn-shark?
May 9th, 2003 at 10:32 am
In an attempt to justify increases in insurance premiums, Insurance Companies are siting many other dangers that could face drivers in the country
May 9th, 2003 at 3:14 pm
Hey Bob, I smell tuna. Is that mother behind me?
May 11th, 2003 at 8:21 pm
i know he’s gunna taste like chicken
May 9th, 2003 at 3:44 pm
Yes, I have life insurance. Why do you ask?
May 9th, 2003 at 3:47 pm
“John are you sure the sign said for sea food turn right?
May 10th, 2003 at 11:14 am
Whaaaaaaaaaat did your mother tell you about lying?
May 11th, 2003 at 9:23 am
That restraining order doesn’t seem to have any effect…
June 27th, 2003 at 7:55 am
I opened the door for you bitch, you better unlock my side!
May 11th, 2003 at 6:36 pm
Depressed after starring in several movies and failing to get work for many years, Jaws responds to ad in paper by local police requesting jaws of life needed for automobile extrications.
May 11th, 2003 at 6:49 pm
MMM! Rump roast.
May 11th, 2003 at 8:23 pm
Got man meat ?
May 12th, 2003 at 12:40 am
Although jaws always preferred fresh humans, sometimes he could only get them in a can !
May 14th, 2003 at 8:08 am
Must be one of those new Kia Sea Lions
May 13th, 2003 at 7:56 pm
Well if that just doesnt suck all ass…
May 15th, 2003 at 9:53 am
äöéìå ëøéù!
May 19th, 2003 at 11:26 am
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May 19th, 2003 at 11:27 am
s
h a r k
May 17th, 2003 at 11:56 pm
this cant be real…. it looks sooo fake!
May 18th, 2003 at 8:38 am
dear mum have a whale of a time at hols
May 19th, 2003 at 5:33 pm
shark!
Chomp
May 20th, 2003 at 12:11 am
I’m sorry, someone had been posting smear captions in my name, voting them way up, and voting my captions way down. The website manager has tried to undo the damage, but because of all the guy’s down-voting, the real captions have shot way up, more than they should be. I have not voted for any of my own captions.
May 21st, 2003 at 1:38 pm
As long as you aren;t doing it yourself
May 26th, 2003 at 10:55 am
I knew we shouldn’t have filled the gas tank with seal blood!
May 28th, 2003 at 1:42 pm
The Feds are gonna be real pissed bout u keepin that damn shark man!
May 28th, 2003 at 2:46 pm
next time on “when good pets go bad”
May 31st, 2003 at 11:37 pm
Because Shark Kibbles © was getting so expensive, Fred came up with an ingenius plan…
June 3rd, 2003 at 7:35 am
In spite of this setback I’ve a feeling it’s gonna be a nice day. Why I can already feel the warm air coming in behind me.
June 7th, 2003 at 10:08 am
It smells here like my wife’s mom’s house
June 12th, 2003 at 1:43 am
“..and now the car’s getting flooded. It just doesn’t get any worse than this!”
June 29th, 2003 at 8:48 pm
“It’s only had 10,000 miles driven on it,” explained Jimmy. “The only downside, if you could call it a downside, is the accompanying great-white”
July 4th, 2003 at 2:43 pm
I should have insured myself for incoming sharks
July 7th, 2003 at 8:14 am
No, we’ll have to break out the door to get it in…
July 8th, 2003 at 7:41 pm
the city council’s new idea for meter maids worked like a charm after a rainstorm.
July 12th, 2003 at 3:41 am
Latest car anti-theft device at work
August 22nd, 2003 at 6:53 pm
“Honey, please close the door quickly before the other pets escape from the car!”
May 7th, 2003 at 8:18 am
obviously, these guys didn’t see the ‘High Water And Severe Tire Damage’ sign
May 5th, 2003 at 12:29 pm
Why is no-one helping the drowning shark?
May 7th, 2003 at 9:20 pm
This is what can happen when you flush your pet shark down the toilet.
May 5th, 2003 at 1:41 pm
Dude, where’s my shark?!
May 5th, 2003 at 2:21 pm
The one that got away decides he wants to come back.
May 5th, 2003 at 4:43 pm
Lawyers even chase accidents that occur in water.
May 5th, 2003 at 5:28 pm
Sit, SIT! There’s a good boy…
May 5th, 2003 at 8:59 pm
While car-pooling on his way to work, Sharkman stopped by for a bite to eat.
May 6th, 2003 at 4:37 pm
Human sushi.
May 6th, 2003 at 11:00 pm
where’s the damn shark crossing sign?
May 9th, 2003 at 8:31 pm
“That’s impossible!. . . A Four leaf clover!
May 7th, 2003 at 12:00 pm
Ironically, it ate Steven Speilberg.
May 7th, 2003 at 12:05 pm
Footage of the worst driving test ever.
May 7th, 2003 at 12:05 pm
Now, you see how I put the car in park?
May 7th, 2003 at 12:09 pm
Who let the sharks out?
May 7th, 2003 at 12:16 pm
Join the ARMY, get a free shark.
May 9th, 2003 at 7:42 pm
Say “AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”
May 9th, 2003 at 9:33 pm
Flooding In Tallahassee
May 13th, 2003 at 12:36 pm
To increase shark attacks in the future, we should increase global warming and kill off shark food sources. That will teach them. God Bless America.
May 9th, 2003 at 6:24 pm
Breaking news just in…….in an amazing turn of events—
May 10th, 2003 at 5:59 am
This message has been brought to you by PhotoManip Anonymous. This is just one example of how desperately these people need a job and a productive hobby. Please give generously to PhotoManip Anonymous, won’t you?
May 10th, 2003 at 11:20 am
Residents of Levittown PA have filed a suit
claiming the city did not sufficiently warn the public of all the potential dangers in recent street flooding.
May 12th, 2003 at 12:34 am
For crying out …. I said my car needs new DOORS !!
May 12th, 2003 at 2:43 pm
Look the kids are getting ratty
May 12th, 2003 at 2:44 pm
Swimming between a peuguot and a fiesta, can I get any less stylish?
May 13th, 2003 at 4:34 am
As the big bad shark said: “What a big butt you have”
May 14th, 2003 at 8:06 pm
Yeah, the shark cut me off and forced me into the creek, so I yelled “Bite my a**!”
May 15th, 2003 at 1:06 am
babies, i NEED babies
June 25th, 2003 at 9:46 am
Mommy! I wanne ride in fro-hont!
May 23rd, 2003 at 11:04 am
I told you not to pull that lever at Seaworld!
June 18th, 2003 at 8:30 pm
I’ll bet he can’t drink all that water and eat us both.
May 29th, 2003 at 12:14 am
Rescued by the jaws of life.
May 31st, 2003 at 2:51 am
someone stole my cell phone, too!? this day just can’t get any worse.
June 20th, 2003 at 2:30 am
“Psst… hey… Wanna buy a waterproof watch?”
June 8th, 2003 at 5:11 am
Ehh I dont think that this is a movie dad
June 8th, 2003 at 10:38 am
Wat nou haai stomme lul! Hier zitten geen haaien!!!!
June 8th, 2003 at 1:00 pm
> Hi! (in dutch = shark)
June 19th, 2003 at 9:35 pm
And now, Channel 7 is proud to present, “Bubbles, Fins and Froth” the story of the forgotten bastard children of the Falkland Island conflict…..
June 13th, 2003 at 5:20 am
I just love this tinned food !
June 13th, 2003 at 1:53 pm
Right about now Steve Irwin should jump outta the bushes at the right. ‘Good golly, what a pretty little fella isnt he?’
July 1st, 2003 at 10:29 pm
I like you, people say i have no taste but, i like you
July 20th, 2003 at 11:26 am
Dont make a fuss Bill, just get in the car, or no pudding for you tonight!
July 26th, 2003 at 10:10 pm
Poor Billy, the guy never knew it was coming.
August 3rd, 2003 at 8:18 am
This IS Universal Studios, right? RIGHT???
August 4th, 2003 at 8:52 pm
Shark: Hey, are you guys stranded? I can give you a lift.
August 5th, 2003 at 9:13 pm
I DON’T THINK IT WILL FIT IN THE CAR,YOU HOLD THE DOOR I’LL FLUSH HIM IN
August 5th, 2003 at 9:19 pm
I DON’T THINK HE WILL FIT IN THE CAR,YOU HOLD THE DOOR AND I’LL FLUSH HIM IN.
August 23rd, 2003 at 10:36 pm
Honey, the blood from your cut is falling into the water
August 6th, 2003 at 4:00 pm
OH MY GOD!!!! Someone left the car window open!
August 8th, 2003 at 1:37 pm
Did I leave the oven on?
August 11th, 2003 at 11:58 pm
are they gonna save that ugly boy?
August 12th, 2003 at 2:50 pm
Shark: Damn..it DOES taste like chicken!!
August 14th, 2003 at 1:05 pm
Murphy’s Law
August 16th, 2003 at 9:30 am
Bush’s new line of defense against those pesky Cubans
“Bring it on!”
August 31st, 2003 at 10:31 am
And now for one of Steven Speilberg’s more pecuiliar nightmares…
September 12th, 2003 at 6:29 pm
Mouthful of ass in 3… 2… 1…
October 24th, 2003 at 7:02 pm
“So what’s for dinner, honey?”
October 29th, 2004 at 11:49 am
Holy S***T!!!!!!!
March 29th, 2004 at 2:34 pm
I’m just saying you should get a new sweater! Geez! Bite my head off why don’t you!
May 5th, 2003 at 10:47 am
Damn it! I told you to by the 4×4 with swampers on it….
May 7th, 2003 at 5:27 pm
Jaws finally resorted to doing cheap car flooding commercials.
May 5th, 2003 at 8:52 pm
as you can see, the ex-family goldfish circles ad prepares to attack his unsespecting prey…
May 6th, 2003 at 3:01 pm
The “Do not enter when flooded” sign always guides the shark to a yummy meal–stupid humans who don’t read signs!
May 7th, 2003 at 12:14 pm
Fred opens the car door for his blind date, Sharkie, and his pround mother, Elizabeth.
May 7th, 2003 at 5:38 pm
Did we really HAVE to destroy the Amazon rainforest and melt the polar ice caps?
May 9th, 2003 at 8:24 pm
I order to prevent shark attacks on the homeland, I propose increased immitions from factories, and continue overfishing to undermine sharks natural food sources. God bless America and damn those terrorist sharks to hell.
June 10th, 2003 at 6:04 pm
Tamron Hall smells like your Grandmother’s…………………
July 21st, 2003 at 4:37 am
“C’mon Chewy, jump in,” said the master to his pet shark.
May 6th, 2003 at 2:25 am
Uh oh, better get the mako.
May 10th, 2003 at 12:50 am
Very Good….