Frantic call to 911: “Operator, my suicidal husband has gone over the edge…he’s swallowed a box of bullets, some gun powder, a keg of beer and a box of baking soda…he’s locked himself in the basement with me and the kids!!!”
Operator: “Don’t panic ma’am…help is on the way. Turn off your oil heater and the gas line leading to your stove. Don’t point him at anyone, and DO NOT accept any offers to pull his finger.”
This year’s edition of the Plastic Surgery Manual was printed without the 24 page section discussing the possible consequences of operating when under the influence of LSD.
The record for the most babies a male has been pregnant with is held by Goerge Capitella from Inman, KS. In this picture he is six months pregnant with QUINTS!
SideViper, Darrell Issa, Michael Savage, Anthony Travis, Lorraine Popelka, Theresa.A.Steinbach, Tom Tancredo, Paulie Esparza, James.O.Bishop, Greg Kolinek, Bruce Wolf, Josh Lewin, Juan Carlos Fanjul, C.K. Cooper, Shawn Burke, Bill Simon, Chris Lauzen & I LOVE those Cleveland Steamers done by Osama Bin Laden!!!!!!!!!!!!!, YUMMY, YUMMY!!!!!!!!!!!.
Elwood Flutch of East Grout, Arkansas, proud member of George W. Bush’s Personal Methane Initiative (formerly the Personal Initiative to Generate Methane to Aid our Nation, or P.I.G.M.A.N.)
Breaking News Report: A terrible explosion happened today in a small town. As the people gathered to see the man with the enormous belly, the belly started to rumble and jump. The man yelled run for your lives! People screamed and ran. Just as everyone got away, they heared the biggest explosion ever. Film at 11.
“if we ever get stranded on a cold mountaintop, you can eat me first”, general Bigbelly said. Minutes later, he died of a heartattack, letting all the fat go to waste…
April 11th, 2005 at 3:29 am
I’ve reached my goal… 500kg’s!
July 25th, 2004 at 2:22 pm
they say that inside of every fat person there is a thin person trying to get out but unless his name is houdini i dont think we will be seeing him
May 17th, 2003 at 8:57 am
Welcome to No Crappers Anonymous, I’m Bob and I took my last dump on 12 february 1982
April 23rd, 2004 at 8:28 pm
Frantic call to 911: “Operator, my suicidal husband has gone over the edge…he’s swallowed a box of bullets, some gun powder, a keg of beer and a box of baking soda…he’s locked himself in the basement with me and the kids!!!”
Operator: “Don’t panic ma’am…help is on the way. Turn off your oil heater and the gas line leading to your stove. Don’t point him at anyone, and DO NOT accept any offers to pull his finger.”
May 15th, 2003 at 11:16 am
See? I told you eating Pop Rocks and soda won’t kill you.
July 4th, 2003 at 2:33 pm
“I happen to know where Osama and Saddam are hiding…”
May 19th, 2003 at 8:41 am
five minutes later Bob let an enormous one rip…No one from the town was ever seen again…
May 15th, 2003 at 11:36 am
Excess facial hair is a common side-effect of most modern fertility drugs.
June 21st, 2003 at 11:54 pm
Herbert enjoyed life so much he ate it.
May 16th, 2003 at 5:49 am
Oh, the humanity!
May 16th, 2003 at 12:41 am
Somewhere in American there’s a chinese restaurant being deprived of a Buddah.
May 19th, 2003 at 11:29 am
The Atkins diet worked for ME!
September 12th, 2003 at 9:27 pm
DUCK!!!!!!!! He’s aiming it at US!!!!!!!
May 31st, 2003 at 10:40 am
Johny Ferrari, brother of Lolo Ferrari.
May 22nd, 2003 at 10:54 am
When this guy goes to the beach, does Greenpeace try to push him back out to sea?
May 15th, 2003 at 10:24 am
Auditions for “Kool-Aid Man: the Real Story” went better than expected.
May 15th, 2003 at 2:56 pm
The fourth Dixie Chick bares all.
June 19th, 2003 at 9:17 pm
“Of course you know, I never lose when the reputation of Madame Mallomar is at stake Mr. Bond!!!”
May 16th, 2003 at 12:19 am
Pillsbury Dough Redneck
May 22nd, 2003 at 10:53 am
Mark McGWIRE really let himself go.
July 30th, 2003 at 9:09 pm
Do you like my sexy body?
May 27th, 2003 at 11:47 pm
OOMPA LOOMPA DOOPEDY DOO I’ve got another puzzle for you
June 6th, 2005 at 10:22 am
Yummie, yummie, yummie, I got love in my tummy and I feel like loving you!
May 19th, 2003 at 11:31 am
Fortunately, Bill was able to eat the shark when it got close to his car.
May 16th, 2003 at 10:59 pm
This year’s edition of the Plastic Surgery Manual was printed without the 24 page section discussing the possible consequences of operating when under the influence of LSD.
May 17th, 2003 at 5:16 pm
Yellow-bellied tap sucker.
May 16th, 2003 at 11:47 am
Rush Limbaugh slimmed down drastically for his new career as a sumo wrestler.
June 8th, 2003 at 6:54 pm
Publicity still from “Alien 19″. (Ripley’s grandson incubating triplets).
May 19th, 2003 at 3:08 am
Sean thought getting into the Guinness Book of World Records required a world record of Guinness.
May 15th, 2003 at 11:50 am
He said he’d had a vasectomy.
Now my dad is going to disown me
May 15th, 2003 at 7:20 pm
For some reason that little slit in the middle turns me on.
June 1st, 2003 at 10:44 pm
OMG!! Its true what they say about swallowing watermelon seeds!!
May 18th, 2003 at 11:36 am
Tragically, this picture was taken just seconds before Hugo exploded from downing an entire keg of beer.
May 15th, 2003 at 7:00 pm
Oompa, loompa, doo-pa-dee doo…
May 16th, 2003 at 7:48 am
Suspenders: $5… 100,000 beers… $200,000… Telling your son that this is what he’s got to look forward to… priceless
May 18th, 2003 at 8:45 am
Horace .. The balloon - you’re supposed to blow it up, tie it off and then hang it up .. not swallow the dang thing!!!
May 21st, 2003 at 11:04 pm
Jesus, Frank… When I told you to stick your ring together with Super Glue…
June 5th, 2003 at 6:55 am
“err my wife? dunno where she’s at really”
June 30th, 2003 at 7:52 am
can somebody please push my belly aside, i’d like to see my dick!
May 20th, 2003 at 10:24 pm
Guiness Book Of World Records
The record for the most babies a male has been pregnant with is held by Goerge Capitella from Inman, KS. In this picture he is six months pregnant with QUINTS!
June 12th, 2003 at 6:24 pm
After the postive results of the bloodtest, Natalia Onistov, finally admitted using doping.
May 15th, 2003 at 7:17 pm
I can eat 50 boiled eggs.
May 15th, 2003 at 2:38 pm
It’s gonna pop! So watch out for the big zit on his forehead.
May 17th, 2003 at 11:13 am
Next on FOX: When Alien Anal Probing Impregnation Goes Very Wrong.
May 19th, 2003 at 2:51 pm
Does this make my boobs look big?
May 24th, 2003 at 4:28 am
Mark McGwire 500 litre
June 4th, 2003 at 6:34 am
i only wanted beer but the whole tap came with it
July 5th, 2003 at 3:45 pm
Beer belly ? No way … it’s a fuel tank for a sex machine !
August 6th, 2003 at 6:49 pm
Big Bob after his “Free Food from McDonald’s for a Year!” expired.
September 21st, 2003 at 6:31 pm
i have a gas problam don’t come any closer
May 16th, 2003 at 12:48 am
“You look just like a little baby…
GET IN MY BELLLY!!”
July 4th, 2003 at 10:51 am
1 BELLY, 1 NEEDLE, 1 BIG BANG
July 4th, 2003 at 7:37 am
The last time i saw my own feet was 37 years ago.
(do my socks match?)
May 16th, 2003 at 12:22 am
FIRST MAN TO BECOME PREGNANT GIVES BIRTH TO BILLY-BOB JR.
May 16th, 2003 at 12:23 am
I’m not smiling…I’m passing gas.
May 16th, 2003 at 3:28 am
Peter’s Nipples became overly jealous as “belly” puffed up with pride and posed for the camera.
May 19th, 2003 at 11:36 am
Big guy in a little coat….
Big guy in a little coat.
May 20th, 2003 at 5:26 pm
I bet he dont get cold in winter.
May 21st, 2003 at 2:19 am
OK who’s for a game of squash?
May 22nd, 2003 at 2:09 am
“Name?” “Bubba.” “Okay, Mr. Bubble, please have a seat.” “I’m already sitting, and it’s just Bubba!”
May 22nd, 2003 at 2:10 am
“My son started calling me Pop. Ain’t that cute?”
June 6th, 2003 at 2:29 pm
You know I’m fat, I’m fat, I’m really REALLY fat!!
June 9th, 2003 at 2:42 am
That dang python ate my little dog, so I got even & I ate the bloody python!
June 10th, 2003 at 4:50 am
New Health warning from the makers of strawberry Sunny D
June 11th, 2003 at 3:39 am
Hehehe… I swallowed my doughters skippyball and nobody noticed..
June 12th, 2003 at 1:45 am
“Now hurry - where’s that flat tire? I can’t hold this for too much longer!”
June 16th, 2003 at 4:17 pm
Bubba told me he was going to eat his girlfriend last night, but somehow I thought he meant …….
June 14th, 2003 at 6:01 am
i spose if i put on a wig and lose 3 teeth i can audition for jerry springer
June 14th, 2003 at 8:13 am
“uh well I have been pregnant for five years now”
July 15th, 2003 at 11:12 am
“Tell that guy behind me he can quit blowing now, I’m full.”
August 3rd, 2003 at 3:49 am
Quick, someone get this man a belly- button, HE’S ABOUT TO EXPLODE!!!!
August 1st, 2003 at 4:59 am
Strangely, the Chippendales filed for bankruptcy not long after they hired Bob.
August 3rd, 2003 at 7:52 pm
I AM WARNING YOU ALL “STAND BACK OR I”LL
DROP ONE HERE AND NOW.
August 9th, 2003 at 10:27 am
SideViper, Darrell Issa, Michael Savage, Anthony Travis, Lorraine Popelka, Theresa.A.Steinbach, Tom Tancredo, Paulie Esparza, James.O.Bishop, Greg Kolinek, Bruce Wolf, Josh Lewin, Juan Carlos Fanjul, C.K. Cooper, Shawn Burke, Bill Simon, Chris Lauzen & I LOVE those Cleveland Steamers done by Osama Bin Laden!!!!!!!!!!!!!, YUMMY, YUMMY!!!!!!!!!!!.
May 18th, 2003 at 7:06 am
nice man
greetz, peterthemailer
May 15th, 2003 at 4:01 pm
my dick , my dick ,someone help me find my dick
May 15th, 2003 at 7:07 pm
Elwood Flutch of East Grout, Arkansas, proud member of George W. Bush’s Personal Methane Initiative (formerly the Personal Initiative to Generate Methane to Aid our Nation, or P.I.G.M.A.N.)
May 15th, 2003 at 7:35 pm
One of seventy-five people a year who, in the midst of a second childhood, swallow their beloved Hoppity Hop
May 16th, 2003 at 11:16 am
Yum, my stomach is acting up again. Going to be raining soon.
June 4th, 2003 at 6:28 am
the movie junior becomes reality
May 17th, 2003 at 8:12 pm
When I fart are people gonna know it or what?
May 18th, 2003 at 8:49 am
I even croak like a bull frog! Ribbett ~ Ribbett!
May 18th, 2003 at 8:52 am
Me mates call me “Monty Python” .. cos I can swallow anything! (Burp)!
May 19th, 2003 at 11:40 am
Tim was delited to here that he won the “Sleep with Brittany Spears” competition.
May 19th, 2003 at 3:07 pm
Where the hell did yall get my family photo album…
May 19th, 2003 at 11:51 pm
Michael Jackson finally settles on an appearance.
May 20th, 2003 at 1:19 pm
Oh no, he ate the pillsbury doughboy!
May 22nd, 2003 at 3:58 am
Inventor of the “Space Hopper” can’t remember what gave him the idea.
June 22nd, 2003 at 5:34 pm
Plaintiff in Faulty Breast Implant case claims leaking saline drained into his belly causing it to swell enormously
May 23rd, 2003 at 11:02 am
I TOLD you I could swallow Marlon Brando whole! Now gimme my 5 bucks!
May 23rd, 2003 at 4:15 pm
The Bill Clinton story.
May 27th, 2003 at 4:14 pm
Im an american
May 28th, 2003 at 1:39 pm
“Man, i should get Guinness sponsership!”
May 28th, 2003 at 2:47 pm
for the first time in her life after seeing this picture, oprah didn’t feel so bad.
May 29th, 2003 at 5:27 am
The ‘Al Bundy’ BURGERS AND BARLEY POP ,BODY BUILDING METHOD…….ITS FOOL PROOF!,jUST STUFF IT AND WATCH IT GROW!!
June 1st, 2003 at 12:31 am
i’m fat
June 1st, 2003 at 2:48 pm
This is what happens when an Oompa Loompa eats all the other Oompa Loompas.
June 3rd, 2003 at 7:30 am
Everybody asks me that. You’re probably not really sick. That’s just the gravitational pull.
June 5th, 2003 at 3:07 pm
You are as old as you feel?
You are as fat as you feel!
June 8th, 2003 at 10:37 am
ja, vriezer deed het niet meer, moest ik alles dan weggooien ofzo??
June 18th, 2003 at 11:58 am
wat unne vetlap
June 16th, 2003 at 7:55 pm
I Gained 400 pounds on the subway diet!! Thanks Jaried
June 18th, 2003 at 6:15 am
so let me tell you about the birds and the fatman en flowers and the beers and the good old yummy sugar
July 1st, 2003 at 10:24 pm
Look, there are SEVERAL people i find cruely obnoxious in this world, and you are ALL of them
July 4th, 2003 at 3:46 pm
“Daddy, have you seen my skippyball?”
“Brrrp”
July 9th, 2003 at 1:48 pm
Fast Food Kills
July 10th, 2003 at 9:30 am
Imagine the mess if you popped the basturd!
July 15th, 2003 at 12:28 am
Thanks for coming in for the interview, we’ll call you.
July 22nd, 2003 at 2:34 pm
The “Hunting For Bambi” heterophobic paintball artists sucked my little dickie for free!!!!!!!!!.
July 27th, 2003 at 5:25 am
So anyway, Little Red Riding Hood said, “Oh My, What big teeth you have…”
August 1st, 2003 at 4:15 am
Stop!! Just stay away from me with that hatpin. If I go I’ll take the whole town with me.
August 1st, 2003 at 6:06 am
“Are you aware your diet seems to have stopped working?”
August 2nd, 2003 at 10:12 pm
Get in mah belly!
August 3rd, 2003 at 7:59 pm
YOU NAME A TUNE AND I”LL PLAY IT WITH MY ARSE
August 4th, 2003 at 2:58 pm
Auditions for the part of Serleena in MIB attracted a few weirdos
August 7th, 2003 at 12:53 pm
Finally, somebody ate the big apple
August 9th, 2003 at 10:30 am
And my honey boy Mikey Burdick too loves those Cleveland Steamers done by Osama Bin Laden!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
August 9th, 2003 at 10:32 am
Also my Georgie W. Boy!!!!!!!!!!, Or Boy Georgie!!!!!!!!!!!!.
August 10th, 2003 at 2:13 pm
“Frank, that fight with the little lady last night was pretty bad. Say, where is your wife?”
August 18th, 2003 at 12:16 am
Is he single…
August 16th, 2003 at 9:26 am
auditions began for the live-action “Simpsons” movie
August 16th, 2003 at 11:25 pm
you should see the rest of me.
August 21st, 2003 at 11:52 pm
Hi, My name is Chuck, and I’m an eataholic.
August 29th, 2003 at 12:21 pm
Dave Robbins & Charley Lake give me good head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
September 12th, 2003 at 6:14 pm
I don’t think he’s gonna stop!
September 21st, 2003 at 12:03 pm
“i am byotiful no metter what they say….”
December 4th, 2003 at 11:28 am
Funny?????
December 7th, 2003 at 3:11 pm
“Is it going to be a boy or a girl?”
“It’s triplets, one of each”
April 23rd, 2004 at 8:07 pm
PULL MY FINGER!
April 23rd, 2004 at 8:10 pm
…so my wife sez, “Look at that big belly of yours. If that belly was on a woman, she’d be pregnant with twins.”
So I sez, “It was…and she is.”
May 10th, 2004 at 6:46 pm
is there any pepto-bismal in the house?
May 12th, 2004 at 7:09 pm
People were suprised she was pregnant… transvesteits can get pregnant too!!!
August 11th, 2004 at 11:03 pm
It’s another Hindenberg disaster waiting to happen!
April 7th, 2005 at 4:38 pm
When Jonah ate the whale
April 11th, 2005 at 3:48 am
joo
May 4th, 2006 at 4:21 pm
Breaking News Report: A terrible explosion happened today in a small town. As the people gathered to see the man with the enormous belly, the belly started to rumble and jump. The man yelled run for your lives! People screamed and ran. Just as everyone got away, they heared the biggest explosion ever. Film at 11.
May 5th, 2006 at 1:26 pm
I’m a big fat man look at me
I have an enormous belly
It’s so big and round and hard as a rock
Please rub my belly before it POPS!
April 15th, 2004 at 8:41 pm
Haven’t you heard…
BUMBLES BOUNCE!!!
July 11th, 2003 at 1:49 am
No, son, THIS is not because of beer… This is FOR beer! =)
May 18th, 2003 at 1:09 pm
Nothing funny about this loser. Why in the hell is he smiling?
May 15th, 2003 at 3:15 pm
Midgets, taste great, less filling.
May 16th, 2003 at 11:13 am
Because I’m fat, I’m fat….
May 16th, 2003 at 11:13 am
I think he’s trying to compensate for something.
May 16th, 2003 at 11:15 am
I am the ostrich, coo coo cachoo.
May 18th, 2003 at 8:37 am
intell inside omg this is not what they meant is it!
May 15th, 2003 at 7:32 pm
I am the N.R.A.
May 15th, 2003 at 11:53 am
Three Billy Goats Gruff is all I can handle
May 15th, 2003 at 7:02 pm
Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart’s less-well-known cousin, Olaf “The Blob” Neidhart
May 24th, 2003 at 12:25 am
He is preagnant!!! Maybe will be a boy!!
May 15th, 2003 at 11:28 pm
“It ain’t heavy… It’s my blubber.”
May 15th, 2003 at 11:52 pm
After a horrible incident with a bottle of blueberry ale, Willy Wonka shut down his brewery.
May 16th, 2003 at 12:35 am
Abercrombie and Fitch’s new model
May 16th, 2003 at 7:02 am
The World Is Not Enough II , more effects, more stunts, but most important, more real! (literally)
May 16th, 2003 at 2:09 pm
Just got a job at the Hanes company testing a new line of suspenders
May 16th, 2003 at 3:16 pm
“Man inhales worlds largest helium balloon, but gets tired of speaking funny and won’t let it all out” News at 11
May 19th, 2003 at 7:17 am
“if we ever get stranded on a cold mountaintop, you can eat me first”, general Bigbelly said. Minutes later, he died of a heartattack, letting all the fat go to waste…
May 19th, 2003 at 11:28 am
Richard Simmons?
May 16th, 2003 at 9:12 pm
Good reason not to inhale when blowing up balloons for little jimmys party….
May 16th, 2003 at 9:14 pm
Auditions for “Cool Hand Luke 2 - The coming of the egg” went smoothly until little Jimmy Babcock from Alabama showed up and ate ALL the eggs.
May 17th, 2003 at 7:51 am
Don’t hate me just cause I’m beautiful!
May 17th, 2003 at 10:36 am
And they thought Manatees were ugly….
May 17th, 2003 at 11:53 am
“Dude, Bill, I told you to pop that zit a long time ago!!”
May 19th, 2003 at 11:37 am
I wonder if this picture is cropped.
May 19th, 2003 at 2:28 pm
Lipo-injection
May 19th, 2003 at 2:57 pm
Jared stops accepting calls from Subway and dives right into a 3 month popcorn binge
May 19th, 2003 at 5:21 pm
I sure hope not.