Kobe’s Real Judge
Even if Kobe can afford a good enough lawyer to get off, he’s got one judge that he’ll really have to answer to regardless.
Caption Machine
as funny as you are.Single Entry
110 Captions to 'Kobe’s Real Judge'
Listed in order of rank.You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
July 25th, 2003 at 4:54 pm | Promoted
damn.i really thought i’d get off the hook faster then r.kelly sniff sniff
July 25th, 2003 at 6:24 pm | Promoted
Oooo la la! That girl in pink is hot. Hmmm….
Oh shit, what your honor? no i haven’t rape the girl in pink yet. Ops, I mean no.
July 25th, 2003 at 6:59 pm | Promoted
“Yes, I admit it! I have started using chewing tobacco.”
July 25th, 2003 at 7:44 pm | Promoted
Well, for crying out loud, my wife’s a Romulan. What was I supposed to do?
July 25th, 2003 at 7:44 pm | Promoted
Ingmar Bergman’s Court TV
July 25th, 2003 at 11:40 pm
Kobe does his impression of Alfred Hitchcock.
July 25th, 2003 at 11:46 pm | Promoted
“Mr. Bryant, are you holding a tweety bird in your mouth? Mr. Bryant?”
July 26th, 2003 at 1:50 am | Promoted
Since nothing else seems to work, Kobe goes old-school and tries to hold his breath until he gets his way.
July 26th, 2003 at 11:21 am
Bob Ley touches little boys’ ding dongs, Shamelessly!!!!!!!!!!.
July 26th, 2003 at 10:18 pm | Promoted
Wife:”He couldnt right now because the gir… i mean cousin punched him”
July 27th, 2003 at 3:43 am
Fixodent and forget it!
July 27th, 2003 at 5:40 pm | Promoted
In an emotional press conference held at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, Lakers star Kobe Byrant was in tears when he heard that Bill Clinton would be defending him against a charge that he had sexually assaulted a 19-year-old woman in Colorado.
July 27th, 2003 at 7:01 pm | Promoted
Kobe Bryant responds to questions about his latest testicle foul.
July 27th, 2003 at 7:03 pm | Promoted
Kobe is charged with a loose balls foul.
July 27th, 2003 at 9:33 pm
is that Bubba of Bubba Gump?
July 28th, 2003 at 10:14 am | Promoted
There’s gumbo shrimp, shrimp salad, shrimp kaboobs, poached shrimp, fried shrimp . . .
July 28th, 2003 at 11:27 pm | Promoted
OOOhhhhhh noooo you diiiieeenntt!
July 28th, 2003 at 11:28 pm | Promoted
Anyone heard of the term: “Kobe Beef Injection”
July 29th, 2003 at 1:55 am | Promoted
“Four million dollars. FOUR MILLION DOLLARS. I’m not gonna cry. I’m NOT gonna cry…”
July 29th, 2003 at 5:45 pm | Promoted
Somebody should have thrown him a basketball.
July 29th, 2003 at 5:48 pm | Promoted
In case you don’t get it, “How do you stop niggers from raping a girl? Throw them a basketball!”
July 30th, 2003 at 9:26 pm
Repeat after me ‘thing a thonga thixthpenth…’
July 31st, 2003 at 9:07 pm | Promoted
kobe and wife audition for new ABBA video clip.
July 31st, 2003 at 10:37 pm | Promoted
I hope she doesn’t know that I farted.
July 31st, 2003 at 10:39 pm | Promoted
All She Had to do was let me go down Hershy Highway.
August 2nd, 2003 at 10:30 pm | Promoted
Kobe’s wife, “You know looking like a monkey doesn’t help, Kobe. Give it up!”
August 3rd, 2003 at 6:04 pm | Promoted
Damn it, did I just say I did that!! let’s
see what happens now…
August 3rd, 2003 at 6:17 pm | Promoted
Me a stupid coonie.
August 4th, 2003 at 1:39 am | Promoted
Under advice from my attorney “Marv Alpert”, I’ve had all my teeth removed.
August 4th, 2003 at 2:36 pm | Promoted
Kobe Bryant, in his latest attempt to mimic his idol, Magic Johnson.
Let’s see:
Outstanding basketball player – check!
Play for the Lakers – check!
Get a wife who supports me no matter what – check!
Cheat on her – check!
Get aids – hmmm…maybe I should find another idol.
August 4th, 2003 at 11:26 pm | Promoted
Every star has abad side to them Tyson the abusive guy Majic with 6 girls in bed at the same time R. Kelly wut a molester, but it comes to a nigga who slept with a white girl from colarodo u know theres a problem and lookin lik a monkey ain’t gonna get u out of this one Kobe.
August 5th, 2003 at 4:33 am
sheet, I gotta tickle my butta hole!!!!
August 6th, 2003 at 1:16 am
When we get home I’m gonna smoke your ass too, bitch.
August 6th, 2003 at 7:34 pm | Promoted
I’m gonna have a husband in jail.
August 7th, 2003 at 12:53 pm
Damn, I’d rather have AIDS like Magic Johnson!while
August 7th, 2003 at 2:14 pm
“Yeah yeah…whin ah tole mah wife…dat bitch dun pop me in mah grill. Dat shit hurt too!”
August 7th, 2003 at 2:17 pm
Your honor, I dun tolt ya tha whistle go woo woo!
August 7th, 2003 at 2:18 pm | Promoted
“Don’t hate the player…hate the game”
August 7th, 2003 at 2:20 pm
calgon take me away
August 7th, 2003 at 2:22 pm
when I handed him the vacuum when he asked for a blowjob, i thought he’d use it on his cock
August 7th, 2003 at 2:22 pm | Promoted
“Your honor…..did you see that hoe I tapped? Tell me you wouldn’t have hit it!!!”
August 7th, 2003 at 2:23 pm | Promoted
Kobe Bryant re-enacts the face of his accusser during the “alleged” rape
August 7th, 2003 at 4:52 pm | Promoted
Lithen, dith fat lip cum cuz my cum shot the back of her mouth sooooo hard her head flipped back and slapped me on my upside…..I thay thwith….3 pointer!!!
August 7th, 2003 at 11:17 pm
hey the first 8 inches were consenual
August 8th, 2003 at 3:38 pm | Promoted
...and this one time
...at basketball camp
August 11th, 2003 at 10:34 am | Promoted
Kobe’s last endorsment, Beechnut Chewing Tobacco
August 11th, 2003 at 11:50 pm | Promoted
(INSERT FUNNY CAPTION HERE)
August 12th, 2003 at 5:40 am | Promoted
You can make all the stupid faces you want to Kobe, but we can still notice your male-pattern baldness…
August 12th, 2003 at 9:22 am
“I can’t believe that ring wasn’t enough! How you gon’take my goddamn top lip and make yours outta it…biatch”
August 12th, 2003 at 2:48 pm
Hurry up with dis damn press conference…I gotta hottie waiting fo me back at da crib! DAYUM!Is dat bitch starin’ at me again?!!
August 14th, 2003 at 12:35 am | Promoted
Kobe plays air trumpet.
August 16th, 2003 at 8:41 am | Promoted
man, this
canker sorewhy won’t it GO AWAY!?!August 16th, 2003 at 12:52 pm
Don’t put a black women or white man on the jury, put the groopies on the jury. They’ll free him so they can get their piece of the action. A fool and his money will soon part. Once these black players get some money, the next thing they get is a white women. Once these black men get money, the next thing you see are white women surroundidng them. They marry anybody as long as he has mony. Together they create a subculture. Check out Tiger Woods, he’s on his second blond. Have you ever seen any of these men with a high class white women, no.
August 17th, 2003 at 11:41 pm | Promoted
Theresa.A.Steinbach of Forest Park, Ill politics says This is NOTHING but an All-White conspiracy of Mayor Calderone-Mayor Serpico-Mayor Daley-Ed Vrdolyak White Trash cadre, And says to contact Malik Shabazz-Michael McGhee-Gus Savage for an Anti-White backlash against the Calderone-Serpico Reaganite racists.
August 19th, 2003 at 3:46 pm | Promoted
Theresa.A.Steinbach is my NEW defender, And Jeanine.L.Stevens my defense attorney, Defending agianst the White male dominated law system.
August 19th, 2003 at 3:48 pm
Don’t Drop The Soap!!!!!!!!!.
August 19th, 2003 at 3:50 pm
I HATE THIS WHITE RACIST MEDIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
August 19th, 2003 at 7:45 pm
seriously….i used a rubber honey
August 20th, 2003 at 10:13 pm
that was lame
August 22nd, 2003 at 10:23 am | Promoted
Thank you, Theresa.A.Steinbach & Katie Grate for wanting to overthrow the White Racist Trash of the Calderone-Serpico hiearchy in Forest Park & The West Suburbs, Thanks for condemning the Uncle Tom hiearchy of Karen Yarborough, We want James.O.Bishop-Anthony Travis-Robbie Grace-21st Century Vote to take over this racist, zionist MAFIA cesspool shyt, Free Mumia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Theresa.A.Steinbach, Jeanine.L.Stevens & I show a disdain for the racist, zionist Police Force, Mo Fo honkies!!!!!, Unca Toms!!!!!!!
August 23rd, 2003 at 10:51 am | Promoted
It’s not Katie Grate, That’s a radical, It’s THE WATCHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. And he wants to make Forest Park, Ill into another East St.Louis, Ill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
August 23rd, 2003 at 11:02 am | Promoted
Theresa.A.Steinbach-Anthony Travis-The Watcher-James.O.Bishop-Paulie Esparza-Pamela Cannamore-Kathy.M.Ryan-Greg Kolinek-Gus Savage-Malik Shabazz-Michael McGhee-Lorraine Popelka-Bill Ayers-Bernadine Dohrn-Tom Newdow-Rick Ganulin-Enaam Aranout-Lynne Stewart-Jeanine.L.Stevens-O’Sullivan of Forest Park Review-Bill Lichtenburg-Monique Davis-Bob Perkins-Steve Cokely-Al Sampson-R.Eugene Pincham-Paul Jakes-Al Sharpton-Jon Daye-Toney Ayaya ALL BLAME IT ON THE STUPID WHITE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, For the Calderone-Serpico-Daley-Vrdolyak Reaganite Racism
August 23rd, 2003 at 11:03 am | Promoted
And Michael Swift, TOO!!!!!!!!.
August 26th, 2003 at 12:14 pm | Promoted
Theresa.A.Steinbach, Fred Bibro & I vehemently support a Cabrini-Green housing development in Forest Park, Ill & More Section 8’er’s against the racist White Trash Calderone housing plans. As does my comrade, For all the stupid white people here.
August 26th, 2003 at 9:24 pm
Man, I hate that 8Didit.com, hate it, hate it, hate it…
August 27th, 2003 at 5:17 am | Promoted
‘your honor, i just love colorado! in fact i’ve got colorado on the insode of my lower lip right now!’ hahahaha
August 27th, 2003 at 4:49 pm
“We Got Shrimp Gumbo, Shrimp Scampi,...................
August 27th, 2003 at 4:53 pm
get it off me,....Ahhhhhhhh, get it off my face.!?!?!..
August 27th, 2003 at 4:54 pm
damn….we burnt another one!!
August 28th, 2003 at 11:52 am | Promoted
Theresa.A.Steinbach of Forest Park, Ill politics, For the stupid white people here, Anthony Travis, James.O.Bishop, Malik Shabazz, Ta-Hara are my REAL HEROES, Against this STUPID WHITE TRASH CABAL!!!!!!!!!!.
August 29th, 2003 at 10:47 am | Promoted
Theresa.A.Steinbach-Lorraine Popelka-Anthony Travis-Steven Backman-Bill Ayers-Malik Shabazz-Al Sharpton-Paulie Esparza-Michael Swift-Fred Bibro-James.O.Bishop-Gus Savage-Enaam Aranout-Greg Kolinek-Rick Ganulin-Michael McGhee-Louis Farrakahan-Kathy.M.Ryan-Robbie Grace-Jeanine.L.Stevens-Bob Perkins-R.Eugene Pincham-Dario Fo-Doolin & Johnsen-Lu Palmer-Bruce Crosby-Chinta Strausberg-Paul Jakes-Al Sampson-Tom Newdow-Monique Davis-George Forbes-Pamela Cannamore-Jon Daye-Boyse Edwards-Bobbie Raymond-Oilcan Boyd-John Howard Society-Ed Yohnka-Guri Ademi & I, A Fierce Militant Force against the racist-sexist-zionist-homophobic-eurocentric Calderone-Serpico-Daley-Vrdolyak Reaganite Racism
August 29th, 2003 at 10:48 am | Promoted
And Ben Chavis, Too!!!!!!!!!
August 29th, 2003 at 10:52 am | Promoted
OH, I FORGOT!!!!!!!!!!!, For the stupid white people here & The Watcher, TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 29th, 2003 at 10:53 am | Promoted
AND Earl Officer & Wynvette Younge, Too!!!!!!.
August 29th, 2003 at 10:57 am | Promoted
Don’t FORGET!!!!!!, The 21st Century Vote group, TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
August 29th, 2003 at 11:06 am | Promoted
Also Barbara Lee, Bobby Fischer, H.Rap Brown, Sister Souljah, Lynne Stewart, Paul Schupp, Gil Hill, Sharon MacPhail, Buddy Tyler, Earl Hilliard, Cynthia McKinney, Marcy Kaptur, George Ryan, TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 30th, 2003 at 6:19 pm
My ancestors were Ubangis and I’m proud of it!
August 31st, 2003 at 10:00 am
Wife (Thinking): Hmmm… I wonder if I should hold out until he gets me 4 million dollar rings for ALL of my fingers…
September 1st, 2003 at 12:14 pm | Promoted
Theresa.A.Steinbach, Anthony Travis, Lorraine Popelka, James.O.Bishop, Paulie Esparza, Steven Backman, Doolin & Johnsen, Pamela Cannamore, Al Sharpton, Greg Kolinek, Bill Ayers, Jeanine.L.Stevens, Lynne Stewart, Malik Shabazz, Michael McGhee, Gus Savage, R.Eugene Pincham, Frank Nocita & The Shank Mobb are feeding into my defense fund to stop this racist, zionist Calderone-Serpico-Daley-Vrdolyak conspiracy against me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
September 1st, 2003 at 12:17 pm | Promoted
Plus the Shank Mobb is in the Militant Force against the Calderone-Serpico-Daley-Vrdolyak Reaganite RACISM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
September 1st, 2003 at 8:06 pm | Promoted
You know if Big Momma was here you know what she would say about all this…..
“Lets settle it al over a nice big helpin’ of shrimp gumbo y’all!”
September 6th, 2003 at 10:21 am | Promoted
Bisquitlips? Thats not me!
September 7th, 2003 at 3:00 pm | Promoted
Theresa.A.Steinbach, Al Sampson, Paul Jakes & All my African-American folks are trying our frickin hardest to cut this shyt out about the Daleyland racism of 2 WHAYTE & 1 TACO WHAYTE fo pohlice commisioner, We wont a BROTAH to take OVAH!!!!!!!!, Enough of this Daley-Calderone-Serpico RRRRRACIST BUHSHEEET!!!!!!!!!. WE WOANT JESSAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 9th, 2003 at 1:51 pm | Promoted
Theresa.A.Steinbach-Anthony Travis-Lorraine Popelka-James.O.Bishop-Paulie Esparza-Jeanine.L.Stevens-Kathy.M.Ryan-Robbie Grace-Greg Kolinek-21st Century Vote-Louis Farrakahan-Jessay & I will be at the Top Cop Rally on the South Side of Chicago denouncing the Daleyland racist choices of the 3 superintendent candidates, Also Steinbach, Travis, Popelka, Bishop, Esparza, Stevens, Kathy.M.Ryan, Grace, Kolinek & I will take it a step further & denounce the Calderone-Serpico racist, zionist & elitist regime, Vehemently & Feriociously!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
September 10th, 2003 at 11:52 am | Promoted
We WILL BULLY the DUMB, DUMB DALEY against this Calderone-Serpico Reaganite RACISM of selecting 2 WHAYTE & 1 TACOGREASE POHLICE SUPERINTENDENTS!!!!!!!!!!!; Jessay, Theresa.A.Steinbach, Anthony Travis, James.O.Bishop, Al Sharpton, Al Sampson, Paul Jakes, 21st Century Vote will RALLY furiously & militantly against this RACIST, ZIONIST Mo Fo Shytt!!!!!!!!!!!
September 12th, 2003 at 3:37 pm
what’s with all the stupid racist remarks here? It doesn’t take a black man to be stupid and chaet on his wife anymore than it takes a white man to accuse him of it. knock off all the bullshit losers
September 17th, 2003 at 9:54 am
he swallowed his lips!
September 19th, 2003 at 4:46 pm | Promoted
”...and she kept grunting and making this face…”
September 24th, 2003 at 5:46 am
Rassismus
September 25th, 2003 at 12:54 pm
all of you who are on this site is full of shit. i guess white women must not know how to handle black dick.
September 25th, 2003 at 12:55 pm
all of you who are on this site is full of shit. i guess white women must not know how to handle black dick.
October 1st, 2003 at 1:52 pm | Promoted
Theresa.A.Steinbach & Lorraine Popelka obviously know how to handle a Black dick, LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
October 2nd, 2003 at 9:50 pm | Promoted
Is she looking at me? Is she? Does she look mad?
October 2nd, 2003 at 11:36 pm
After Kobe was ass raped with a dildo by the girl all he could do was just make this dumb face
October 5th, 2003 at 1:59 pm
wooooooooooooooooooooooopp!!!!!!!!!!!!
sorry i didnt mean to follow through
October 9th, 2003 at 11:33 am
KB + TNB – NBA = KB + DOC A proven mathmatical theory???
October 16th, 2003 at 2:46 pm
White bitches always cry rape when they dont’t get what they so want, Her white ass should of never went to the room she got just was she wanted. Dumb white bitch. Kobe is a free man. White Trash
October 17th, 2003 at 1:42 pm | Promoted
This ride is about to get as bumpy as my head
October 20th, 2003 at 12:28 am
Realizing that Forrest was not going to bail him out this time, Bubba has no choice but to bite the bullet.
October 20th, 2003 at 12:34 am | Promoted
I think I should join ANON and go back to Africa where I can die from AIDS.
You know us Blackies dont likes all dese rooles.
October 20th, 2003 at 12:40 am
Hey Kobe! At least you gots some money. My Daddy ANON cant even read much less get a job. But he will blame it on Whitey and keep the food stamps for hisself.
October 25th, 2003 at 1:52 am
Aww man, I screwed up.
October 28th, 2003 at 12:06 pm | Promoted
“I knew i should have stayed home for our anniversary!”
November 13th, 2003 at 2:00 am
“Your honor yes i had consenual sex. But it sorta got outa control when she told me to treat her rough. i choked her firmly & pounded her hard. then she told me to give it to her like she never had it b4. so i got over anxious and i stuck it in her ass.. and she started to cry.
November 16th, 2003 at 12:27 am | Promoted
And then your honor, my wife PUNCHED me right in the MOUTH!!!
December 2nd, 2003 at 10:20 am
There BETTA be a really big diamond waiting for me, suga
April 30th, 2004 at 7:36 pm
Yeah….um….oops?
October 2nd, 2004 at 1:36 pm
ignorance is bliss. we can have fun with this but when are the race issues going to stop. This is not about race this is about money and fame. Those two things can get you off of anything, even being black!
October 29th, 2004 at 11:08 pm
“Jesus, I’ve got fat lips. Looks even worse when I’m pouting like this.”
October 29th, 2004 at 11:19 pm
Hot diggity, I am one badass mofo, sucka! Get yo’ paddy ass down there an’ gimme some head, foo’! Shit, daddy!