Allstate Car Insurance (Check all you wish to be covered for.)
[/] Rear-End
[/] Tire Blow-Outs
[/] Smashed Windshield
[ ] Deer jumping from overpass crushing your vehicle and it’s occupants.
[/] Engine Trouble
D’oh, a deer, a female deer,
Ray, it dropped in from the sun…
Me, I’m mamed, I blame myself,
Far, far far far too much fun…
So, my cuts will need some thread…
La, I’ve hurt my friggin head…
Tee, my SUV is dead…
I’d better crawl right back to…..
D’oh, a deer, a female deer…
Ray, it dropped in from the sun…
Me, I’m mamed, I blame myself,
Far, far far far too much fun…
So, my cuts will need some thread…
La, I’ve hurt my friggin head…
Tee, my SUV is dead…
I’d better crawl right back to…..
After further testing, the new life-sized ram hood ornament was found to be somewhat hazardous due to the obstruction of visibility it created at 65mph.
NHTSA has shown in recent studies that if that deer had been wearing a seatbelt it might not have been thrown through the windshield in that collision. Buck~le up!
What to say when law enforcement arrives: “No sir… I did NOT try to hit that deer. He tried to hit ME! And he did a pretty darn good job of it at that!”
Looks like they got about a mile from the overpass before they had to open all the doors because of the smell. Of the passengers’ crapping their pants.
September 15th, 2003 at 6:02 pm
“I call shotgun!!”
September 11th, 2003 at 2:01 pm
Engulfed in rejection and anger, Rudolph took it upon himself to destroy Santa’s brand new SUV sleigh.
September 5th, 2003 at 8:51 pm
Contrary to popular Christmas mythology, reindeer do not so much fly as plummet
September 15th, 2003 at 5:41 pm
This is why they don’t build overpasses in hippo territory.
September 15th, 2003 at 7:09 pm
Bambi learned the hard way: Mooning hunters while driving was a bad idea.
September 19th, 2003 at 5:46 pm
Just saw Gigli
September 15th, 2003 at 5:51 pm
Olaf always went to extremes in order to drive in the carpool lane.
September 15th, 2003 at 7:31 pm
KFC introduces drive-through venison.
September 15th, 2003 at 7:15 pm
Nearsighted EMT:
“You’re going to be just fine, sir, but I’m afraid your wife didn’t make it.”
September 22nd, 2003 at 4:49 pm
Introducing the all-new Dodge Deerango.
September 5th, 2003 at 9:18 pm
Allstate Car Insurance (Check all you wish to be covered for.)
[/] Rear-End
[/] Tire Blow-Outs
[/] Smashed Windshield
[ ] Deer jumping from overpass crushing your vehicle and it’s occupants.
[/] Engine Trouble
September 6th, 2003 at 10:37 pm
Deer bungee jumping was banned soon after.
September 7th, 2003 at 10:19 pm
Santa and his sled were found in a field nearby.
September 8th, 2003 at 2:16 pm
Man, if I had a buck for every time I hit a deer…
September 25th, 2003 at 3:11 am
The 2003 Dodge Durango….”Grab Life by the ….Holy Shhhh….!”
September 8th, 2003 at 1:32 pm
I can fix that windshield under a buck.
September 7th, 2003 at 12:15 pm
D’oh, a deer, a female deer,
Ray, it dropped in from the sun…
Me, I’m mamed, I blame myself,
Far, far far far too much fun…
So, my cuts will need some thread…
La, I’ve hurt my friggin head…
Tee, my SUV is dead…
I’d better crawl right back to…..
D’oh, a deer, a female deer…
Ray, it dropped in from the sun…
Me, I’m mamed, I blame myself,
Far, far far far too much fun…
So, my cuts will need some thread…
La, I’ve hurt my friggin head…
Tee, my SUV is dead…
I’d better crawl right back to…..
September 6th, 2003 at 12:15 am
ELF strikes again!
September 6th, 2003 at 10:38 pm
Frank thought his day couldn’t get any worse… until he remembered he’d left his lights on too.
September 19th, 2003 at 2:29 pm
After further testing, the new life-sized ram hood ornament was found to be somewhat hazardous due to the obstruction of visibility it created at 65mph.
September 5th, 2003 at 5:21 pm
It seemed that EVERYONE wanted to get a closer look at Bob’s shiny new Durango.
September 18th, 2003 at 5:29 pm
GOOD NEWS!!!! They just saved money by switching to Geico
September 5th, 2003 at 8:48 pm
Well, buck me.
September 6th, 2003 at 3:30 pm
Driver: What the hell was that?
Passenger: No eye deer!
September 8th, 2003 at 7:47 pm
Rudolph’s lesser known brother, Simon, couldn’t take the pressure of having to live up to Rudolph’s celecrity status
September 10th, 2003 at 6:57 am
The Buck Drops here
September 8th, 2003 at 11:27 am
The real Bambi’s live wasn’t as glamorous as Disney presented it.
November 19th, 2003 at 6:32 pm
And that is how the popular Christmas tune, “Reindeer got ran over by a grandma”, came to life…
October 27th, 2004 at 1:02 pm
What part of “dodge” don’t you understand?
September 7th, 2003 at 4:33 am
A nice car, but a little too dear !
October 2nd, 2003 at 9:37 pm
Okay I said it was a Dodge Ram…not Ram the Dodge!
October 2nd, 2003 at 11:26 pm
Deer fought the Jeep and the jeep won.
September 11th, 2003 at 7:08 pm
If only Bob had read the instructions and not installed the animal repelling air whistles backwards…
September 13th, 2003 at 8:15 am
…sometimes you’re a windshield…
…sometimes you’re a bug…
…sometimes you’re a deer trying to get the bug
August 30th, 2004 at 11:54 am
Look! It’s got a DVD, and see how soft the ride is for you & Fluffy!
September 16th, 2003 at 10:43 am
Jim Billy Bob: When I said “throw the deer in the truck” I meant in the back, dufus.
Earl: Oh. sorry.
September 6th, 2003 at 9:45 pm
And people think BEARS are the most dangerous animal in the woods. Shouldn’t have left that bag of deer corn on the passenger’s seat.
September 7th, 2003 at 2:19 am
One deer on the hood beats any number of horses under it.
September 7th, 2003 at 8:49 am
Al-kaida new ultimate strike force, deer-suiciders.
September 9th, 2003 at 5:00 am
Santa’s first tries at updating his vehicle proved rather catastrophic.
September 10th, 2003 at 5:48 pm
Damn it with you John, do really have to collect the whole series?
September 16th, 2003 at 1:34 am
FALLING BUCK AREA
September 19th, 2003 at 5:41 pm
Prancer was so upset the mililtary wouldn’t let him join because he was gay.
September 19th, 2003 at 5:42 pm
The buck didn’t stop here, it just kept running…right off the overpass.
September 30th, 2003 at 12:16 am
“Honey, Im gonna be a little late. I need to stop by Walmart on the way home and pick up a new pair of pants”
October 2nd, 2003 at 9:37 pm
Driver throws in the towel, but the referee doesn’t see it on the door in time to stop the match.
October 3rd, 2003 at 3:19 am
What they needed was a deer-view mirror.
October 21st, 2003 at 9:39 pm
Canada’s Deer diving contest was a success again this year
October 21st, 2003 at 9:06 am
I ordered a deersteak in the drive-through, not an entire deer!
October 17th, 2003 at 6:10 am
It was not until then that the other dears realized it might just be the PCP talking
November 19th, 2003 at 10:01 am
this puts a whole new term to deer crossing
December 5th, 2003 at 8:16 pm
Recent studies have shown conclusively that depression, which is commonplace during the holiday season, also has an effect on Santa’s reindeer.
October 27th, 2004 at 12:59 pm
Rudolf always was attracted to red
September 6th, 2003 at 8:07 pm
“Honk If You Love Deer,” was their bumper sticker.
September 11th, 2003 at 1:17 am
Now those are powerful headlights.
September 5th, 2003 at 11:36 am
Bambi vs. Gaszilla-2003
September 5th, 2003 at 12:57 pm
Bin Laden’s newest recruits begin their first wave of deadly strikes…
September 5th, 2003 at 3:01 pm
Radical Plants’ Rights Activist group – which hates animals AND SUVs – strikes first in Minnesota!
September 6th, 2003 at 12:13 am
Poor deer.
September 7th, 2003 at 1:54 pm
Drew discovered he shouldn’t have used scotch tape to fix his new deer hood ornament to his truck.
September 7th, 2003 at 7:03 pm
Bambi knew he would soon regret those Ballet lessons
September 7th, 2003 at 10:08 pm
This my friends is what you get when an Arkansas hunter runs outta bullets – they improvise
September 8th, 2003 at 7:48 pm
Rudolph’s lesser known brother, Simon, couldn’t take the pressure of having to live up to Rudolph’s celecrity status
September 9th, 2003 at 11:16 pm
The newest and easiest way of hunting.
September 10th, 2003 at 9:24 am
Got a joke for ya whats the last thing that goes through a deers mind when it hits the windshield…………its a55hol3..
September 10th, 2003 at 1:42 pm
dood…..theres my car
September 11th, 2003 at 11:38 am
NHTSA has shown in recent studies that if that deer had been wearing a seatbelt it might not have been thrown through the windshield in that collision. Buck~le up!
September 12th, 2003 at 6:16 pm
Car: “Needs salt.”
September 13th, 2003 at 8:07 am
Question posed by Deer::”Are we there yet”?
September 19th, 2003 at 11:31 am
‘…my bum sticks outte your windshield, my bum sticks outta yer windshield…’
September 23rd, 2003 at 3:14 am
damn! i should’ve jump higher…
September 25th, 2003 at 7:13 pm
Disney never released it’s sequel, “Bambi Two: The Revenge.”
September 26th, 2003 at 11:48 pm
What to say when law enforcement arrives: “No sir… I did NOT try to hit that deer. He tried to hit ME! And he did a pretty darn good job of it at that!”
September 29th, 2003 at 10:29 am
I wonder what the lumpy brown stuff on the roof of the car is…
October 3rd, 2003 at 11:09 am
Although the judges gave him excellent scores on his form, they had to take off a tenth of a point because he didn’t stick the landing.
October 7th, 2003 at 8:54 am
Crap!! Not Again!
October 12th, 2003 at 4:10 am
nada
October 14th, 2003 at 4:54 am
Sadly, Blitzen’s summer job as a crossing guard ends in tragedy.
October 21st, 2003 at 5:48 pm
I DID see him coming…
October 21st, 2003 at 5:48 pm
Damn, these things jump higher than kangaroos…
October 16th, 2003 at 2:14 pm
The theory that reindeer could fly was tragically mistaken.
October 19th, 2003 at 4:39 pm
Oh My God… They Killed Kenny!!!
You Bastards!!!
October 24th, 2003 at 6:55 pm
It wasn’t me!
October 30th, 2003 at 12:53 am
Dear today, windshield tomorrow.
October 30th, 2003 at 12:59 am
Deer today, windshield tomorrow.
November 4th, 2003 at 6:48 pm
Horrivel e dramatico!!!!!!!!!
November 19th, 2003 at 10:00 am
this puts a whole new term to deer crossing
November 23rd, 2003 at 6:47 am
And you thought there was no Santa! Scoot over you are on my damn new suit! $500.00 shot to hell what is the world coming too?
November 30th, 2003 at 3:25 am
“If I’m going down I’m taking you with me!!!”
December 3rd, 2003 at 11:01 am
Binladen’s new suicidal deer.
December 3rd, 2003 at 11:05 am
Driver sues Santa for a hit and run.
December 3rd, 2003 at 11:15 am
Damn deer mating season
December 3rd, 2003 at 11:20 am
New Road Kill Grill Restaurant
December 3rd, 2003 at 11:21 am
New Road Kill Grill Restaurant
December 6th, 2003 at 7:25 pm
Rumours at why Rudolph’s nose was always so red were finally confirmed today.
Ironic, some would say on the day he’d just signed a two year ‘image rights’deal with Budweiser…
December 7th, 2003 at 1:10 pm
This is what happens when a deer tries to mate with a car
December 14th, 2003 at 12:51 pm
Tired of playing ninth fiddle to Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, and Donner; Blitzen commits suicide…
October 30th, 2004 at 1:06 am
sucide bombers from the north pole
February 17th, 2004 at 11:13 am
HEy theres a bad move on the right
June 17th, 2004 at 9:05 am
hey fellas got a smoke
July 9th, 2004 at 1:48 am
Thats why they call me Thumper!
August 11th, 2004 at 10:53 pm
When the deer start hunting back…
August 25th, 2004 at 7:37 am
Billy Bob just could not wait to display his new prize.
August 25th, 2004 at 7:38 am
Does this truck make my thighs look big?
August 30th, 2004 at 12:35 pm
Key witness in Santa deer rape case found dead, police rule out murder.
October 6th, 2005 at 2:47 am
SImpson!,
Homer simpson!
He’s the greatest guy in historyyyyyy
from the …town of springfield he’s about to hit a poor bamiiii………
WAAAAA!…….Thump!……
D’OE!
October 9th, 2005 at 12:35 am
When deer jump
October 23rd, 2005 at 6:04 pm
Picking up deer deer hitchikers are a bad thing.
October 23rd, 2005 at 6:08 pm
“im running, I’m running, I’m jumping…..OHHHHH SHHHH!
October 30th, 2007 at 6:49 am
Jack…
Keep up the good work!…
January 26th, 2008 at 7:12 am
After 3 films, an oscar, and twice grand national winner. Bambi thought himself invicible… My Ass
September 5th, 2003 at 4:41 pm
North Pole Tragedy: Blitzen got a little too ‘blitzed’ on Christmas Eve and made a wrong turn….
September 5th, 2003 at 8:49 pm
“Dammit, I thought this was supposed to be a Dodge Durango…!”
September 5th, 2003 at 9:09 pm
Here comes Santa Claus
Here comes Santa Clau……SMACK!
September 6th, 2003 at 12:17 am
Speed Bump. Fosters, Australian for BEER!
September 6th, 2003 at 4:20 am
Could’ve been worse. Could’ve been a suicidal Marlon Brando.
September 6th, 2003 at 9:50 am
“Honey, It’s raining Jack-a-Lope’s AGAIN!”
September 6th, 2003 at 9:54 am
How not to “Dodge” a deer!
September 6th, 2003 at 8:20 pm
Deer in the window says “Lonely.”
September 6th, 2003 at 10:28 pm
ITS COMING RIGHT FOR US!
September 6th, 2003 at 10:42 pm
Deer: “GeronimOOOH CRAP!”
September 6th, 2003 at 11:34 pm
John hits Deere……
The rest is history.
September 7th, 2003 at 2:05 am
“First a mountain biker, and now this! That’s it, next year we’re taking a cruise.” (Next year, a sperm whale hits the deck.)
September 7th, 2003 at 2:12 am
o/~ My car got run over by a reindeer… o/~
September 7th, 2003 at 2:25 am
Looks like they got about a mile from the overpass before they had to open all the doors because of the smell. Of the passengers’ crapping their pants.
September 7th, 2003 at 4:29 am
This car is too dear ….
September 7th, 2003 at 7:05 pm
Bambi knew he would soon regret those ballet lessons
September 7th, 2003 at 7:44 pm
“Hey Man,can’t ya use a gun or bow like everybody else?”
September 10th, 2003 at 4:51 pm
that dear got hit by that car
September 17th, 2003 at 10:39 pm
Why women, deer, and SUVs don’t mix.
September 22nd, 2003 at 11:48 am
Look it’s like the 9/11
December 6th, 2003 at 1:24 pm
THAT’LLteach ya ta stop at those wildlife crossings!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 5th, 2003 at 7:32 pm
DOUG!
September 14th, 2003 at 12:55 pm
Dodges aren’t really, RAM tough!
September 5th, 2003 at 8:46 pm
To quote the Simpsons:
“D’OH!”
“A deer!”
“A female deer!”
September 6th, 2003 at 8:09 pm
It’s a Dodge “Ram,” not a Dodge “Deer.”
September 6th, 2003 at 12:14 am
CPC-850