Single Entry

Like this will hurt me

This big tobacco exec tries to prove that even in mass quantities, cigarettes still don’t cause cancer.

163

115 Captions to 'Like this will hurt me'

Listed in order of rank.
  1. jwd says:

    October 9th, 2003 at 12:01 pm

    A suicide smoker prepares for yet another second-hand smoke attack somewhere in the Middle East.

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  2. Asta La Vista Gray-D says:

    October 11th, 2003 at 5:57 pm

    That must have been some sex the guy had

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  3. Jill says:

    October 10th, 2003 at 2:49 pm

    If smoking one cigarette is cool, imagine how cool this guy must be.

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  4. Therus says:

    October 13th, 2003 at 7:56 pm

    Habib got only on smoke break a month.

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  5. Les says:

    October 11th, 2003 at 4:33 am

    Gotta smoke ‘em all..Smokeymon!

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  6. Gentaur says:

    October 10th, 2003 at 2:42 am

    Later, he would get a job filling potholes with his phlegm.

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  7. NOTBOB says:

    October 20th, 2003 at 12:18 am

    “You don’t even know what I had to do in prison to get these.”

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  8. Professor Kaos says:

    October 9th, 2003 at 4:38 pm

    the REAL Marlboro man

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  9. mrdav76 says:

    October 15th, 2003 at 3:38 am

    Earl was determined that this year he would indeed be awarded the coveted ‘Darwin Award’.

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  10. (pdw) says:

    October 10th, 2003 at 4:57 am

    Denis Leary’s stagehand.

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  11. Pat says:

    October 16th, 2003 at 8:16 am

    After waking from a coma after 6 years, Tom decided he had to make up for lost time.

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  12. TCMSoccer says:

    October 9th, 2003 at 3:07 pm

    The doctor said only one a day.

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  13. jwd says:

    October 14th, 2003 at 11:49 pm

    His dead buddy tried this with his cap facing forward.

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  14. None of your f**king business. says:

    March 24th, 2004 at 3:26 pm

    5 minutes later Habib was ironically hit by a van carrying donor lnugs for transplant.

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  15. phos says:

    October 9th, 2003 at 1:17 pm

    at least he’s not doing any drugs

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  16. Ziggy says:

    October 21st, 2003 at 9:35 pm

    How a Cub’s fan will spend the winter.

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  17. Professor Kaos says:

    October 9th, 2003 at 4:37 pm

    cancar research on the fast track

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  18. Larry Reese says:

    October 10th, 2003 at 1:03 am

    New Phillip Morris employees being broken in.

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  19. Les says:

    October 11th, 2003 at 4:31 am

    Normally I’d say smoke ‘em if you got ‘em and it seems he has ‘em all!

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  20. Fat Seanny says:

    October 12th, 2003 at 2:53 pm

    Nobody seems to be questioning whether he is blowing out or sucking in.

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  21. mb says:

    October 15th, 2003 at 2:20 am

    And the local idiot proved to the villagers once again why he is the local idiot.

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  22. Gentaur says:

    October 15th, 2003 at 3:13 am

    Jack won the bet that he could come up with a worse musical instrument than the bagpipes.

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  23. Mascot says:

    October 16th, 2003 at 4:15 pm

    Here at Bubba’s smoke house if you can finish our 5 pound smoked roundhouse the cancer is on us and you get a free t-shirt that says, “I smoked a full roundhouse at Bubba’s”

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  24. you know it says:

    October 26th, 2003 at 5:31 am

    Next time on Jackass….

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  25. some dude says:

    October 25th, 2003 at 5:54 am

    Canadian Roulette - since we don’t have any guns at our convenience stores, cigarettes seem like the next best thing

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  26. Raymondo says:

    November 22nd, 2003 at 5:14 am

    I only need three more of these and I’ve got enough coupons for a pop-up toaster.

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  27. ben lewis says:

    December 28th, 2003 at 7:47 pm

    the joke “fire cracker smokes” had gone to far this time

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  28. Owen Lucas says:

    March 23rd, 2004 at 1:49 pm

    What’s that old joke?

    “Why the cigarette holder?”

    “My doctor told me to stay away from cigarettes.”

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  29. Go Go Girl says:

    August 11th, 2004 at 10:40 pm

    Eat your heart out Morton Downey Jr.!

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  30. Kagetto says:

    October 10th, 2003 at 1:48 am

    The secret here is to not inhale.

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  31. s.chandler says:

    October 10th, 2003 at 8:20 am

    This is a califorian’s brain after years of smog and 1 too many tofu flax seed burgers.Any questions?

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  32. austinima says:

    October 16th, 2003 at 8:11 am

    mmmmm smells like lung cancer!

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  33. Fat Seanny says:

    October 12th, 2003 at 2:57 pm

    With such a far gone addiction and cigarettes costing four buck a pack, this dude is gonna be in the gutter in no time.

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  34. Flynny says:

    October 21st, 2003 at 5:43 pm

    99 packets of cigies on the wall…

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  35. Mascot says:

    October 14th, 2003 at 4:46 pm

    You’ve heard of walking pneumonia…here we have “walking cancer”.

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  36. easty says:

    October 21st, 2003 at 11:29 am

    what a fag

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  37. resisobilus says:

    October 20th, 2003 at 10:19 pm

    RJR’s new reality/game show - Cancer Survivor. Here Rafe of the Benson tribe beats Trudy of the Hedges tribe and moves to the top of the donor list.

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  38. Mark says:

    October 16th, 2003 at 6:31 pm

    “Here ya go Johnny, Smoke Up!”

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  39. Cary says:

    October 17th, 2003 at 4:05 pm

    Christ, will this ballgame ever END?

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  40. some guy says:

    October 22nd, 2003 at 6:42 am

    After finding out that his girlfriend was pregnant, John opted for a cheap vasectomy to prevent that accident from ever happening again…his efforts were wasted, because little did he know she was doing the same thing at home.

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  41. Bob Dylan says:

    October 20th, 2003 at 11:16 am

    You’re gonna have to second hand smoke somebody. Yes indeed, you’re gonna have to second hand smoke somebody. Well it may be the devil, or it may be the Lord, you’re still gonna have to second hand smoke somebody.

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  42. ruff1949 says:

    October 19th, 2003 at 12:36 am

    The Marlboro man’s first smoke after waking from a coma

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  43. k says:

    October 24th, 2003 at 7:06 pm

    “Hey kids, don’t do drugs.”

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  44. Mondo says:

    October 25th, 2003 at 5:41 am

    Shove this in your pipe and smoke it!

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  45. mr.man says:

    October 25th, 2003 at 5:51 am

    A real man would have smoked them without the filters!

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  46. Brad says:

    October 27th, 2003 at 8:34 pm

    Man, I wanted the ones without the filters

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  47. brian says:

    November 12th, 2003 at 8:53 pm

    there lights, what can i say..

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  48. Kramer says:

    November 17th, 2003 at 3:07 am

    “I only smoke when I drink.”

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  49. tim loveridge says:

    November 21st, 2003 at 3:31 am

    no matter if your black or white.iam both white boy black lungs

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  50. Nick says:

    November 23rd, 2003 at 7:59 pm

    anyone got a light?

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  51. Jeff says:

    December 8th, 2003 at 12:17 pm

    “Weekly foreign immigrant initiation ceremonies held in Winston Salem, NC.

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  52. caitlin says:

    January 2nd, 2004 at 9:04 pm

    Anyone got a light?

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  53. prplmunkii says:

    March 4th, 2004 at 2:57 pm

    Shane wanted so badly to be on a Truth commercial he decided to give it one last shot…

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  54. mark says:

    August 3rd, 2004 at 7:18 pm

    Factory chimney??Bwah !! I know I can do better than that !

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  55. Sam Reavill says:

    September 7th, 2005 at 5:39 am

    Habib had to prove to customs that he could consume 8000 cigs a year!

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  56. wynter says:

    November 4th, 2003 at 1:43 am

    Suck Me

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  57. mark says:

    October 23rd, 2003 at 11:06 am

    “just one more puff and I am gone”

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  58. mangoze says:

    October 9th, 2003 at 11:34 am

    Modern day smoke signal

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  59. filkertom says:

    October 9th, 2003 at 7:05 pm

    Gonna make an ash of himself

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  60. filkertom says:

    October 9th, 2003 at 7:06 pm

    Wait till you see the smoke ring

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  61. filkertom says:

    October 9th, 2003 at 7:09 pm

    The Tongue Piercing From Hell

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  62. aeshel says:

    October 9th, 2003 at 9:51 pm

    hell on smokers!!!!!!!!!!!

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  63. one says:

    October 9th, 2003 at 10:51 pm

    Pack a day? HA!

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  64. Gentaur says:

    October 10th, 2003 at 2:35 am

    And of course, he won’t offer one to anyone else.

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  65. BatCountry says:

    October 10th, 2003 at 2:42 pm

    The no smoking rule in NYC is really crowding the streets on Saturday nights.

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  66. MarbleburoughMan says:

    October 10th, 2003 at 9:07 pm

    This is what you do when you can’t find the candles for the birthday cake.

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  67. Sean Church says:

    October 21st, 2003 at 9:35 pm

    Phillip Morris realizing there was not a marketin the U.S. begins there campain in other countries

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  68. Gentaur says:

    October 12th, 2003 at 2:34 am

    You’ve got to kiss a lot of butts to be a tobacco company executive.

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  69. Fat Seanny says:

    October 12th, 2003 at 2:50 pm

    In your face Dad!

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  70. Fat Seanny says:

    October 12th, 2003 at 2:51 pm

    This guy will do anything to get his job back a Phillip Morris.

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  71. Fat Seanny says:

    October 12th, 2003 at 2:53 pm

    “I didn’t inhale.”

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  72. the_brick says:

    October 12th, 2003 at 3:35 pm

    “Too bad I have to smoke em through this massive filter”

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  73. smoker says:

    October 22nd, 2003 at 11:57 pm

    Camel’s method of hazing its newcomers

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  74. thewheresmycardude says:

    October 13th, 2003 at 10:17 am

    That guy really sucks.

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  75. Therus says:

    October 13th, 2003 at 7:52 pm

    Stop! Smoking cause lung cancer.

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  76. Hektor says:

    October 21st, 2003 at 5:41 pm

    Damnit Man, Pass the friggin joint around!!

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  77. Mascot says:

    October 16th, 2003 at 4:14 pm

    Carrying the “butt of all jokes” thing a tad bit too far.

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  78. Nik says:

    October 15th, 2003 at 12:01 pm

    After one drag, Joe Camel could go without cigarettes for months.

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  79. aseaton says:

    October 16th, 2003 at 12:21 am

    for many, the dream of being the next joe camel came at too high of a cost

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  80. aseaton says:

    October 16th, 2003 at 12:18 am

    college rush week is so fun.

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  81. Gentaur says:

    October 20th, 2003 at 2:24 am

    The Wheel of Misfortune.

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  82. Pixie killer says:

    November 15th, 2003 at 1:00 pm

    I know what you’re thinking, am I blowing or sucking in? Watch closely as I do it again!

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  83. some dude says:

    October 25th, 2003 at 5:52 am

    Whatever it takes to make your balls look smaller than your cock

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  84. curmugion says:

    November 5th, 2003 at 4:34 pm

    Ladies and Gentlemen, your 2004 North Carolina Department of Agriculture Posterboy!!!!

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  85. taz says:

    November 12th, 2003 at 11:30 am

    all in a days work. got a match i need to to get this lit

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  86. Jamin says:

    November 21st, 2003 at 2:14 am

    “Everything went well until he realized that someone poured gas on the cigarettes…”

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  87. jcw says:

    November 23rd, 2003 at 6:44 am

    Some fools never learn. Another one of those damn video tapes from Osama!

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  88. Lawrence says:

    November 25th, 2003 at 8:07 pm

    Who cares about the cigarettes, what happened to this guys eyebrows….

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  89. Ben Irons says:

    December 16th, 2003 at 10:34 pm

    Shane Warne at it again!!!

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  90. DEEZ NUTS says:

    December 3rd, 2003 at 11:37 am

    Competition to see who can get cancer the quickest

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  91. DEEZ NUTS says:

    December 3rd, 2003 at 11:39 am

    I’d love to see the ashtray he uses.

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  92. manicuklawyer says:

    December 6th, 2003 at 7:15 pm

    In a vain attempt to stave off the electric chair, Ali “Black lung” Habib indeed got his last request…

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  93. Sean McMills says:

    January 9th, 2004 at 1:24 pm

    I’ve been stupid in the past too and have tried to break an equally ridiculous record, but for me it was with girls… :^)

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  94. EvilBalrog says:

    December 14th, 2003 at 12:39 pm

    I laugh in the face of Lung Cancer!

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  95. ha says:

    December 14th, 2003 at 1:45 pm

    I GET HIGH FAST!!!

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  96. Veronica says:

    December 30th, 2003 at 11:40 am

    STOP THE MADNESS!!!!

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  97. Perry Mcdaniel says:

    December 30th, 2003 at 12:43 pm

    Dammit, I taste a Lucky Strike in here. Do you want me to get cancer or something??

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  98. bob says:

    January 2nd, 2004 at 9:08 pm

    Desperation after getting off “the patch.”

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  99. Abdul says:

    January 9th, 2004 at 11:31 pm

    Put a nipple on it, and Habib will suck anything.

    F’kn idiot!

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  100. ants says:

    January 13th, 2004 at 10:26 am

    in uther breaking news man trays to break world speed record for receving the black lung!

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  101. the doctor says:

    February 11th, 2004 at 9:29 pm

    C’mon baby light my fire, c’mon baby light my fire… try to set the night on fire.

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  102. Protcor Sucks says:

    February 11th, 2004 at 9:31 pm

    For the ladies, dont smoke.

    And remember to…

    MAKE IT A PROCTOR!

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  103. prplmunkii says:

    March 4th, 2004 at 2:49 pm

    Truth hurts.

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  104. Akuta says:

    May 16th, 2004 at 11:49 pm

    3 Cartons of Cigarettes: 60 Dollars

    Lighter Fluid: 10 Dollars

    Paper: 1 Dollar a package

    Giving the Terrorists in the Middle East Lung Cancer: Priceless

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  105. Chad says:

    August 25th, 2004 at 7:26 am

    …and you thought your job was a drag.

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  106. Michael says:

    January 14th, 2005 at 11:41 am

    Dude, when it says ’smoking can kill’ on the packet they don’t mean it as a challenge.

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  107. Ali says:

    April 9th, 2005 at 6:24 pm

    Smoker : Can you confirm that these are lights ?

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  108. tim fortune says:

    August 8th, 2005 at 1:57 pm

    my brother and his usual lunchtime cigarette break.

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  109. brass monkey says:

    September 5th, 2005 at 12:46 am

    Pure idiocy.

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  110. David Turner says:

    June 19th, 2007 at 10:01 pm

    SMOOTH AND MENTHOLY.

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  111. Tim Fortune says:

    December 6th, 2007 at 3:10 pm

    Can I get a light over here Ingrid Albracht?

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  112. Tim Fortune #1 says:

    December 6th, 2007 at 3:13 pm

    Shay Marson sure likes to smoke…. and I mean A LOT!!!! so does Dan Keim!!

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  113. Ingrid A. says:

    December 6th, 2007 at 3:18 pm

    Tim likes to get his bernie on

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  114. Gentaur says:

    October 22nd, 2003 at 2:29 am

    This will stunt his growth all at once.

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  115. Mark Buelar says:

    November 19th, 2003 at 9:22 am

    moments later this man’s lungs were as black as a Sudan newborn. Days later he died of lunger cancer

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