Clearly, Willy Wonka hasn’t learned from the last time he tried to package a complete meal in a single package. Somebody tell the Oompa-Loompas to prepare the cranberry squeezer.
No hennessy or alize left so I figured what the heezy,ima mix me up some tricked up ghetto version from them grazy gravy thangs and this what I’z came up with.This shit guaranteed to knock ya lights out
billy jones was so excited, his first high school party. he wondered if his dads famous beverage would go down well with the cool kids. hmmm better take the “broken glass” cocktail just to be safe.
FDA WARNING: The lastest date-rape drug comes in the form of a turkey & gravy soda loaded with tryptophan. Second-hand belch vapors have been known to put diners at adjacent tables to sleep.
… and the low calorie version, especially popular at Broadway shows, is also good as a basin, tub, & tile cleanser. “Trip the Light Fantastic with TryptoFantastik Lite!”
Thank you! I’m here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitress.
March 25th, 2004 at 12:43 pm
And it makes one hell of an ice-cream float!
December 2nd, 2003 at 1:18 am
“…[burp]…oh man, I am so basted.”
March 25th, 2004 at 12:46 pm
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
May 1st, 2004 at 8:11 am
Jones Soda Co.
Can you believe it’s not crap?
December 1st, 2003 at 7:02 pm
“Tastes great!” “Less stuffing!“
December 2nd, 2003 at 10:03 am
It took a whole lot of jerky, to get this much liquid turkey!
December 3rd, 2003 at 12:18 am
Clearly, Willy Wonka hasn’t learned from the last time he tried to package a complete meal in a single package. Somebody tell the Oompa-Loompas to prepare the cranberry squeezer.
December 6th, 2003 at 7:03 pm
Those boys at the urology testing lab really did go to extra special lengths…
March 25th, 2004 at 12:44 pm
Does this come in diet?
April 30th, 2004 at 9:16 pm
mmm mmm… not good
December 14th, 2003 at 7:16 am
“hey sue do you want the pumpkin juice or the tukey tea?”
December 14th, 2003 at 5:24 pm
Now with 50% more mashed potatoes!
January 2nd, 2004 at 9:12 pm
wanna go grab a bottle of turkey?
February 21st, 2004 at 2:59 pm
Now with or without pulp!
April 15th, 2004 at 9:40 pm
Im sorry, but it looks like bottled barf
November 7th, 2004 at 3:47 pm
The top pops up when it’s aged to perfection.
January 3rd, 2005 at 10:51 pm
It’s NEW Stroke in a bottle!
December 2nd, 2003 at 1:17 am
With 10% Real Gravy for that Fresh-Squeezed Turkey Taste!
December 2nd, 2003 at 3:18 am
I’ll wait for the pumpkin pie soda.
December 2nd, 2003 at 4:46 am
What?, no fizzy lard?
December 2nd, 2003 at 9:49 am
Thanksgiving Dinner for the man who can’t chew and watch football at the same time!
December 2nd, 2003 at 7:36 pm
From the creators of “I can’t believe it’s not butter!” comes the latest revolution in products, “I can’t believe it’s not turkey!”
December 3rd, 2003 at 1:37 pm
Hey, this doesn’t taste like turkey! Ewwwwwww.
December 7th, 2003 at 3:30 am
After this, you’ll need a bicarbonated beverage.
December 15th, 2003 at 8:54 pm
Now with hunks of real Turkey Skin!
December 9th, 2003 at 10:40 am
The newest scourge of the atkins camp. Carbs in a bottle.
December 18th, 2003 at 5:47 am
Thanksgiving at the old folks home….
‘One straw per person’
January 9th, 2004 at 11:10 pm
In other dimensions, Alcohol Prohibition was a great success.
January 29th, 2004 at 3:19 pm
No hennessy or alize left so I figured what the heezy,ima mix me up some tricked up ghetto version from them grazy gravy thangs and this what I’z came up with.This shit guaranteed to knock ya lights out
February 16th, 2004 at 3:25 pm
New Butterball-In-A-Bottle!
March 19th, 2004 at 2:06 am
Do you think it comes in deep-fried turkey flavor?
March 20th, 2004 at 2:32 am
Annnnndd they’re recyclable!!
March 23rd, 2004 at 1:33 pm
And people wonder why Coca Cola dominates the market.
March 24th, 2004 at 3:57 pm
MMMMMMMMM,…..liquidized turkey.
October 30th, 2004 at 2:58 pm
Also try our Salmon Soda.
November 7th, 2004 at 3:15 pm
billy jones was so excited, his first high school party. he wondered if his dads famous beverage would go down well with the cool kids. hmmm better take the “broken glass” cocktail just to be safe.
December 1st, 2003 at 6:44 pm
FDA WARNING: The lastest date-rape drug comes in the form of a turkey & gravy soda loaded with tryptophan. Second-hand belch vapors have been known to put diners at adjacent tables to sleep.
December 1st, 2003 at 7:03 pm
“… Marge, I simply can’t understand why this and Beet Beer aren’t selling better….”
December 1st, 2003 at 7:08 pm
… and the low calorie version, especially popular at Broadway shows, is also good as a basin, tub, & tile cleanser. “Trip the Light Fantastic with TryptoFantastik Lite!”
Thank you! I’m here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitress.
December 2nd, 2003 at 5:17 pm
The end result of leaving a turkey in the microwave for 2 hours.
December 2nd, 2003 at 5:17 pm
And its VEGAN! Though it is gross.
December 2nd, 2003 at 6:08 pm
grandpa found a simple, yet profitable way to get rid of yapping grandma.
December 3rd, 2003 at 8:57 am
This drink not only has a genuine turkey taste, it also only has 300 calories per bottle.