Cannonball

71

I’m not sure what these two are diving for, but I hope it’s either diet pills or a towel.

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138 Captions for “Cannonball”

  1. peter

    Back off, half-pint. That Baby-Ruth is MINE!

  2. __earth

    Dad, can you flatten that guy?

  3. Anonymous

    So, my boy. What is it like to go swimming with your priest?

  4. john schmidt

    No one could understand what was happening to Tommy’s twin brother until they realized that he had stuck the water hose that was filling up the pool up his ass!

  5. tatroyer

    Before George “The Animal” Steele started wrestling, he used to race local kids for their milk money.

  6. spat

    OK, you’re on.
    Let’s see who makes the biggest splash.

  7. Andy

    “Swimming in milk builds strong teeth and bones, my boy.”

  8. (pdw)

    Kid: Oh come on, uncle Louie, stagediving is so much fun!
    Man: But that guy over there is wearing a German helmet!

  9. DK

    get out of the way! he’s gonna fall! save yourselves!

  10. DK

    “it’s ok! he’s not naked! his gut is covering the thong!”

  11. spat

    Come on uncle Marvin, don’t be afraid, it’s not deep, it’s only the children’s pool. Just do as I do. I’ll start with a simple summersault.

  12. Logan

    At the local backwoods fair, Johnny Bob Joe Smith, the undisputed donut diver 12 years running, shows his nephew, Johnny Joe Bob Smith, the correct stance to take before diving into the jelly filled donut pool.

  13. Roadcrew

    “Wait…I have to do my cannonball first. You remember what happened last time you went first don’t you? It took them 6 hours to refill the pool!”

  14. WhirlWind

    Ever wonder what happened to Mark Spitz?
    Now you know…and probably wish you didn’t.

  15. Mortius

    Son: Dad when I grow up I’ll I retain as much fluids as you?

    Dad: I sure hope not, I just retained the whole damn pool.

  16. Alex Kaseberg

    After the resultant title wave swept little Jimmy out of the pool, luckily, he was able to ride Uncle Louie’s hairpiece to safety.

  17. Drake

    Frankensteins creature soon adapted to normal life and began a carreer as swimming teacher.

  18. phknuts

    Dad, do you think they’ll be mad at us for shitting in the sauna?

  19. Calibur Click

    Boy: Dad, if I’ve told you once I’ve told you a thousand times : Don’t drink and dive!

  20. JWD

    After the steroids scandal, former baseball star Ken Caminiti took up swimming.

  21. Jimmy Flowers

    A publicity still from Free Willy III…”A young boy helps an obese man learn to bathe in this feel good film of the year!”

  22. Anonymous

    Igor had second thoughts about signing up for the YMCA junior swimming class.

  23. Anonymous

    OK kid… first one to the bottom wins!

  24. Drake

    Frankenstein’s monster soon adapted to normal life and made career as a swimming teacher.

  25. ballentjes in tomatensaus

    The German experiment to create identical twin superhumans went horribly wrong.

  26. psycho_nole

    No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.

  27. Alex Kaseberg

    Father Pagano yells; “Last Choirboy in the tub of wesson oil is a rotten egg.”

  28. nar

    the incredible hulk always got angry before childhood swim meets. it helped, somehow.

  29. Boosta

    In a rare public appearance earlier today, Marlon Brando assisted mentally retarded youngsters with synchronized swimming lessons.

  30. Anonymous

    “Er… son? I can’t straighten up…”

  31. FR

    Igor hesitated for a moment. Would he first jump and then eat the boy; or would he first eat the boy and then jump?

  32. Jim EAPG

    How Tommy captured the sideways speed swimming world record.

  33. M. Simmons

    If my titties hit me in the chin and knock me out when we hit the water, you’ll save me, won’t you?

  34. Duh

    Little jimmy didn’t realize the futility
    of racing the human blob to the hot dog that they had dropped to the bottom of the pool, weather or not jimmy beat the blob to the bottom the blob would still eat.

  35. Anonymous

    Little jimmy didn’t realize the futility
    of racing the human blob to the hot dog that they had dropped to the bottom of the pool, weather or not jimmy beat the blob to the bottom the blob would still eat.

  36. Anonymous

    Do these trunks make me look fat?…………… WHAT TRUNKS?????????

  37. maxfli

    Damn, my navel is stuck to my thigh again.

  38. mjl

    Thongs for the mammaries!

  39. mjl

    Thongs for the mammaries!

  40. Mick

    Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon passes submersion test for leaks.

  41. Anonymous

    The day splashing became fine art

  42. Jim H

    Just when you thought it was safe to back into the water.

  43. Anonymous

    Get in my belly!

  44. mark

    ki: “hold your own match. i’m outta here!”

  45. Trotter

    Humptey Dumpty swims for a medal at the Junior Olympics

  46. Joe M.

    Thats one small step for a little boy and one giant leap for someone who ate all of mankind.

  47. SamIAm

    You may be lucky, wee man , but THIS cannonball contest is MINE!!

  48. cheri

    Day three of the Olympic Cannonball finals.

  49. Walt Jay

    Hello, Marvel Comics? Here’s your next big superhero franchise! CAPTAIN BEACHBALLĂ´, the human inflatable sphere-like object, dives into his next disturbing adventure with his trusty (but temporary) sidekick, EXPENDABLE LADĂ´!

  50. matt

    This will be REALLY fun when they fill the pool up this summer!

  51. Bill E.

    “I’d like a small fry with a large potato, hold the salt.”

  52. st miek

    It would jimmy’s first and last diving lesson. By the time he’d reach the bottom of the pool, there was no water left to cushion his fall.

  53. JIM THOMPSON

    Testing Issac Newton’s law of gravity.

  54. yannibear

    Okay Billy Bob. Pull out the hose,this one is filled. NEXT!

  55. Hoggrider5150

    Little Billy would have won the race, except for the monstrous fart Thag released, therefore propelling him at mach 5 across the pool in record time.

  56. David S.

    Britney narrows her choices to decide who replaces Justin.

  57. Buck Tipton

    “Golly Mr. Presley, we’ve gotta catch those mean drug lords before they swim away!”

  58. Joanna

    Are you sure gravity will just take me down?

  59. rozafa

    A ta merr mendja sa kg. i ka

  60. Rob

    Gee, I hope he’s not planning to do a cannonball…

  61. rozafa

    A at merr mendja sa kg i ka

  62. Rob

    Well, the so-called “Subway Diet” didn’t work, maybe i should try some laps at the pool….

  63. kwdaley

    Is that a baby? Can I have my baby back, baby back, baby back ribs?

  64. Dano

    Hello, My name is Lumpy Anhow and I’m a flop-a-holic.

  65. Dano

    Hello, My name is Lumpy Anhow…and I’m a flop-a-holic

  66. dave c

    But Vincent, you are my brother!!!

  67. BoMoFo

    Their future in Olympic synchronized swimming has been jeopardized ever since they opened up the doughnut shop next to George’s house.

  68. Shadrack

    You go first kid. They have to refill the pool after I go.

  69. Jeff Chastain

    You can’t BOTH fit in the pool!

  70. Kevin S.

    Shrek…The Early Years.

  71. Donald Hatcher

    Little one better dive quick or he’ll be eating concrete!

  72. Jeff B

    Stand up toilets in a preliminary “one size fits all” test, circa 1950.

  73. Capitol one visakamaksi zombiestomp

    “hey little man … before you jump in I have an itch on my back … could you scratch it for me?”

  74. Anonymous

    fat bastard waits patiently to fool the small child into jumping into the broth.

  75. JB

    Good ol’ Catholic Bible Camp.

  76. Jimmy the Fish

    Remember, like, when we were in Grade 2, and, like that bee stung me, and I got, like, all swollen and shit, and, like, i almost died?

  77. Jimmy the Fish

    US Army Auditions for Fat Man and Little Boy, Jaunary 1944

    Next! OK, Einstein, you’re up!

  78. plex

    Quick Junior, grab your mom’s harness before she goes under.

  79. Sawyer

    Mom,
    Having a wonderful time in Wisconsin. Wish you were here.
    – Tommy

  80. mae

    So distracted by the man’s fat, the boy didn’t realize he was about to dive into an empty pool

  81. Rachael

    Unfortunately, mommy wasn’t able to catch both of them.

  82. tps

    Don’t be afraid swimming is just like Sumo wrestling..

  83. rivercardz

    “Step back!” cried little Timmy, “That Great White sure looks hungry!”

  84. Andrew

    Look out! He’s thirsty.

  85. Jeff

    Hey kid, why are those environmentalists banging on pipes out there?

  86. Anonymous

    “I’m bigger than you, stronger than you, and I will ALWAYS beat you” -Mommie Dearest

  87. HoJo

    The steroid problem in middle schools is way out of control!!!!

  88. Anonymous

    Hey, isn’t that my old boss?

  89. Maxx

    Moments later, Twister got ugly.

  90. Aerith

    There were originally 15 competitors in the 100 metre freestyle, but 13 of them disappeared mysteriously over night, and it seemed the race had become one sided.

  91. Zooka

    The only two looks Michael Jackson’s plastic surgeon hasn’t tried yet.

  92. 8675309

    Pam Anderson and Britney Spears before the big music execs tinkered with their images to increase profits.

  93. Ianne

    Look! They’re having a liposuction! Geez, doesn’t that look jolly?

  94. George S

    Ask the chef to garnish the whale with sardines, please.

  95. jo

    Hey you there in the pool, do you think this bathing suit makes me look fat?

  96. benwood

    Just don’t belly-flop, kid, or you’ll swell up like I did!

  97. Ozzmann

    Tim calmly explains to Ogre the proper stance for a good cornholin’

  98. Len Patterson

    “So, you see kid I was right.It was’nt a Baby Ruth Candy bar floatin around in there after all! Sheez!

  99. Lenny

    “I promise not to eat you little one as I swim to the other side with you on my head”

  100. Todd Hunt

    Its a no win situation for Tommy, if he dives last, no water left in pool, if he dives first he will be swept across the Pacific

  101. james h

    3 words: sumo synchronized swimming

  102. josh

    I’M NOT FAT I’M JUST BIG BONED!!!!!!!!!!!

  103. Texas Tommy

    The reason the West Virginia Dad goes to gym class with his son is they are both in third grade.

  104. Mike

    Little Johnny knew he could win tha swim race against Uncle Jason. However, when the gun went off and Johnny jumped into the air, Jason promptly barfed in the pool.

  105. shirley

    INSIDE THIS FAT BODY IS A THIN MAN CRYING TO GET OUT. I ATE HIM!

  106. shirley

    INSIDE MY FAT BODY IS A THIN MAN CRYING TO GET OUT. I ATE HIM!

  107. Bman

    I am the Hulk’s brother, Bulk.

  108. JBob

    So Johnny, do you like movies about gladiators?

  109. Andrew

    Ialove Pork (right) was yesterday arrested on four counts of alleged cannabilism.

  110. drewboy

    Daddy I have to jump in first this time, cause you did last time and splashed all the water out.

  111. Anonymous

    GET IN MY BELLY!!

  112. Grizzam

    Billy screamed and thrashed his arms wildly as he attempted to escape the gravitational pull of THE FLAB; a hideous beast which sucked children and small trailor parks into the cavities beneath its man breasts with its sheer mass

  113. Anonymous

    Little johnny realized taht he had to swin for it, he could hear the screams of his 22 year old sister comming for the bowls of the giant monster

  114. TRASHMAN

    14 PEOPLE INJURED IN FREAK DIVEING INCIDENT TODAY.

  115. Samo

    A test conducted to decide if stomach cramps still come if you before AND as you dive. (The little boy is low calorie)

  116. Anonymous

    ~”JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!”
    ~”Come on, I want to see you soak the city again!”
    what the neighabor kids chanted on the hot july day.

  117. Nicole

    The new legislation for fat people.
    Swim at the beach only.

  118. errr..

    Han Solo bets Jabba the Hutt that he can make a bigger splash and, of course, loses. He runs instead of paying up and had assorted bounty hunters chasing him for 3 movies…

  119. Quincy J

    “Kid, my turds are bigger than you.”

  120. Alan Seaton

    At the alice in wonderland reunion,tweedle-dee was hard pressed to find his long time compadre tweedle-dum.

  121. alan seaton

    After being banned from the WWF, Andre the Giant found solace in the German Federation of wrestling, where he was allowed to eat the competitors.

  122. Newt

    The high school diving coach just can’t make those small splashes anymore. He thinks it’s the lost flexibility.

  123. Newt

    I got stung by a bee, honest

  124. Newt

    I’m sure glad my speedo still fits, I’ll be turning all the ladies heads.

  125. Phaeton

    That day, Galileo took his experiment a little too far.

  126. Robbie

    I hope the big big guy don’t jumps first, when he does the little guy will break his neck.

  127. Jontar

    Bruno suspected that the police line-up had been rigged against him.

  128. Audiodoode

    Tony Siragusa & Son.

  129. jkf

    Excuse me, sir…there’s something wedged in the back of your trunks…by the way, have you seen my son – he was here a minute ago…

  130. fIsHy

    Oooooooooohhh!!!! A NICKEL!!!! Back off boney butt that babie’s mine!!!

  131. The Bells! The Bells!

    So now we know what Quasimodo is doing with his leisure time since he retired – wait a minute…I’m confusing the Hunchback of Notre Dame with the Humpback whale – oh well.

  132. dustin cobwebs

    reprocutions of the atkins diet

  133. Stuart

    You better go first kid or your landing might be hard.

  134. flowers

    Hello, a really interesting experience to visit your website. For sure i will come back soon. greets to all !

  135. Tim White

    I am Tim White…The Human Blob…I am fat as all hell

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