Kobe’s Real Judge


Even if Kobe can afford a good enough lawyer to get off, he’s got one judge that he’ll really have to answer to regardless.

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110 Captions for “Kobe’s Real Judge”

  1. clorox

    damn.i really thought i’d get off the hook faster then r.kelly *sniff sniff*

  2. __earth

    Oooo la la! That girl in pink is hot. Hmmm….
    Oh shit, what your honor? no i haven’t rape the girl in pink yet. Ops, I mean no.

  3. jwd

    “Yes, I admit it! I have started using chewing tobacco.”

  4. nurg

    Well, for crying out loud, my wife’s a Romulan. What was I supposed to do?

  5. filkertom

    Ingmar Bergman’s Court TV

  6. Gentaur

    Kobe does his impression of Alfred Hitchcock.

  7. Gentaur

    “Mr. Bryant, are you holding a tweety bird in your mouth? Mr. Bryant?”

  8. Qs23

    Since nothing else seems to work, Kobe goes old-school and tries to hold his breath until he gets his way.

  9. anon

    Bob Ley touches little boys’ ding dongs, Shamelessly!!!!!!!!!!.

  10. jUsTaDuDe

    Wife:”He couldnt right now because the gir… i mean cousin punched him”

  11. anon

    Fixodent and forget it!

  12. sososososo

    In an emotional press conference held at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, Lakers star Kobe Byrant was in tears when he heard that Bill Clinton would be defending him against a charge that he had sexually assaulted a 19-year-old woman in Colorado.

  13. Mr. T

    Kobe Bryant responds to questions about his latest testicle foul.

  14. double dribble

    Kobe is charged with a loose balls foul.

  15. Sammy

    is that Bubba of Bubba Gump?

  16. His Wife

    OOOhhhhhh noooo you diiiieeenntt!

  17. Anon

    Anyone heard of the term: “Kobe Beef Injection”

  18. Gentaur

    “Four million dollars. FOUR MILLION DOLLARS. I’m not gonna cry. I’m NOT gonna cry…”

  19. Free Kobe! (for everyone)

    Somebody should have thrown him a basketball.

  20. Joke Explanations For Retards

    In case you don’t get it, “How do you stop niggers from raping a girl? Throw them a basketball!”

  21. Ed

    Repeat after me ‘thing a thonga thixthpenth…’

  22. =corym=

    kobe and wife audition for new ABBA video clip.

  23. Jessica Lopez

    I hope she doesn’t know that I farted.

  24. Jessica Lopez

    All She Had to do was let me go down Hershy Highway.

  25. Philip

    Kobe’s wife, “You know looking like a monkey doesn’t help, Kobe. Give it up!”

  26. tred79

    Damn it, did I just say I did that!! let’s
    see what happens now…

  27. Joe

    Me a stupid coonie.

  28. Jack

    Under advice from my attorney “Marv Alpert”, I’ve had all my teeth removed.

  29. DOH! (_8(|)

    Kobe Bryant, in his latest attempt to mimic his idol, Magic Johnson.
    Let’s see:
    Outstanding basketball player – check!
    Play for the Lakers – check!
    Get a wife who supports me no matter what – check!
    Cheat on her – check!
    Get aids – hmmm…maybe I should find another idol.

  30. Dapne

    Every star has abad side to them Tyson the abusive guy Majic with 6 girls in bed at the same time R. Kelly wut a molester, but it comes to a nigga who slept with a white girl from colarodo u know theres a problem and lookin lik a monkey ain’t gonna get u out of this one Kobe.

  31. Lex Loogie

    sheet, I gotta tickle my butta hole!!!!

  32. Prothimos

    When we get home I’m gonna smoke your ass too, bitch.

  33. anon

    I’m gonna have a husband in jail.

  34. KS

    Damn, I’d rather have AIDS like Magic Johnson!while

  35. Rentalbean

    “Yeah yeah…whin ah tole mah wife…dat bitch dun pop me in mah grill. Dat shit hurt too!”

  36. Jigsaw

    Your honor, I dun tolt ya tha whistle go woo woo!

  37. CTownHood

    “Don’t hate the player…hate the game”

  38. Jigsaw

    calgon take me away

  39. Jigsaw

    when I handed him the vacuum when he asked for a blowjob, i thought he’d use it on his cock

  40. CTownHood

    “Your honor…..did you see that hoe I tapped? Tell me you wouldn’t have hit it!!!”

  41. CTownHood

    Kobe Bryant re-enacts the face of his accusser during the “alleged” rape

  42. lawrence

    Lithen, dith fat lip cum cuz my cum shot the back of her mouth sooooo hard her head flipped back and slapped me on my upside…..I thay thwith….3 pointer!!!

  43. Lezbo Liz

    hey the first 8 inches were consenual

  44. Michelle

    …and this one time

    …at basketball camp

  45. Newt

    Kobe’s last endorsment, Beechnut Chewing Tobacco

  46. DFFDSG


  47. Werd

    You can make all the stupid faces you want to Kobe, but we can still notice your male-pattern baldness…

  48. Elliott

    “I can’t believe that ring wasn’t enough! How you gon’take my goddamn top lip and make yours outta it…biatch”

  49. Ms.Kitty

    Hurry up with dis damn press conference…I gotta hottie waiting fo me back at da crib! DAYUM!Is dat bitch starin’ at me again?!!

  50. Z_Rowsdower

    man, this -canker sore- why won’t it GO AWAY!?!

  51. mary

    Don’t put a black women or white man on the jury, put the groopies on the jury. They’ll free him so they can get their piece of the action. A fool and his money will soon part. Once these black players get some money, the next thing they get is a white women. Once these black men get money, the next thing you see are white women surroundidng them. They marry anybody as long as he has mony. Together they create a subculture. Check out Tiger Woods, he’s on his second blond. Have you ever seen any of these men with a high class white women, no.

  52. anon

    Theresa.A.Steinbach of Forest Park, Ill politics says This is NOTHING but an All-White conspiracy of Mayor Calderone-Mayor Serpico-Mayor Daley-Ed Vrdolyak White Trash cadre, And says to contact Malik Shabazz-Michael McGhee-Gus Savage for an Anti-White backlash against the Calderone-Serpico Reaganite racists.

  53. anon

    Theresa.A.Steinbach is my NEW defender, And Jeanine.L.Stevens my defense attorney, Defending agianst the White male dominated law system.

  54. anon

    Don’t Drop The Soap!!!!!!!!!.

  55. anon

    I HATE THIS WHITE RACIST MEDIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

  56. defender

    seriously….i used a rubber honey

  57. TOtheretardwhothinks-hesfunny

    that was lame

  58. anon

    Thank you, Theresa.A.Steinbach & Katie Grate for wanting to overthrow the White Racist Trash of the Calderone-Serpico hiearchy in Forest Park & The West Suburbs, Thanks for condemning the Uncle Tom hiearchy of Karen Yarborough, We want James.O.Bishop-Anthony Travis-Robbie Grace-21st Century Vote to take over this racist, zionist MAFIA cesspool shyt, Free Mumia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Theresa.A.Steinbach, Jeanine.L.Stevens & I show a disdain for the racist, zionist Police Force, Mo Fo honkies!!!!!, Unca Toms!!!!!!!

  59. anon

    It’s not Katie Grate, That’s a radical, It’s THE WATCHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. And he wants to make Forest Park, Ill into another East St.Louis, Ill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

  60. anon

    Theresa.A.Steinbach-Anthony Travis-The Watcher-James.O.Bishop-Paulie Esparza-Pamela Cannamore-Kathy.M.Ryan-Greg Kolinek-Gus Savage-Malik Shabazz-Michael McGhee-Lorraine Popelka-Bill Ayers-Bernadine Dohrn-Tom Newdow-Rick Ganulin-Enaam Aranout-Lynne Stewart-Jeanine.L.Stevens-O’Sullivan of Forest Park Review-Bill Lichtenburg-Monique Davis-Bob Perkins-Steve Cokely-Al Sampson-R.Eugene Pincham-Paul Jakes-Al Sharpton-Jon Daye-Toney Ayaya ALL BLAME IT ON THE STUPID WHITE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, For the Calderone-Serpico-Daley-Vrdolyak Reaganite Racism

  61. anon

    And Michael Swift, TOO!!!!!!!!.

  62. anon

    Theresa.A.Steinbach, Fred Bibro & I vehemently support a Cabrini-Green housing development in Forest Park, Ill & More Section 8’er’s against the racist White Trash Calderone housing plans. As does my comrade, For all the stupid white people here.

  63. Patrick Dan

    Man, I *hate* that 8Didit.com, *hate* it, *hate* it, *hate* it…

  64. fortune

    ‘your honor, i just love colorado! in fact i’ve got colorado on the insode of my lower lip right now!’ hahahaha

  65. Stoffel

    “We Got Shrimp Gumbo, Shrimp Scampi,……………….

  66. Stoffel

    get it off me,….Ahhhhhhhh, get it off my face.!?!?!..

  67. Stoffel

    damn….we burnt another one!!

  68. anon

    Theresa.A.Steinbach of Forest Park, Ill politics, For the stupid white people here, Anthony Travis, James.O.Bishop, Malik Shabazz, Ta-Hara are my REAL HEROES, Against this STUPID WHITE TRASH CABAL!!!!!!!!!!.

  69. anon

    Theresa.A.Steinbach-Lorraine Popelka-Anthony Travis-Steven Backman-Bill Ayers-Malik Shabazz-Al Sharpton-Paulie Esparza-Michael Swift-Fred Bibro-James.O.Bishop-Gus Savage-Enaam Aranout-Greg Kolinek-Rick Ganulin-Michael McGhee-Louis Farrakahan-Kathy.M.Ryan-Robbie Grace-Jeanine.L.Stevens-Bob Perkins-R.Eugene Pincham-Dario Fo-Doolin & Johnsen-Lu Palmer-Bruce Crosby-Chinta Strausberg-Paul Jakes-Al Sampson-Tom Newdow-Monique Davis-George Forbes-Pamela Cannamore-Jon Daye-Boyse Edwards-Bobbie Raymond-Oilcan Boyd-John Howard Society-Ed Yohnka-Guri Ademi & I, A Fierce Militant Force against the racist-sexist-zionist-homophobic-eurocentric Calderone-Serpico-Daley-Vrdolyak Reaganite Racism

  70. anon

    And Ben Chavis, Too!!!!!!!!!

  71. anon

    OH, I FORGOT!!!!!!!!!!!, For the stupid white people here & The Watcher, TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  72. anon

    AND Earl Officer & Wynvette Younge, Too!!!!!!.

  73. anon

    Don’t FORGET!!!!!!, The 21st Century Vote group, TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

  74. anon

    Also Barbara Lee, Bobby Fischer, H.Rap Brown, Sister Souljah, Lynne Stewart, Paul Schupp, Gil Hill, Sharon MacPhail, Buddy Tyler, Earl Hilliard, Cynthia McKinney, Marcy Kaptur, George Ryan, TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  75. cadmium

    My ancestors were Ubangis and I’m proud of it!

  76. Pokejedservo

    Wife (Thinking): Hmmm… I wonder if I should hold out until he gets me 4 million dollar rings for ALL of my fingers…

  77. anon

    Theresa.A.Steinbach, Anthony Travis, Lorraine Popelka, James.O.Bishop, Paulie Esparza, Steven Backman, Doolin & Johnsen, Pamela Cannamore, Al Sharpton, Greg Kolinek, Bill Ayers, Jeanine.L.Stevens, Lynne Stewart, Malik Shabazz, Michael McGhee, Gus Savage, R.Eugene Pincham, Frank Nocita & The Shank Mobb are feeding into my defense fund to stop this racist, zionist Calderone-Serpico-Daley-Vrdolyak conspiracy against me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

  78. anon

    Plus the Shank Mobb is in the Militant Force against the Calderone-Serpico-Daley-Vrdolyak Reaganite RACISM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

  79. HM

    You know if Big Momma was here you know what she would say about all this…..
    “Lets settle it al over a nice big helpin’ of shrimp gumbo y’all!”

  80. Bisquitlips

    Bisquitlips? Thats not me!

  81. anon

    Theresa.A.Steinbach, Al Sampson, Paul Jakes & All my African-American folks are trying our frickin hardest to cut this shyt out about the Daleyland racism of 2 WHAYTE & 1 TACO WHAYTE fo pohlice commisioner, We wont a BROTAH to take OVAH!!!!!!!!, Enough of this Daley-Calderone-Serpico RRRRRACIST BUHSHEEET!!!!!!!!!. WE WOANT JESSAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  82. anon

    Theresa.A.Steinbach-Anthony Travis-Lorraine Popelka-James.O.Bishop-Paulie Esparza-Jeanine.L.Stevens-Kathy.M.Ryan-Robbie Grace-Greg Kolinek-21st Century Vote-Louis Farrakahan-Jessay & I will be at the Top Cop Rally on the South Side of Chicago denouncing the Daleyland racist choices of the 3 superintendent candidates, Also Steinbach, Travis, Popelka, Bishop, Esparza, Stevens, Kathy.M.Ryan, Grace, Kolinek & I will take it a step further & denounce the Calderone-Serpico racist, zionist & elitist regime, Vehemently & Feriociously!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

  83. anon

    We WILL BULLY the DUMB, DUMB DALEY against this Calderone-Serpico Reaganite RACISM of selecting 2 WHAYTE & 1 TACOGREASE POHLICE SUPERINTENDENTS!!!!!!!!!!!; Jessay, Theresa.A.Steinbach, Anthony Travis, James.O.Bishop, Al Sharpton, Al Sampson, Paul Jakes, 21st Century Vote will RALLY furiously & militantly against this RACIST, ZIONIST Mo Fo Shytt!!!!!!!!!!!

  84. grow up losers

    what’s with all the stupid racist remarks here? It doesn’t take a black man to be stupid and chaet on his wife anymore than it takes a white man to accuse him of it. knock off all the bullshit losers

  85. TorgoEatsMittens

    he swallowed his lips!

  86. sdb knox

    “…and she kept grunting and making this face…”

  87. pioch


  88. whoever

    all of you who are on this site is full of shit. i guess white women must not know how to handle black dick.

  89. whoever

    all of you who are on this site is full of shit. i guess white women must not know how to handle black dick.

  90. anon

    Theresa.A.Steinbach & Lorraine Popelka obviously know how to handle a Black dick, LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

  91. Bill Kozy

    Is she looking at me? Is she? Does she look mad?

  92. Mark Beular

    After Kobe was ass raped with a dildo by the girl all he could do was just make this dumb face

  93. ollie cave


    sorry i didnt mean to follow through

  94. deleted

    KB + TNB – NBA = KB + DOC A proven mathmatical theory???

  95. Hi

    White bitches always cry rape when they dont’t get what they so want, Her white ass should of never went to the room she got just was she wanted. Dumb white bitch. Kobe is a free man. White Trash

  96. Davy

    This ride is about to get as bumpy as my head

  97. Mark D

    Realizing that Forrest was not going to bail him out this time, Bubba has no choice but to bite the bullet.

  98. anon

    I think I should join ANON and go back to Africa where I can die from AIDS.
    You know us Blackies dont likes all dese rooles.

  99. one of anon's 13 children that will never see a dime

    Hey Kobe! At least you gots some money. My Daddy ANON cant even read much less get a job. But he will blame it on Whitey and keep the food stamps for hisself.

  100. k

    Aww man, I screwed up.

  101. Whittaker

    “I knew i should have stayed home for our anniversary!”

  102. Interacial is awsome

    “Your honor yes i had consenual sex. But it sorta got outa control when she told me to treat her rough. i choked her firmly & pounded her hard. then she told me to give it to her like she never had it b4. so i got over anxious and i stuck it in her ass.. and she started to cry.

  103. Bisquitlips

    And then your honor, my wife PUNCHED me right in the MOUTH!!!

  104. cutetexasgal

    There BETTA be a really big diamond waiting for me, suga

  105. Patrick


  106. d

    ignorance is bliss. we can have fun with this but when are the race issues going to stop. This is not about race this is about money and fame. Those two things can get you off of anything, even being black!

  107. John Beatemoff

    “Jesus, I’ve got fat lips. Looks even worse when I’m pouting like this.”

  108. Beef

    Hot diggity, I am one badass mofo, sucka! Get yo’ paddy ass down there an’ gimme some head, foo’! Shit, daddy!

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