Like this will hurt me


This big tobacco exec tries to prove that even in mass quantities, cigarettes still don’t cause cancer.

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115 Captions for “Like this will hurt me”

  1. mangoze

    Modern day smoke signal

  2. jwd

    A suicide smoker prepares for yet another second-hand smoke attack somewhere in the Middle East.

  3. phos

    at least he’s not doing any drugs

  4. TCMSoccer

    The doctor said only one a day.

  5. Professor Kaos

    cancar research on the fast track

  6. Professor Kaos

    the REAL Marlboro man

  7. filkertom

    Gonna make an ash of himself

  8. filkertom

    Wait till you see the smoke ring

  9. filkertom

    The Tongue Piercing From Hell

  10. aeshel

    hell on smokers!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. one

    Pack a day? HA!

  12. Larry Reese

    New Phillip Morris employees being broken in.

  13. Kagetto

    The secret here is to not inhale.

  14. Gentaur

    And of course, he won’t offer one to anyone else.

  15. Gentaur

    Later, he would get a job filling potholes with his phlegm.

  16. (pdw)

    Denis Leary’s stagehand.

  17. s.chandler

    This is a califorian’s brain after years of smog and 1 too many tofu flax seed burgers.Any questions?

  18. BatCountry

    The no smoking rule in NYC is really crowding the streets on Saturday nights.

  19. Jill

    If smoking one cigarette is cool, imagine how cool this guy must be.

  20. MarbleburoughMan

    This is what you do when you can’t find the candles for the birthday cake.

  21. Les

    Normally I’d say smoke ’em if you got ’em and it seems he has ’em all!

  22. Les

    Gotta smoke ’em all..Smokeymon!

  23. Gentaur

    You’ve got to kiss a lot of butts to be a tobacco company executive.

  24. Fat Seanny

    This guy will do anything to get his job back a Phillip Morris.

  25. Fat Seanny

    Nobody seems to be questioning whether he is blowing out or sucking in.

  26. Fat Seanny

    With such a far gone addiction and cigarettes costing four buck a pack, this dude is gonna be in the gutter in no time.

  27. the_brick

    “Too bad I have to smoke em through this massive filter”

  28. thewheresmycardude

    That guy really sucks.

  29. Therus

    Stop! Smoking cause lung cancer.

  30. Therus

    Habib got only on smoke break a month.

  31. Mascot

    You’ve heard of walking pneumonia…here we have “walking cancer”.

  32. jwd

    His dead buddy tried this with his cap facing forward.

  33. mb

    And the local idiot proved to the villagers once again why he is the local idiot.

  34. Gentaur

    Jack won the bet that he could come up with a worse musical instrument than the bagpipes.

  35. mrdav76

    Earl was determined that this year he would indeed be awarded the coveted ‘Darwin Award’.

  36. Nik

    After one drag, Joe Camel could go without cigarettes for months.

  37. aseaton

    college rush week is so fun.

  38. aseaton

    for many, the dream of being the next joe camel came at too high of a cost

  39. austinima

    mmmmm smells like lung cancer!

  40. Pat

    After waking from a coma after 6 years, Tom decided he had to make up for lost time.

  41. Mascot

    Carrying the “butt of all jokes” thing a tad bit too far.

  42. Mascot

    Here at Bubba’s smoke house if you can finish our 5 pound smoked roundhouse the cancer is on us and you get a free t-shirt that says, “I smoked a full roundhouse at Bubba’s”

  43. Mark

    “Here ya go Johnny, Smoke Up!”

  44. Cary

    Christ, will this ballgame ever END?

  45. ruff1949

    The Marlboro man’s first smoke after waking from a coma

  46. NOTBOB

    “You don’t even know what I had to do in prison to get these.”

  47. Gentaur

    The Wheel of Misfortune.

  48. Bob Dylan

    You’re gonna have to second hand smoke somebody. Yes indeed, you’re gonna have to second hand smoke somebody. Well it may be the devil, or it may be the Lord, you’re still gonna have to second hand smoke somebody.

  49. resisobilus

    RJR’s new reality/game show – Cancer Survivor. Here Rafe of the Benson tribe beats Trudy of the Hedges tribe and moves to the top of the donor list.

  50. easty

    what a fag

  51. Hektor

    Damnit Man, Pass the friggin joint around!!

  52. Flynny

    99 packets of cigies on the wall…

  53. Ziggy

    How a Cub’s fan will spend the winter.

  54. Sean Church

    Phillip Morris realizing there was not a marketin the U.S. begins there campain in other countries

  55. Gentaur

    This will stunt his growth all at once.

  56. some guy

    After finding out that his girlfriend was pregnant, John opted for a cheap vasectomy to prevent that accident from ever happening again…his efforts were wasted, because little did he know she was doing the same thing at home.

  57. smoker

    Camel’s method of hazing its newcomers

  58. mark

    “just one more puff and I am gone”

  59. k

    “Hey kids, don’t do drugs.”

  60. Mondo

    Shove this in your pipe and smoke it!


    A real man would have smoked them without the filters!

  62. some dude

    Whatever it takes to make your balls look smaller than your cock

  63. some dude

    Canadian Roulette – since we don’t have any guns at our convenience stores, cigarettes seem like the next best thing

  64. you know it

    Next time on Jackass….

  65. Brad

    Man, I wanted the ones without the filters

  66. wynter

    Suck Me

  67. curmugion

    Ladies and Gentlemen, your 2004 North Carolina Department of Agriculture Posterboy!!!!

  68. taz

    all in a days work. got a match i need to to get this lit

  69. brian

    there lights, what can i say..

  70. Pixie killer

    I know what you’re thinking, am I blowing or sucking in? Watch closely as I do it again!

  71. Kramer

    “I only smoke when I drink.”

  72. Mark Buelar

    moments later this man’s lungs were as black as a Sudan newborn. Days later he died of lunger cancer

  73. Jamin

    “Everything went well until he realized that someone poured gas on the cigarettes…”

  74. tim loveridge

    no matter if your black or white.iam both white boy black lungs

  75. Raymondo

    I only need three more of these and I’ve got enough coupons for a pop-up toaster.

  76. jcw

    Some fools never learn. Another one of those damn video tapes from Osama!

  77. Nick

    anyone got a light?

  78. Lawrence

    Who cares about the cigarettes, what happened to this guys eyebrows….


    Competition to see who can get cancer the quickest


    I’d love to see the ashtray he uses.

  81. manicuklawyer

    In a vain attempt to stave off the electric chair, Ali “Black lung” Habib indeed got his last request…

  82. Jeff

    “Weekly foreign immigrant initiation ceremonies held in Winston Salem, NC.”

  83. EvilBalrog

    I laugh in the face of Lung Cancer!

  84. ha


  85. Ben Irons

    Shane Warne at it again!!!

  86. ben lewis

    the joke “fire cracker smokes” had gone to far this time

  87. Veronica


  88. Perry Mcdaniel

    Dammit, I taste a Lucky Strike in here. Do you want me to get cancer or something??

  89. caitlin

    Anyone got a light?

  90. bob

    Desperation after getting off “the patch.”

  91. Sean McMills

    I’ve been stupid in the past too and have tried to break an equally ridiculous record, but for me it was with girls… :^)

  92. Abdul

    Put a nipple on it, and Habib will suck anything.

    F’kn idiot!

  93. ants

    in uther breaking news man trays to break world speed record for receving the black lung!

  94. the doctor

    C’mon baby light my fire, c’mon baby light my fire… try to set the night on fire.

  95. Protcor Sucks

    For the ladies, dont smoke.
    And remember to…

  96. prplmunkii

    Truth hurts.

  97. prplmunkii

    Shane wanted so badly to be on a Truth commercial he decided to give it one last shot…

  98. Owen Lucas

    What’s that old joke?
    “Why the cigarette holder?”
    “My doctor told me to stay away from cigarettes.”

  99. None of your f**king business.

    5 minutes later Habib was ironically hit by a van carrying donor lnugs for transplant.

  100. Akuta

    3 Cartons of Cigarettes: 60 Dollars

    Lighter Fluid: 10 Dollars

    Paper: 1 Dollar a package

    Giving the Terrorists in the Middle East Lung Cancer: Priceless

  101. mark

    Factory chimney??Bwah !! I know I can do better than that !

  102. Go Go Girl

    Eat your heart out Morton Downey Jr.!

  103. Chad

    …and you thought your job was a drag.

  104. Michael

    Dude, when it says ‘smoking can kill’ on the packet they don’t mean it as a challenge.

  105. Ali

    Smoker : Can you confirm that these are lights ?

  106. tim fortune

    my brother and his usual lunchtime cigarette break.

  107. brass monkey

    Pure idiocy.

  108. Sam Reavill

    Habib had to prove to customs that he could consume 8000 cigs a year!

  109. Tim Fortune

    Can I get a light over here Ingrid Albracht?

  110. Tim Fortune #1

    Shay Marson sure likes to smoke…. and I mean A LOT!!!! so does Dan Keim!!

  111. Ingrid A.

    Tim likes to get his bernie on

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