Org Chart

38

If you have a job, I’m sure you felt like this is your organizations philosophy at some point or another.

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109 Captions for “Org Chart”

  1. Andy

    A tricky Corporate ladder to climb.

  2. fishersm

    Picture the bathroom for Employees as consistently out of toilet paper and you can understand trickle-down economics

  3. Punkenuff182

    just another way big corporations shit on their employees. good luck woring your way to the top

  4. Patrick

    Bill: Yeah, uh, Peter, I’m out of toilet paper.
    Peter: No problem, Bill. I have some right here.
    Bill: Umm, Yeah. If you could just reach up through there and wipe for me, that would be great, yeah.

  5. corym

    notice to employees : dont look up.

  6. Anonymous

    How corporate hierarchy institutionalizes brownnosing.

  7. reebdogpril

    Yeah. That really is shit on your head.

  8. Lay-Z

    New US Army Latrines

  9. Broken

    I know shit always goes down the line… but i had no idea someone was out to prove that.

  10. Alex

    Camping… Dilbert style.

  11. (pdw)

    The origins of the phrase ‘shithead’

  12. Mike

    All Employees Must Wash Their Hair Before Returning to Work.

  13. Alex Kaseberg

    And you thought you wanted the key to the executive bathroom . . .

  14. Justin

    Sortly after the system was installed in offices all over the country, its inventor Dr.Richards was tracked down and murdered by all the unfortunate shitheads….

  15. cari

    There’s a guy out there that can pee over a barn. This is one time you’d want him around so you could tell management to piss off without saying the words.

  16. David Hveiw

    ‘when we brought “it” in for analization, the guy said it was “bullshit”‘

  17. Michael

    Here at E-co we literaly shit on our employees

  18. Slow Burn

    Headquarters for Republican National Committee testing of ‘trickle-down’ economics.

  19. saucy

    I don’t get it…

  20. tiff

    my office logo.

  21. V-DOG

    Heads up!

  22. draco467

    You’re the new intern right?
    Would mind sucking it while you are down there?

  23. julia

    there’d better really be a glass cieling……….

  24. The Boss

    I don’t know why you’re complaining. You don’t have to climb stairs to get to the bathroom.

  25. Chet

    Hey…Full Moon

  26. Megs

    1st guy: “So how long have you been stuck in the employee bathroom?”
    2nd guy: “Oh, many moons.”

  27. Steve 1

    The Woodland Commission’s new office block shows a profound misunderstanding of the latest trends in vertical business restructuring

  28. Larry

    Employee: Holy shit… peanuts again for breakfast? You might want to get some fiber.

  29. Ed Walsh

    Call me , i love gay sex!!!! My name is Ed call me, 1-304-496-8236.

  30. Jowy

    This thing doesn’t need a caption.

  31. (pdw)

    A voice from the cellar: stop whingeing, how do you think we feel?

  32. Reed

    Is this what Bush meant by “Trickle Down”?

  33. Mime

    “Pete, it’s PERFECT. You know they never empty the Employee outhouse more than once a week. Just wait until he gets up there and gets all settled in, and then toss the match right in the hole…”

  34. The Optimist

    “at least we dont have to climp up steps” said the now brown coloured Dave.

  35. ronincyberpunk

    There is an old scrawl from the walls of a latrine that goes “They paint these walls to stop my pen, but the shithouse poet strikes again!” Well this time it isn’t paint Mr. Poet.

  36. steve

    Wow, now that’s what I call crapitalism.

  37. harry_k

    indicators show that unemployment is the only thing that is up here at Acme Supply

  38. Maxx

    Whatever happened to the Glass ceiling?

  39. Li'l Burro

    Finally, a brown-noser-friendly toilet! Now you too can get ahead while in the head!

  40. Paddy

    Management: I need a copy of that in triplicate on my desk by 9am tomorrow
    Employee: Good job I had curry for lunch

  41. Anonymous

    patrick, I think you owe the writers of Office Space a little money.

  42. John

    There goes the bourgeoisie opressing the proletariat again…

  43. Larry

    Guy on the Bottom: “Hey… this brownie has nuts!!!”

  44. Sadie

    “The corruption leaked from top down!!”

  45. Elf

    Do they work at some midget company or something? ‘Cause they’d hafta be preettyyy short.. >_o;;

  46. Adam

    i should really get my desktop laminated…

  47. tr

    Hey boss . . .bathroom break?

  48. cecilia =)

    Boss alwayz has the upper hand, don’t they?!

  49. ampKing

    “Hey, you call that a kiss? i couldn’t even feel it!….’

  50. wurk

    I thought this thing would be funny forever when I built it. Now it is just a damn pain in the ass. I mean, I can’t even mow the lawn around the thing!

  51. Tyler Barton

    At the Feed and Seed store the employees always felt like they were getting shit on.

  52. Anonymous

    Whilst the company is successful, the employees continue to get shit on their head.
    But when it falls, the employees survive the accident.

  53. sallamander

    Julia hoped to climb the corporate ladder. But she had a funny feeling that there was a porcelin ceiling.

  54. Joe Smith

    This is a bathroom that was designed incorrectly.

  55. d.

    outhouse.

  56. julia

    (nice play on that, sall)

  57. plankton

    “…Hey, I’ve got a great idea on how we can cut our expenses for toilet paper in the executive bathroom…”

  58. Big M

    So…you would like a promotion and your own office. It’s your lucky day!

  59. herb

    Uhhhh…The people that live in that house are like, stupid

  60. loteq

    In the game of life there are two types of people. The shit-ons and the shit-upons. Which one are you?

  61. oggie

    FLOUUUUUUSH… Damn, i have to get my promotion.

  62. Akuma

    A promotion you never want to get….

  63. Hecata

    I said I wanted to get high on shit, not get up high to take a shit!

  64. honeybeep

    “Hey boss…don’t piss on my head and tell me it’s raining!

  65. magpie steve

    Rosco raced here from 7 miles up route 666…

  66. xoot

    When you absolutely need a promotion.

  67. Steven

    John was never able to find time to volunteer to his local habitat for humanities but was able to set aside 200 hours for this contrived project.

  68. Don MatÈo

    Goddamn……..he’s got diarrhoea

  69. arion

    now, this is politics my son…

  70. Bubba

    you get to see a (w)hole new side of your boss

  71. lisa / *coon*

    Dam! Talk about getting hit by the flying terd! Ouch!!

  72. -x-

    one word… S P E A R

  73. aphrodite

    Ahhh, the trickle-down theory…but haven’t we forgotten the customer’s outhouse under the other two?

  74. zagood

    Shitting on the shoulders of giants…

  75. Shithead

    Splat! “Hey! Everything’s turning brown!”

  76. ham ka ling

    bosses on top,
    secretaries below!

  77. Babylon

    I knew the CEO was dickless

  78. HEY

    Arguments

    Economic Independence

    Isolationism on the behalf of an influential and dominant nation, such as the United States for example, generates a beacon of hope for other less authoritative countries. Throughout history, humanityís able citizens have risen to supremacy, establishing a controlling elite, and, in effect, subjecting the remainder of the population to a submissive, scrutinized position. Presently, the application shares connection to modern times, mirroring a world categorized by the dominant few, and the passive majority. Proof in support of the argument lies blatantly expressed in current events, where acts of selfish tyranny become clearly visible. Allowing a world power access to unlimited freedom, a partial reflection of recent proceedings, may result in grave consequences. World War II serves as the ideal case. Germany, which fifty years ago enjoyed status as being a mighty industrial power, invaded virtually helpless nations, such as the then newly founded Poland. As a result of the occurrence, countless civilians underwent an agonizing ordeal of persecution and terror. To place the matter in simple terms, Imperialism, the cause responsible for much of todayís existent social as well as law-enforced systems of segregation, has been one of the leading variables accountable for oppression. When a nation seeks to abandon all restrictions that define isolationism, it is likely that it is also leading an either secretive or public campaign of repression. The capitalist free market has taken such steps. Nike, for example, was condemned in the 1980ís for utilizing inexpensive child labor in foreign regions. Therefore, the United States, by permitting the action, conducted economic totalitarianism, which, minus the reference to economy, is identified by the Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary as ìthe political concept that the citizen should be totally subject to an absolute state authority.î By consenting to such, one is restricting alien industry from expansion. Although the people may benefit temporarily, the government in which they thrive upon will never fully reach a state of complete independence. It is for this reason that the United States should restrain itself into participation of worldly affairs. If a compelling armed force where to extend its influence onto the area of imperialism, not only would the possibility of an additional holocaust or war develop due to the high likelihood of arousing tensions and conflicts, but other less significant nations would fall under the regime of a limited economy prohibited by a greater state.
    The Preservation of Culture

    To a flourishing nation in its infancy, culture is of all essence. It is the one element that fuels distinction, a vital component frequently hindered by foreign industry. America, or more precisely, The United States, possesses a unique society composed of a combination of apathetic traditions. By convoluting itself into issues not pertaining to its own interest, a country jeopardizes its precious customs. Commonly, one will find South American culture contaminated with materialistic commercialism empowered by other nations. The U.S. must fight to preserve its traditions. But, at the same time, it must also end its own social corruption liable for communal decay overseas and abroad. In a sense, foreign markets strip away ethnicity, forcing communities to abandon tradition in favor of an impersonal industry. The people subject to the transformation are helpless to obstruct the money-hungry machine. The wonders of Isolationism provide the proper solution. By filtering alien influence, the U.S. will have room to develop a more distinct, richer culture, free of outside manipulation. At the same time, other nations will better sustain their refinement, opening the possibility for a social enlightenment, improving the overall state of society. The marketplace generates countless variations of immorality. Sadly, commerce expands globally and fluidly, inflicting these evils upon numerous areas internationally. This sinister commercial movement rests present in every metropolis, feeding on the populationís hard-earned money, and sucking any accessible cultural color. It is an inevitable result of business. However, by concerning only with itself, as selfish as it may sound, the U.S. will carry out a much-appreciated favor, respected not only by foreigners who wish to protect their traditions, but by Americans as well.

    Obtaining Peace Through Seclusion

    In 1914, war exploded, ravaging the land extensively, and, in the process, slaughtering millions of soldiers and innocent civilians. It was then the greatest war in recorded history, involving, according to historical accounts, the participation of over 40 million fighters, and making use of growing industry to produce modern weapons capable of sweeping away a swarm of enemies. Following the Great War came a period of financial decline and general misery. Lives where shattered to pieces, cities were burnt down to mere debris and rubble, and, of most economic importance, trade had been exterminated. Fortunately, The U.S.ís limited role in battle helped elevate post-war American economy to a degree higher than its European rivals. The United States emerged from combat as the worldís leading power. The reason behind this is simple. World War I was the first truly mechanized war, which meant that demands for raw materials such as coal and iron were high. The plea for natural resources placed strain on the economy, as nations accumulated debt in attempt to satisfy need for provisions. Luckily, the States presented a late entry in the fighting, resulting in few casualties and little wasted money on American behalf. Europe, once in command, drowned itself in debit, uplifting the United Statesí system of finance. Furthermore, since the conflict was principally fought on European territory, the American military remained in a reasonably healthy condition. Solitude can at times be a beneficial tool. A countryís state of seclusion prohibits engagement in tensions with other nations, eliminating the prospect of involvement in warfare. Peace, many times easily obtainable through simple remoteness, can enrich the wealth of a people. Had not the U.S. chosen to restrain itself from participation in World War I, democracy might have failed at the first coming of the Great Depression.

    Self-Determination

    Selfñdetermination encompasses the potential to cultivate and supplement an infant State. It is the recipe for constructing a well-established impenetrable force. A nation in its early phases must strive for success in order to survive amongst the industrial and technological whales lurking only a few miles away. U.S. president Woodrow Wilson vigorously stressed the policy of Self-Determination in his 14 Points at the closure of World War I. The principle itself endorses the idea of an unalienable entitlement to ìdetermine oneís forthcoming status.î A country upholds the right to shape the future of its political standing. Again, foreign influence thwarts the possibility, despite sincere intentions to augment a region. The U.S. has stationed its military, as well as its political influence, in numerous vulnerable areas. By doing so, it has violated the universal prerogative that allows a nation to decide upon its own fate. The case with the American Revolution equates that of the previously stated. During the 18th century, the British government subjected colonial civilians under strict rule, while at the same time dwarfing American representation in parliament. Had not the colonies rebelled, England may have still dominated supreme today. Fortunately, the sheer geography of the vast Atlantic Ocean sided with American forces, as it can often be difficult to fight a war overseas. This crucial factor, possibly accountable for Colonial victory, may have been one of the sole resolving variables in deciding whether the American people would thrive, or deteriorate under totalitarianism. After the end of British tyranny, a sea of opportunities stemmed, and a new promising outlook on American life developed. It was motivational Self-Determination that inspired civilians to revolt against their oppressors. When a State interferes with this, it subdues a people to a predictable, unvarying, and unsatisfying prospect. To avoid such from ever occurring, it would be of the worldís best interest if the able U.S. giant concern itself with matters relevant only to American issues.

    Foreign aid

    The idea of financial aid is an appealing preposition, on both the behalf of an economically distressed society, and the nation servicing the monetary boost. A financially unstable country will find foreign loans a helpful tool in bettering their economic troubles. For the assisting power, the act alleviates the conscience, knowing a righteous act was executed, while at the same time enhancing their public image. However, the deed may result in a number of negative consequences as well. The United States, in accordance to USA Today, spent 15 billion dollars on foreign aid last year alone. One would naturally think that such massive amounts of money would be sufficient enough to effectively improve conditions in foreign regions. However, the figures are misleading. The billions of dollars apply to a distributed field of aid, meaning that a certain area will receive limited financial assistance, likely not adequate enough. Although loans may help stabilize an unbalanced economy plagued with inflation, the probability of complete rejuvenation is highly questionable. In addition, foreign loans pose an ongoing risk. A country may become so drenched in its debt that it may be not capable of paying off its debit. This is especially true with nations engulfed in poverty, countries most certified for aid. The onset of the Great Depression signified such. During this period of financial deterioration, the United States demanded its loans be paid back, in fear of an economic crisis. The probability of another monetary catastrophe is not improbable, and if it were ever to come, even the slightest abundance of resources would make all the difference.

    Overlooked Possibilities

    America has no obligation to defend any ethnicity. It most definitely has a right to do so, given that a people are subjugated to an agonizing movement of inquisition or abuse, as was and is still done to the Jews. But there is no international law that forces U.S. participation in any event. Morals shouldnít compel intervention either, true especially today now that it seems America has shed all decency. Many propose justice, equality, and virtue as solutions, but all sense of righteousness is exiled into oblivion at the commencement of battle. World War II presented an overlooked solution in favor of isolationism, one that might have placed an end to Hitlerís Third Reich without American association at all. In Europe, the rise of Totalitarianism silenced Democracy, subduing equality and individualism for a strict militant dictatorship. Compelling leaders, such as Mussolini, delivered fiery species, brainwashing the public. One extreme policy even went as far as to proclaim that ìMussolini is always right.î The spread of totalitarianism mushroomed into various forms of authoritative governments. Communism, Fascism, and Nazism (which is essentially German fascism) competed for dominance. Another note that further establishes the division between the two dictatorships correlates with ethnicity. The Slavic nations, primarily Russia, adopted Communism, while the Italians and later the Germans embraced Fascism. Both nationalities, for the most part, passionately hated each other, and would go to great lengths in order to exterminate one another. Simply put it, warfare could have been plainly limited to combat between just two Industrial titans: Russia and Germany. Unfortunately, the U.S., feeling the need to act heroically, was lured into battle, costing the lives of innumerable soldiers. By letting the Slavs and the Germans wipe each other out, not only could have Hitlerís empire been shattered, but so might have the Russian kingdom. If that had happened, World War II would have been a far less life-consuming clash. Moreover, with the exhaustion of Russian forces, the Cold War might have also been avoided, saving yet more souls and future conflicting struggles.

    Negative Aspects of Immigration

    Immigration produces constructive qualities, as well as potentially destructive hazards. Foreign influence has most certainly enlightened American tradition, but one will frequently find this ethnically inherited quality of cultural supplementation a catalyst for racism. Unity is the means by which an unshakable deeply rooted nation is built upon. Exclude oneness, and expect collapse and civil struggle. Nationalism, essentially patriotism, serves as another crucial key in the development of a unified society. A sense of respect, obedience, and willingness to defend ñall trademarks of nationalism- must blossom in every community for a truly blended country to survive. Alas, differences diffuse a nation, highlighting the likelihood of discrimination. No unit of civilization is perfect only because mankind itself is flawed, and the public is merely a replica of that blunder. Every component of humanity retains his/her particular distinctions. When the masses gather together to form an exclusive party, they extract the indifferent, and gradually, or in some instances, rapidly grow to detest these groups of outcasts. The wave of immigration that swept America in the late 1800s and the early 1900s strengthened such stirrings of nation-wide prejudice. The Italians and the Polish struggled to elevate themselves from their position at the bottom of the social ladder. Streets advertising job opportunities were littered with insulting commentary, such as ìMen needed, no Irish need to apply.î These movements of ethical intolerance originated from an ignorance and hatred for the dissimilar minority, a disease plaguing immigration even today. Welcoming foreign influence, thus promoting globalization, is certain to rouse feelings of racism. The idea of Social Darwinism, a theory many have implemented, further intensifies ethnic tensions. The philosophy behind the concept sponsors the notion of ìsurvival of the fittestî. Coincidently, the U.S. currently maintains status as being the top world power. Some Americans, chiefly but not limited to the white population, reject any background that doesnít relate their own, partly in due to U.S. supremacy. Not surprisingly, it is these types of people that scrutinize the minority, and aggressively encourage discrimination. Restricting immigration through less global contribution will not only significantly decrease the amount of hate crimes, but will also better unify the nation now that social turmoil is repressed.

    Rebuilding Europe and Asia

    The World is much too dependent on the U.S. A breakdown in American economy would prove disastrous. The Great Depression confirmed this claim. Corrosion of American finances would cause U.S. banks to recall their loans, generating troubles internationally, and ceasing what little foreign aid may be imposed. However, moderate seclusion may in fact solidify countries abroad. A sensible amount of remoteness within a given period of time can improve finances in other regions by modestly cutting off economic lifelines. With the U.S. out of the picture, other countries will be left alone to found their own financial independence. Both Europe and Asia experienced trials of economic reliance. The Great Wars that cursed the world during the earlier half of the 21st century accounted for a major shift in power. Because European nations were forced to count upon foreign assistance, primarily the United States, their economies failed once their budgets expired. As money dissolved in Europe, so did influence, transferring dominance to Asia. Russia and China would later become the superpowers during the post-World War II years. However, even then, Russia collapsed and crumbled to third-world status at the disbandment of the U.S.S.R. American loans were issued, and to this day Russia and Europe remain passive, at least much more so then they once were. The exclusion of American presence in the world economy can launch feelings of Self-Determination. Countries would be destined, knowing U.S. aid would be out of the question, to construct a self-reliant government. If ever this occurred, circumstances in European and Asian areas might recover. Writer James Hall acknowledged this possibility, stating, ìIf the US abandons the world, you can be assured that Europe will grow strong and self-determinedÖand even Russia, after realizing its mistake, may eventually rebuild itself.î

    America: A Hated Nation

    The United States it at a constant threat of attack from enemies overseas as well as nearby. This nation is one of the most hated countries in the entire world, loathed by nearly every Arab homeland in the Middle East, and detested by countless of Nationalists in Asia and in South America. To say they have no right to feel this way is ignorant and inconsiderate, as well as naÔve and thoughtless. The majority of Americans are unaware of the horrible atrocities their adored country has committed; they only perceive what they want to believe, and spew out any damaging evidence. Vietnam presents one of the most compelling examples of American evils. To begin with, the Civil War that revolved around Vietnam pursued objectives completely separate from that of U.S. matters. The country during wartime was divided into two focal regions, the north, being anti-American, and the south, in support of the U.S. However, An alliance alone is no reason to blindly engage in battle. The result of American participation in Vietnam upshot in the destruction of lives, the exhaustion of provisions, and tarnish to the American name. The War was an unpopular conflict, and managed to seemingly only stir more turmoil than had been present before. Veterans arriving home for the first time since the struggle had erupted received a crude welcoming. If anything, America worsened circumstances. One account made public by The History Channel illustrates the true horrors of the U.S. military. Footage taken during the war revealed an agonizing sight of inhumanity– a mourning Vietnamese civilian pleads for mercy in an attempt to save his life. A heartless American Soldier then swiftly approaches the weeping citizen, and in an instant carelessly shoots him in the chest without any logical reason, undoubtedly killing him. Take this portrait of cruelty, and magnify to fit a global scale. The United States isnít despised because rival nations are ìJealous of its freedomî, as President Bush declared. This country is hated because it operates like a bully, stationing its troops in uninvited areas, and taking advantage of other countryís weak governments. It is for these reasons that the attacks on September the 11th occurred. The terrorists responsible for the assault lead a successful campaign of horror. If the U.S. wishes to avoid such from ever occurring, and halt increasing anti-American feeling in other nations, then the best route to follow would be one of free of imperialism.

    End of a Communist Threat

    The end of the Cold War signified the fall of a mechanized Goliath. The U.S.S.R., which enjoyed international success prior to 1990, crumbled into a series of numerous Slavic countries towards the end of the first Bush presidency, bringing Communist Russia to the verge of breakdown. The country unsuccessfully tried to revive its economy, collapsing to a state of bankruptcy in an effort to convert to the apparent victor ñ Capitalism. Russia began to lose balance, and its once mighty military force fell as the nation ceased the mass manufacturing of arms. Furthermore, with the abandonment of Communism, Russia no longer seemed to be a note-worthy threat. Before, when the U.S.S.R. had prospered, Communist nationalists preached anti-democratic doctrines, some of which were inspired by Karl Marx. Communists throughout Europe and Asia prophesized the end of Capitalism, and foretold of a world wide communist revolution powered by the working class. Fortunately for democracy, Karl Marxís theories proved to be incorrect. But now that the Russian hazard has died away, thereís no reason for American to function as the ìglobal police.î With the exception of China, there are presently no serious superpower dangers. In the midst of war, there might have been a justifiable reason for the United States to behave the way it did, as a controlling involved peacekeeping nation. But current events donít point to any major threat, and thereís no need to exert an influence in nations of little or no economic value.

    Conclusion

    The world is a battleground for competition. Every year, conflicts rouse, fade away, or result in war. In some circumstances, interference is appropriate, but in most situations, itís avoidable. Participation in worldly affairs increases the likelihood of developing tensions. Practicing Imperialism is clearly asking for a revolution. Throughout its history, the United States hasnít always taken the most reasonable approach. Up till this day, she continues to violate other nationís rights. With the simple solution of solitude and an end to intervention, America can not only improve conditions abroad by lessening infringement, but also enhance its own state through reduction in hate crimes. Its very own isolation can boost economies elsewhere, and preserve traditions that havenít been polluted by industry. The benefits of separation outweigh those of global association, and ultimately, itíll be those nations who choose not to interfere that will survive.

  79. HEY

    Arguments

    Economic Independence

    Isolationism on the behalf of an influential and dominant nation, such as the United States for example, generates a beacon of hope for other less authoritative countries. Throughout history, humanityís able citizens have risen to supremacy, establishing a controlling elite, and, in effect, subjecting the remainder of the population to a submissive, scrutinized position. Presently, the application shares connection to modern times, mirroring a world categorized by the dominant few, and the passive majority. Proof in support of the argument lies blatantly expressed in current events, where acts of selfish tyranny become clearly visible. Allowing a world power access to unlimited freedom, a partial reflection of recent proceedings, may result in grave consequences. World War II serves as the ideal case. Germany, which fifty years ago enjoyed status as being a mighty industrial power, invaded virtually helpless nations, such as the then newly founded Poland. As a result of the occurrence, countless civilians underwent an agonizing ordeal of persecution and terror. To place the matter in simple terms, Imperialism, the cause responsible for much of todayís existent social as well as law-enforced systems of segregation, has been one of the leading variables accountable for oppression. When a nation seeks to abandon all restrictions that define isolationism, it is likely that it is also leading an either secretive or public campaign of repression. The capitalist free market has taken such steps. Nike, for example, was condemned in the 1980ís for utilizing inexpensive child labor in foreign regions. Therefore, the United States, by permitting the action, conducted economic totalitarianism, which, minus the reference to economy, is identified by the Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary as ìthe political concept that the citizen should be totally subject to an absolute state authority.î By consenting to such, one is restricting alien industry from expansion. Although the people may benefit temporarily, the government in which they thrive upon will never fully reach a state of complete independence. It is for this reason that the United States should restrain itself into participation of worldly affairs. If a compelling armed force where to extend its influence onto the area of imperialism, not only would the possibility of an additional holocaust or war develop due to the high likelihood of arousing tensions and conflicts, but other less significant nations would fall under the regime of a limited economy prohibited by a greater state.
    The Preservation of Culture

    To a flourishing nation in its infancy, culture is of all essence. It is the one element that fuels distinction, a vital component frequently hindered by foreign industry. America, or more precisely, The United States, possesses a unique society composed of a combination of apathetic traditions. By convoluting itself into issues not pertaining to its own interest, a country jeopardizes its precious customs. Commonly, one will find South American culture contaminated with materialistic commercialism empowered by other nations. The U.S. must fight to preserve its traditions. But, at the same time, it must also end its own social corruption liable for communal decay overseas and abroad. In a sense, foreign markets strip away ethnicity, forcing communities to abandon tradition in favor of an impersonal industry. The people subject to the transformation are helpless to obstruct the money-hungry machine. The wonders of Isolationism provide the proper solution. By filtering alien influence, the U.S. will have room to develop a more distinct, richer culture, free of outside manipulation. At the same time, other nations will better sustain their refinement, opening the possibility for a social enlightenment, improving the overall state of society. The marketplace generates countless variations of immorality. Sadly, commerce expands globally and fluidly, inflicting these evils upon numerous areas internationally. This sinister commercial movement rests present in every metropolis, feeding on the populationís hard-earned money, and sucking any accessible cultural color. It is an inevitable result of business. However, by concerning only with itself, as selfish as it may sound, the U.S. will carry out a much-appreciated favor, respected not only by foreigners who wish to protect their traditions, but by Americans as well.

    Obtaining Peace Through Seclusion

    In 1914, war exploded, ravaging the land extensively, and, in the process, slaughtering millions of soldiers and innocent civilians. It was then the greatest war in recorded history, involving, according to historical accounts, the participation of over 40 million fighters, and making use of growing industry to produce modern weapons capable of sweeping away a swarm of enemies. Following the Great War came a period of financial decline and general misery. Lives where shattered to pieces, cities were burnt down to mere debris and rubble, and, of most economic importance, trade had been exterminated. Fortunately, The U.S.ís limited role in battle helped elevate post-war American economy to a degree higher than its European rivals. The United States emerged from combat as the worldís leading power. The reason behind this is simple. World War I was the first truly mechanized war, which meant that demands for raw materials such as coal and iron were high. The plea for natural resources placed strain on the economy, as nations accumulated debt in attempt to satisfy need for provisions. Luckily, the States presented a late entry in the fighting, resulting in few casualties and little wasted money on American behalf. Europe, once in command, drowned itself in debit, uplifting the United Statesí system of finance. Furthermore, since the conflict was principally fought on European territory, the American military remained in a reasonably healthy condition. Solitude can at times be a beneficial tool. A countryís state of seclusion prohibits engagement in tensions with other nations, eliminating the prospect of involvement in warfare. Peace, many times easily obtainable through simple remoteness, can enrich the wealth of a people. Had not the U.S. chosen to restrain itself from participation in World War I, democracy might have failed at the first coming of the Great Depression.

    Self-Determination

    Selfñdetermination encompasses the potential to cultivate and supplement an infant State. It is the recipe for constructing a well-established impenetrable force. A nation in its early phases must strive for success in order to survive amongst the industrial and technological whales lurking only a few miles away. U.S. president Woodrow Wilson vigorously stressed the policy of Self-Determination in his 14 Points at the closure of World War I. The principle itself endorses the idea of an unalienable entitlement to ìdetermine oneís forthcoming status.î A country upholds the right to shape the future of its political standing. Again, foreign influence thwarts the possibility, despite sincere intentions to augment a region. The U.S. has stationed its military, as well as its political influence, in numerous vulnerable areas. By doing so, it has violated the universal prerogative that allows a nation to decide upon its own fate. The case with the American Revolution equates that of the previously stated. During the 18th century, the British government subjected colonial civilians under strict rule, while at the same time dwarfing American representation in parliament. Had not the colonies rebelled, England may have still dominated supreme today. Fortunately, the sheer geography of the vast Atlantic Ocean sided with American forces, as it can often be difficult to fight a war overseas. This crucial factor, possibly accountable for Colonial victory, may have been one of the sole resolving variables in deciding whether the American people would thrive, or deteriorate under totalitarianism. After the end of British tyranny, a sea of opportunities stemmed, and a new promising outlook on American life developed. It was motivational Self-Determination that inspired civilians to revolt against their oppressors. When a State interferes with this, it subdues a people to a predictable, unvarying, and unsatisfying prospect. To avoid such from ever occurring, it would be of the worldís best interest if the able U.S. giant concern itself with matters relevant only to American issues.

    Foreign aid

    The idea of financial aid is an appealing preposition, on both the behalf of an economically distressed society, and the nation servicing the monetary boost. A financially unstable country will find foreign loans a helpful tool in bettering their economic troubles. For the assisting power, the act alleviates the conscience, knowing a righteous act was executed, while at the same time enhancing their public image. However, the deed may result in a number of negative consequences as well. The United States, in accordance to USA Today, spent 15 billion dollars on foreign aid last year alone. One would naturally think that such massive amounts of money would be sufficient enough to effectively improve conditions in foreign regions. However, the figures are misleading. The billions of dollars apply to a distributed field of aid, meaning that a certain area will receive limited financial assistance, likely not adequate enough. Although loans may help stabilize an unbalanced economy plagued with inflation, the probability of complete rejuvenation is highly questionable. In addition, foreign loans pose an ongoing risk. A country may become so drenched in its debt that it may be not capable of paying off its debit. This is especially true with nations engulfed in poverty, countries most certified for aid. The onset of the Great Depression signified such. During this period of financial deterioration, the United States demanded its loans be paid back, in fear of an economic crisis. The probability of another monetary catastrophe is not improbable, and if it were ever to come, even the slightest abundance of resources would make all the difference.

    Overlooked Possibilities

    America has no obligation to defend any ethnicity. It most definitely has a right to do so, given that a people are subjugated to an agonizing movement of inquisition or abuse, as was and is still done to the Jews. But there is no international law that forces U.S. participation in any event. Morals shouldnít compel intervention either, true especially today now that it seems America has shed all decency. Many propose justice, equality, and virtue as solutions, but all sense of righteousness is exiled into oblivion at the commencement of battle. World War II presented an overlooked solution in favor of isolationism, one that might have placed an end to Hitlerís Third Reich without American association at all. In Europe, the rise of Totalitarianism silenced Democracy, subduing equality and individualism for a strict militant dictatorship. Compelling leaders, such as Mussolini, delivered fiery species, brainwashing the public. One extreme policy even went as far as to proclaim that ìMussolini is always right.î The spread of totalitarianism mushroomed into various forms of authoritative governments. Communism, Fascism, and Nazism (which is essentially German fascism) competed for dominance. Another note that further establishes the division between the two dictatorships correlates with ethnicity. The Slavic nations, primarily Russia, adopted Communism, while the Italians and later the Germans embraced Fascism. Both nationalities, for the most part, passionately hated each other, and would go to great lengths in order to exterminate one another. Simply put it, warfare could have been plainly limited to combat between just two Industrial titans: Russia and Germany. Unfortunately, the U.S., feeling the need to act heroically, was lured into battle, costing the lives of innumerable soldiers. By letting the Slavs and the Germans wipe each other out, not only could have Hitlerís empire been shattered, but so might have the Russian kingdom. If that had happened, World War II would have been a far less life-consuming clash. Moreover, with the exhaustion of Russian forces, the Cold War might have also been avoided, saving yet more souls and future conflicting struggles.

    Negative Aspects of Immigration

    Immigration produces constructive qualities, as well as potentially destructive hazards. Foreign influence has most certainly enlightened American tradition, but one will frequently find this ethnically inherited quality of cultural supplementation a catalyst for racism. Unity is the means by which an unshakable deeply rooted nation is built upon. Exclude oneness, and expect collapse and civil struggle. Nationalism, essentially patriotism, serves as another crucial key in the development of a unified society. A sense of respect, obedience, and willingness to defend ñall trademarks of nationalism- must blossom in every community for a truly blended country to survive. Alas, differences diffuse a nation, highlighting the likelihood of discrimination. No unit of civilization is perfect only because mankind itself is flawed, and the public is merely a replica of that blunder. Every component of humanity retains his/her particular distinctions. When the masses gather together to form an exclusive party, they extract the indifferent, and gradually, or in some instances, rapidly grow to detest these groups of outcasts. The wave of immigration that swept America in the late 1800s and the early 1900s strengthened such stirrings of nation-wide prejudice. The Italians and the Polish struggled to elevate themselves from their position at the bottom of the social ladder. Streets advertising job opportunities were littered with insulting commentary, such as ìMen needed, no Irish need to apply.î These movements of ethical intolerance originated from an ignorance and hatred for the dissimilar minority, a disease plaguing immigration even today. Welcoming foreign influence, thus promoting globalization, is certain to rouse feelings of racism. The idea of Social Darwinism, a theory many have implemented, further intensifies ethnic tensions. The philosophy behind the concept sponsors the notion of ìsurvival of the fittestî. Coincidently, the U.S. currently maintains status as being the top world power. Some Americans, chiefly but not limited to the white population, reject any background that doesnít relate their own, partly in due to U.S. supremacy. Not surprisingly, it is these types of people that scrutinize the minority, and aggressively encourage discrimination. Restricting immigration through less global contribution will not only significantly decrease the amount of hate crimes, but will also better unify the nation now that social turmoil is repressed.

    Rebuilding Europe and Asia

    The World is much too dependent on the U.S. A breakdown in American economy would prove disastrous. The Great Depression confirmed this claim. Corrosion of American finances would cause U.S. banks to recall their loans, generating troubles internationally, and ceasing what little foreign aid may be imposed. However, moderate seclusion may in fact solidify countries abroad. A sensible amount of remoteness within a given period of time can improve finances in other regions by modestly cutting off economic lifelines. With the U.S. out of the picture, other countries will be left alone to found their own financial independence. Both Europe and Asia experienced trials of economic reliance. The Great Wars that cursed the world during the earlier half of the 21st century accounted for a major shift in power. Because European nations were forced to count upon foreign assistance, primarily the United States, their economies failed once their budgets expired. As money dissolved in Europe, so did influence, transferring dominance to Asia. Russia and China would later become the superpowers during the post-World War II years. However, even then, Russia collapsed and crumbled to third-world status at the disbandment of the U.S.S.R. American loans were issued, and to this day Russia and Europe remain passive, at least much more so then they once were. The exclusion of American presence in the world economy can launch feelings of Self-Determination. Countries would be destined, knowing U.S. aid would be out of the question, to construct a self-reliant government. If ever this occurred, circumstances in European and Asian areas might recover. Writer James Hall acknowledged this possibility, stating, ìIf the US abandons the world, you can be assured that Europe will grow strong and self-determinedÖand even Russia, after realizing its mistake, may eventually rebuild itself.î

    America: A Hated Nation

    The United States it at a constant threat of attack from enemies overseas as well as nearby. This nation is one of the most hated countries in the entire world, loathed by nearly every Arab homeland in the Middle East, and detested by countless of Nationalists in Asia and in South America. To say they have no right to feel this way is ignorant and inconsiderate, as well as naÔve and thoughtless. The majority of Americans are unaware of the horrible atrocities their adored country has committed; they only perceive what they want to believe, and spew out any damaging evidence. Vietnam presents one of the most compelling examples of American evils. To begin with, the Civil War that revolved around Vietnam pursued objectives completely separate from that of U.S. matters. The country during wartime was divided into two focal regions, the north, being anti-American, and the south, in support of the U.S. However, An alliance alone is no reason to blindly engage in battle. The result of American participation in Vietnam upshot in the destruction of lives, the exhaustion of provisions, and tarnish to the American name. The War was an unpopular conflict, and managed to seemingly only stir more turmoil than had been present before. Veterans arriving home for the first time since the struggle had erupted received a crude welcoming. If anything, America worsened circumstances. One account made public by The History Channel illustrates the true horrors of the U.S. military. Footage taken during the war revealed an agonizing sight of inhumanity– a mourning Vietnamese civilian pleads for mercy in an attempt to save his life. A heartless American Soldier then swiftly approaches the weeping citizen, and in an instant carelessly shoots him in the chest without any logical reason, undoubtedly killing him. Take this portrait of cruelty, and magnify to fit a global scale. The United States isnít despised because rival nations are ìJealous of its freedomî, as President Bush declared. This country is hated because it operates like a bully, stationing its troops in uninvited areas, and taking advantage of other countryís weak governments. It is for these reasons that the attacks on September the 11th occurred. The terrorists responsible for the assault lead a successful campaign of horror. If the U.S. wishes to avoid such from ever occurring, and halt increasing anti-American feeling in other nations, then the best route to follow would be one of free of imperialism.

    End of a Communist Threat

    The end of the Cold War signified the fall of a mechanized Goliath. The U.S.S.R., which enjoyed international success prior to 1990, crumbled into a series of numerous Slavic countries towards the end of the first Bush presidency, bringing Communist Russia to the verge of breakdown. The country unsuccessfully tried to revive its economy, collapsing to a state of bankruptcy in an effort to convert to the apparent victor ñ Capitalism. Russia began to lose balance, and its once mighty military force fell as the nation ceased the mass manufacturing of arms. Furthermore, with the abandonment of Communism, Russia no longer seemed to be a note-worthy threat. Before, when the U.S.S.R. had prospered, Communist nationalists preached anti-democratic doctrines, some of which were inspired by Karl Marx. Communists throughout Europe and Asia prophesized the end of Capitalism, and foretold of a world wide communist revolution powered by the working class. Fortunately for democracy, Karl Marxís theories proved to be incorrect. But now that the Russian hazard has died away, thereís no reason for American to function as the ìglobal police.î With the exception of China, there are presently no serious superpower dangers. In the midst of war, there might have been a justifiable reason for the United States to behave the way it did, as a controlling involved peacekeeping nation. But current events donít point to any major threat, and thereís no need to exert an influence in nations of little or no economic value.

    Conclusion

    The world is a battleground for competition. Every year, conflicts rouse, fade away, or result in war. In some circumstances, interference is appropriate, but in most situations, itís avoidable. Participation in worldly affairs increases the likelihood of developing tensions. Practicing Imperialism is clearly asking for a revolution. Throughout its history, the United States hasnít always taken the most reasonable approach. Up till this day, she continues to violate other nationís rights. With the simple solution of solitude and an end to intervention, America can not only improve conditions abroad by lessening infringement, but also enhance its own state through reduction in hate crimes. Its very own isolation can boost economies elsewhere, and preserve traditions that havenít been polluted by industry. The benefits of separation outweigh those of global association, and ultimately, itíll be those nations who choose not to interfere that will survive.

  80. _AK_

    he’s always on top!

  81. Anonymous

    Shit does go downhill

  82. Karl Marx

    What you don’t see is the basement floor labled ‘congressmen’

  83. Beaf

    Heads up, i had mexican for lunch.

  84. KDawgTheShit

    Wait a second, that’s my cubicle.

  85. Ike

    Enron’s new corporate Headquarters

  86. van

    “Wow…Shit really does roll downhill!”

  87. Anonymous

  88. B-Man

    Tired of her husband being dumped on Ted’s wife told him to lite a match under his bosses ass. I think he misunerstood.

  89. Anonymous

    i see a pale moon risin’

  90. golfgirl

    So thats what they mean when they say “Climbing the Corporate Ladder!”

  91. james h

    They say it always runs down hill.

  92. Les

    How KMart employees really feel!

  93. Resisobilus

    Somewhere a History professor is reading, “THIS is the employee dividend program?!”

  94. Capcom Freedom

    Matt Greoning is so gunna sew you.

  95. Barf

    Wait a second! What kind of cheap-ass company can’t afford plumbing??

  96. yogurt

    There was a reason management loved eating at Taco Bell

  97. flowers

    A pleasure to look at, go on with this! Thanks!

  98. flowers

    You have a great website. Keep up the good work.

  99. jdj

    “NO IRISH NEED TO APPLY”

  100. jdj

    “NO IRISH NEED TO APPLY”

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