Segway Sales


Maybe the look on this guys face can explain why so many industry visionaries think the Segway will revolutionize human transportation.

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98 Captions for “Segway Sales”

  1. your mom

    Weee, this segway makes me have to peee.

  2. Les

    Does this helmet make me look retarded or is it the whole thing?

  3. Tad Holbie

    Ha ha, very funny. Who’s the smartass with the paintball gun?

  4. stevejust

    E-bay 2002: $4,000.00
    E-bay 2003: $40.00
    Remember the razor scooter? Yeah, me neither.

  5. ego

    Little made Hughbert happier than out running old folks in the underground seniors racing circuit; “Ha, in your face Gramps! Now sign over that fat social security check, hand me the pink slip to your rascal and toss me that fruit cup, victory is mine!”

  6. ego

    Jeb let out a smile and a relaxed sigh, as now he finally had an excuse for wearing a helmet.

  7. dzine

    Coming soon the optional briefcase rack for those who do not have perfect balance.

  8. moogoo

    Segue on your way to work on your Segway.
    (Are we so stupid that they had to spell it phonetically?????)

  9. stacy chandler


  10. Mark Smith

    having another rod between his legs helped him to feel better about himself until hit a speed bump and the mahince fell and crushed him.

  11. filkertom

    “I have got to simplify my masturbation rituals.”

  12. filkertom

    Newest member, the Witless Protection Program

  13. filkertom

    You had to do it, didn’t you? You could’ve maintained the tiniest smidgen of dignity. But NOOOOOO, you had to start going, “BRRMMM! BRRMMM!” Didn’t you!?

  14. jimmythefish


  15. Ashton

    Now the future is here – redneck hicks get off the Datsun truck habit!

  16. spat

    E.S.V. (Energy-Saving-Vehicle).
    It works on smiles. The harder you smile the faster it goes.

    This man will arrive at his work in exactly 15 hours.

  17. Lisa H.

    The reason why we have ended up with inline scooter wheels is… The first time you crash this one into a rock, your face first plunge will result in retardedness… NOTE: This man has a head start!

  18. Lisa H.

    Stupid invention leaves man retarded after losing balance.

  19. Lisa H.

    New Product: The Chinese Face Whacking Scooter… One slip-up & you’re Chinese!

  20. Lisa H.

    It’s the first riding vaccuum cleaner!

  21. Lisa H.

    Inventor today In-Pain tomorrow

  22. Lisa H.


  23. Mary

    This thing is great. I got hot old chicks with blue hair, alzheimers and wrinkles crawling all over me.

  24. Mary

    A sucker riding the latest gizmo from the sharper image

  25. Mr. Poopy

    Lazy Goofy Bastard Riding A Dorkcycle

  26. Ralph Nader

    This was all that remained of Blake’s SUV after it was run over by a gigantic mining truck.

  27. jwd

    With the weight of the briefcase on one side, Mr. Poindexter found his new high-tech toy kept going in circles.

  28. nice rack

    The extreme speed and g-forces of the Segway distorted Emily’s breast implants and gave her an Adam’s apple.

  29. nurg

    I still can’t figure out where to put The Club on this thing!

  30. Mascot

    Bling! Bling!

  31. Slappy

    The best feature? When a hot girl walks bye, it turns into a Porsche.

  32. Slappy

    Introducing the Dork B Gone

  33. Cyder

    No one had the heart to tell the man that his battery had run out, and he had been standing still for about an hour now

  34. E McGee

    “You’re right, the only way to enjoy this is to be stoned!”

  35. blemo

    izzat a pocket full of marbles or are
    you just a dork?

  36. Kingfisha

    General Motors is please to announce we’ve taken the “short bus” concept to the next level!

  37. SisteroftheSun

    They didn’t tell me the strap was
    as tight as my underwer.

  38. Gleeful Extremist

    It was no accident that Rumsfeld gave the nuclear briefcase to Ralphie to balance on his new scooter. After all, it only contained the big red button to nuke France. Be careful, little Ralphie!


    After she hitched a ride in the back, Jim’s face was never the same again.

  40. onebad427

    This fag couldn’t settle for just walking out of the closet!

  41. The Dr

    “I am cornholio. I need TP for my bunghole!”

  42. Kirk

    Not wanting to look too gay Bob opted for the metallic gray model instead of the pink.

  43. rob douglas

    Look everyone, I’m going to Disneyland!!!!!!

  44. Pokejedservo

    One of the outtakes on the current CBS sitcom “Yes, Dear”. Needless to say this won’t be on any of Dick Clark’s “Blooper” specials, but unlike all the others this is a GOOD thing.

  45. Levon

    Designed for the lazy Nerd in your family.

  46. Reut

    Segway, aka The Ego-mobile

  47. Fartman

    Ride, Forest, ride!

  48. ottodachat

    Ask me about the milage. Burns 2 gallons every 4 miles. Hey at this rate hell with the polar ice caps.

  49. easy rider

    “All right! Maybe now they’ll finally let me join the Hell’s Angels!!”

  50. Robbler

    David Lee Roth showing off his ride on the new episode of CRIBS.

  51. Fartman

    At this point, John didn’t realize he was about to fall on his nose.

  52. meg

    what is IT?

  53. Whiskey

    The acronym is finally complete.
    Segway Human Idiot Transporter

  54. Mascot

    Bling! Bling!

  55. Dorky D. Dork

    Dork Pop Quiz: Who is dorkiest:
    a) the dork who invented this dorkcycle;
    b) the dork on the dorkcycle;
    c) the dorks in the background anxiously waiting to ride the dorkcycle;
    d) none of the above — they’re all equally dorky.

  56. Crunchy

    Scooters! Get your scooter here! Just $5,000! Get your $5,000, really stable, kinda slow scooter here, folks! You, sir! Would YOU like to buy a $5,000 scooter today? Anyone? Anyone?

  57. Hagan

    Have you seen my baseball?!

  58. Paul

    “Chicks like cars. How ’bout this?”

    -Two minutes later

    Young Jack had not only found out that it was a chick magnet, it was also good to get away from them.
    (Think about it, 20 km/h!)

  59. bookarama

    Weeeeeee! Lookit ME, Mommy! I’m a gweeeeeat big wace car dwiver!!!

  60. abc

    Dude, where’s my car?

  61. Ben Big Boottie Afleck

    Just wait ’till the chicks see me on this, they’l, they’ll, well, they’ll probably still think I’m a dork.

  62. Mike Boomshadow

    Let’s see… slower than a bicycle, only holds one, no protection from rain… or muggers for that matter, range of only eight miles, can’t carry more than a few pounds of gear… wow! It’s like walking, only without the cardio benefits. Why aren’t people lining up?

  63. laughingatyou

    I’m using my segway to escape 427 bad bling mascot bookarama cheaters!
    What a bunch of dorks!

  64. bigfatcrybabyidentifier

    laughingatyou while I’m writing this, “Mommy, Mommy, they’re cheating, I’m taking my ball & going home!!!!

  65. stilllaughingatyou

    Oh look… I made you react, dork! I win.

  66. Sepharo

    “Grandma will be so delighted!”

  67. Turd

    Hey, this guy sure dont update often! HAHAHA!

  68. toad

    The big day has finally arrived for little Timmy Dork. He beams with joy as he sees his “biker bitch” and he’s all set for Sturgis, South Dakota

  69. Resisoblis

    Who knew this is what they meant when they said “Be an Army of one”?


    hey sup girl you got to go to this web sit is is tight i will brling some leighics on thursday


    omg this is funny look at the pic read some info

  72. chunkybunker


  73. d



    I am no longer a slave to my bike.

  75. Mark Beular

    the little fag thought it was cool to see if he could run over old people on his two wheeler

  76. Ozzmann

    Have you seen my baseball?

  77. Gaffer

    I feel pretty
    Oh so pretty
    I feel pretty and witty and gay!

  78. DrewP

    Microsoft, still seething from the anti-trust suits, releases Walking 2.0. The only way to make it go is to swear and repeatedly hit cntl-alt-del.

  79. mrdee

    anyone call a taxi

  80. mrdee

    i am only smiling as the top half is a vibrator

  81. mrdee

    large insurance company replace mans lada

  82. MusWatcher

    Wayne smiles maniacally, as he realizes that both feet have been cut off in the push mower he has just jumped on.

  83. BazzaBarracuda

    …as the poor asshole tries to compensate for being dickless, the funny thing is the girls naturally dodge him, and the gay guys dodge such a smillllllllllllllllllllley face as well!

  84. no name


  85. no name


  86. MeeMah

    I spent how much on something I’m not aloud to use anywhere??

  87. HobbitOfMiddleEarth

    “deurrr.. I’m a smart boy now. Deeurr”

  88. Vera

    today we proudly present our latest model: “blowjobbike”

  89. Atrocity

    I wonder if THIS will get me chicks.

  90. KD

    That is really a horrible pogo stick.

  91. Chris

    “OK, you’re right, here is your money, I DID have so much fun I crapped my pants…”

  92. Mark Beular

    pompis jerk who thinks that he doesn’t have to walk anymore

  93. Impfac

    (man) “Ha, look how cleaver and witty I am! Go ahead and walk, simpletons! With my Segway I can-“

    (bystander) “Hey mister! You’re dorymobile is stuck in a piece of gun.”

  94. Impfac

    And the best part is, he’ll be early for work. Tomorrow.

  95. Paul R.

    Bob’s last words before his tragic fall into an open manhole were, “Damn, girl, that ass is SMOKIN!”

  96. rick12string

    Early photo of John Kerry in Da Nang at the American airbase. Apparently he was stoned and attempting to ride an F-4’s broken nosewheel…..

  97. FunkyNinjaMan

    *#@$k you, you @$#@$$!!ing pigs! You`ll never #@$$@*$**$@ing catch me now!!!

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