This is why soccer will never be viewed as a tough sport in the US.

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122 Captions for “Sissies”

  1. Drake

    Maya the bee in action.

  2. Jann

    Ooh, no…stop it, that’ll sting!

  3. Anonymous

    Whoa Bad Touch!

  4. Anonymous

    “and when we come back, we’ll find out what three out of five American soccer-playing men feel the worst place to get hit in a game is…”

  5. Jimmy the Fish

    The first casting call for Madonna’s soccer video went rather poorly.

  6. The Beaver

    That dog just pissed on the ball…I ain’t gonna kick go kick it first!!

  7. (pdw)

    To toughen the players up, coach Ernie made them watch a live castration

  8. spat

    We all gotta pee and there’s still 42 minutes to play!

  9. ellis doppler

    as the coach yelled “hold the balls”, the communciation problem within the team became obvious

  10. Gaurav Sharma

    Argentinians realise: Size Does Matter.

  11. Weed

    Rosie O’Donnell streaks at the World Cup.

  12. Rhodes

    “Prince Albert” just lifted a cinderblock.

  13. Anonymous

    New study shows that only 3 out of 5 men instinctively protect the “head” they think with. The others believe they can “do without it.”

  14. g

    Goalie (as he runs away): suckers

  15. dd

    Oh man,
    remember when we had to play “nekkid”

  16. Drake

    The coach thought it would stimulate his players, but now it seemed that wearing their women’s undies wasn’t a good idea at all.

  17. FR

    It was the beginning of the end for the boysband ‘The Soccer Lads’, when the tabloids revealed that all members suffered from ball phobia.

  18. Todd Hunt

    That was some header!

  19. massis

    The players all showed their disgust when the stadium speaker yelled out : ‘I need Amanda Hugginkiss’…

  20. Palace

    The players really got frightened when the public kept on yelling: “In their balls! In their balls!”

  21. Anonymous

    Enrique was glad he had undergone the sex operation. He didn’t have to worry about his balls anymore, but he protected carefully his newly grown breasts.

  22. Texas Tommy

    The coach “If we don’t win today I’m going to make you all to to confession.”

  23. Vince

    RED CARD!!! Illegal Penelty KicK…

  24. Anonymous

    Actually Tim a ball is being kicked at about 60 miles an hour towards their genitalia. Making fun of this picture is anti-american! Down with the Taliban!
    Down with TIM!

  25. Alex Kaseberg

    The opposing players were uncomfortable with the Isreali team’s tradition of having an on-the-field bris before the game.

  26. Anonymous

    The Whirled Cup

  27. William

    Damn! These new pants really chafe !

  28. Adam

    Three of these men forgot to wear a cup today. Can you guess who they are?

  29. deej

    I forgot my World Cup

  30. Brian

    “Hey guys, do I have my cup on right?”

  31. eps

    #14: I’m going to puke!!

  32. eps

    Ugly kickers make the wall less efficient

  33. w1ld0n3

    Reactions to Lorena Bobit’s halftime show.

  34. Sandman

    Sister Stonebreaker the head Coach of “The Sisters of Mercy” Parish Soccer Team, showed the young men she still disciplines with a heavy hand.

  35. Anonymous

    And the soccer boys give their rendition of “YMCA”

  36. Anonymous

    Marlon Brando takes off his shirt.

  37. Mike

    N*SYNC is shown practicing new moves they have learned by watching World Cup Soccer for their upcoming tour.

  38. shirley


  39. Anonymous

    Coach, can we use the Nerf ball now?

  40. Larry Dixon

    There’s no such thing as a “free” kick.

  41. Rob

    Hmmm…must have been another one of those sports blooper moments…

  42. caity

    Protecting the family jewels becomes the topmost priority in this soccer game-turned dodge a ball flying 60 miles an hour.

  43. Dayve

    Stop! In the Name of Love, Before You Break My Heart….

  44. puttman50

    Don’t Look! Mia is taking her bra off again

  45. Patrick

    They spotted a priest in the crowd.

  46. dzine

    Today on ESPN 6: Celebrity Soccer–Psychic Friends Network vs Ladies of the WWF.

  47. Yahnee Bahnnannee

    “EEK! A Mouse!”

  48. Anonymous

    American team rection to Home Depot’s sponsorship deal with USA Soccer where Home Depot will supply sandpaper supporters for the team

  49. Tom

    That Michael Jackson dance is harder than it looks.

  50. Mortius

    After catching something nasty from a girl down field once, the team all got a little nervous when she winked at them.

  51. Alex Kaseberg

    In retrospect, the free on-the-field vasectomy promotion was not a good idea.

  52. Anonymous

    This Electric SLide is much more fun than the Macarena

  53. Ariel

    Israeli players watch in horror while the palestinian referee explodes and thereby kills all the other team members.

  54. Lex Mansky

    Immediately after the pre-game benediction, the players were shocked at the public display of affection by Father Lou and the confused Choirboy with the identity crisis.

  55. Mayhem

    The all gay team where a little worried when the naked female ran across the pitch at half time.

  56. zatterat

    Come on coach I really gotta pee.

  57. Anonymous

    “I don’t care if they sponsor the team dammit. We’ve got to switch laundry detergent.”

  58. vikingshadow

    Martha Stewart strips down to her sports bra in celebration of her new JC Penney White sale…

  59. mugwump

    …hey !!…. who let the dogs out ??

  60. mugwump

    …no !! no … try the lamb NOT the ram !!!

  61. dbzwong

    *in gay voices* sthop it! uhh, i donth like thath!

  62. Meg

    no! not the nuts!

  63. drewboy

    Hey Vladamire are you sure this is how the dance goes?

  64. Cybbis

    They’re pretty darn lucky not to be playing against the Swedish national team since then they’d have protect their asses too.

  65. Mr. Ramon

    Members of Team Argentina try to contain their excitement as they watch Britney Spears in her new World Cup Pepsi commercial.

  66. Mr. Ramon

    Under Korean rules, not only does the ref give you a yellow card for an illegal play, but he delivers a swift Judo chop to the genitals of each member of your team.

  67. mjl

    New uses for the World Cup!

  68. Chuckles

    “….and our photographer caught the reaction on the player’s faces as Chelsea Clinton ran out to congratulate the winning team…”

  69. StevieT

    This is no’ah funnee, thesa mensa try to protect their mama’s meata ballahs!

  70. Anonymous

    Protect your balls at all times.

  71. Len Patterson

    A collective reaction after seeing the team Urologist perform an emergency Penalectomy on the team captain!

  72. Square Peg

    Man!! that keeper really needs to cut down on the baked beans.

  73. rhman

    Are you sure this is how Michael Jackson got his start in dancing?

  74. lizzardbreath

    we were on the buss all last night and after siting fo 8 hours straight it just wouldn’t come pout

  75. Molly

    When someone requested “organ music” the Backstreet Boys became confused.

  76. narcosis12

    You think this is bad, wait until they see the AFTER picture

  77. rivercardz

    “Ooooh, I’m just too sexy for this game, too sexy for this sport!”

  78. tack

    Gee…These 10 year old girls kick pretty hard….

  79. Anonymous

    Ricki Lake provides ultimate proof of her much touted weight loss to the boys…

  80. Cat

    New research proves everybody who plays soccer becomes gay.

  81. Anonymous

    why soccer will never be viewed as a tuff sport

  82. Steve 1

    “Fantastic!” screamed the coach, “More expression boys! Ho-o-old it! And now…pirhouette!”


    If major leauge baseball players can do it, so can we!

  84. tafkatadd

    EEEEW!!!! WHAT IS T-H-A-T?!

  85. meir

    Is it football or pinball?

  86. adam & dima

    we all want to piss and 42 minuts still left until the end of the game!!!

  87. Ronen

    Watch out for those balls !

  88. Ronnie

    “Gee… I guess that hooker wasn’t desease-free after all…”

  89. Ronnie

    “Gee… I guess that hooker wasn’t desease-free after all…”

  90. Ronnie

    “Gee… I guess that hooker wasn’t desease-free after all…”

  91. Ed Hades

    Not the balls! Not that balls!…please hit me anywhere, but please god don’t let it be the balls!

  92. jwd

    Argentine players react to Clint Mathis’s new Mohawk.

  93. Breesta

    YE GODS! ITS HIDEOUS. oh that’s not very nice, it’s just a donkey……

  94. NoN07

    Groin Gaurds….Check..

  95. Anonymous

    Soccer : The sport of France.

  96. TheCro

    Monica Lewinsky just subbed in.
    Protect yourselves men!

  97. Anonymous

    someone got kicked in the nuts

  98. tag

    bloody hell that chick has a bread stick in her undies

  99. Quincy J

    What a dumb sport.

  100. MotorCityBlaster

    If these sissys keep acting like this, soccer wil never take off in America.

  101. Kevin

    And the cross-over from Soccer to Gansta-Rap proved to be a bad career move for Juan and his team mates.

  102. Gragra7

    “You do the hokey -‘poke’y and you turn around…”

  103. Rebecca

    You can’t touch this!

  104. Alan Seaton

    Sure coach, your Penile Implant looks terrific. No really, you dont have to pump it up and show us.

  105. Anonymous

    NO! NO! PLEASE! Not the jewels! Just because we lost, don’t take the jewels! PLEASE!!

  106. Big D

    OK stop! we know where babies come from now! just quit it! ahhh quit it

  107. burnt

    Juan always said:
    “Be a man, don’t flinch!”

    ’til he took one in the jewels.

  108. Spaceduck

    The Argies find out why they call David Beckham ‘Golden Balls’

  109. Anonymous


  110. BillyJoeBob

    She moves to the right, the left the right, up the middle, yes, YES, YESSS, GOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!

  111. communist bambi

    they just came out with EXTREME soccer, no cups

  112. Mark Smith

    COACH COACH I think they forgot their cups

  113. Justin

    Guy on the right: Oempphhh!!! Now I squeesed again!!

  114. Jontar

    The Back Street Boys’ retarted cousins.

  115. Jennifer

    And if this were a women’s game, they’d be protecting something else!

  116. Go Go Girl

    Is that a spider?……………….EEEK!

  117. dustin cobwebs

    dont get dirt on me i just washed my shorts ya thilly gooths

  118. Stuart

    Oh boy, this is gonna hurt!

  119. Tramadol

    Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

  120. Tramadol

    Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

  121. Tramadol

    Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

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