Soccer Mania


The soccer submissions keep piling in, so I’ll keep posting ’em.

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84 Captions for “Soccer Mania”

  1. Patrick

    I don’t care if you DO hold your breath I’m not buying you ANOTHER pair of satin shorts! Keep it up and you won’t be getting any Ice Cream either!

  2. Anonymous

    What happened?

  3. Anonymous

    Hey, I can’t help it if you didn’t know I was going to stop.

  4. Anonymous

    Phillipe, where’s the goal?

  5. Buff Mute

    But I thought you said you wanted me to get tickets for;”Devine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood.”

  6. Fine

    Just a red cross and a number.

  7. Anonymous

    I just touched you! How was I supposed to know you were known as the Human Groin?

  8. Kay Kopp

    “Yeah, I really caught a fish this big!”
    “Oh no, not again…”

  9. Anonymous

    “I warned you I had pepper spray. You damn rapist!!!”

  10. ak drumster

    Sorry fella, was actually aiming for your nads.

  11. cybbis

    Like if it’s my fault if I get a better salary than you do. Crybaby.

  12. spat

    White one: “I’ll count till ten and you go hide yourself”.
    Blue one: “But there’s nowhere to hide, this is a footballfield…”

  13. spat

    Resurrection of Christ cause of disbelief (again)

  14. bgray

    Et tu, Brute ?

  15. jwd

    “Sorry Luigi, I didn’t know she was your wife!”

  16. Anna

    Sorry! I only said I didn’t like the blue eye-shadow!

  17. peter mackay

    I told you I could not help running over your dog.!

  18. Anonymous

    After seeing a nude she-male streak cross the field, Luigi tries to gouge his eyes out while Pierre stands, not understanding what the fuss is all about.

  19. Gragra7

    (On ground) “Coming, ready or not” (standing) “But you were supposed to count to ten!”

  20. Yarivon

    whatt???? you got problem with something???

  21. armandbourg

    ‘You shouldn’t have worn number 13,mate!’

  22. smioux

    look, you had your three goes at picking which hand had the money!

  23. SoP

    What? I’m sorry, my pants are back on.
    I saw
    that American girl pull her top off,
    so I thought
    “What the hell?”

  24. Mayhem

    I didn’t know she was your mom, I’m sorry dude.

  25. Kate

    Is it nap time already?

  26. Oetjepoe

    “Knocked down by a huge hailstone? It isn’t even raining, idiot!”

  27. Les

    I didn’t know my cologne was THAT powerful!

  28. Drake

    Man on the ground: “Are you talking to me? … Hey, are you talking to me?”

  29. Kereltje

    “Damn, you broke my nose!”

    “I’m sorry, I was heading for your eyeball!”

  30. K.S.

    It’s all fun and games until someone gets an eye poked out.

  31. patrick2

    “I told you not to suck my dick again”
    “So sorry man I thought it was your tits

  32. Steve 1

    “But look man, the guy said turn right at Peking! We can always watch it on the telly, anyway.”

  33. Dianne

    I warned you not to join that team, but would you listen….no! Now you’ll wear the pale blue shorts and like it…so get up and play!

  34. Anonymous

    look, i’m sorry if my semen was in your beer

  35. Pop

    Oh stop it! I wore a condom.

  36. Neocarter


  37. M. Knight

    There’s no crying in base- Oh, wait! I forgot this is soccer, there *is* crying.

  38. Kira

    White jersey: I cant believe you slept with the goalie, yeah he gets to handle more balls than me but still…
    Green jersy: So your saying only you can handle my balls…what am i a one women show

  39. aviad

    So what, you think I’m funny? You think I’m funny? That’s it! (two minutes later) What?

  40. Adam

    I never experienced that position, What do I do now?

  41. Lamar

    that’s what you get for talking sh** across the field bi***

  42. Lamar

    I’m sorry dude some one must have moved the ball

  43. Lamar

    whatever happen in the hotel room last night is between me and you

  44. Lamar

    not right now especially whille every ones watching

  45. vivo

    Hey Man…. that number is unlucky is’nt it…

  46. Dan

    Don’t worry man, Britney Spears will be back in town another time!

  47. Brie

    Shit happens.

  48. Alan Seaton

    I told you mascara runs when you sweat

  49. Nese

    what is it with u?

  50. Nese

    i’m going to hump u soon

  51. Elli

    It’s not delivery, it’s Dejourno!

  52. Philip

    How was I supposed to know you weren’t gay?

  53. Anonymous

    “well, i’m sorry! i got something in my eye and if you squint a little your head does look like a soccer ball.”

  54. Anonymous

    what’s wrong with my outfit? i liked the red socks, personally.

  55. Dan

    I sorry- I kicka youface! Eh?

  56. Jiggy

    You know what i had it with you! Maybe it did before, but crying like a baby won’t make me get on top of you anymore. I give give and give and what do i get in return? A baby!!

  57. wuj

    “Hey, whats wrong? its just a fat gay streaker. Actually, im sort of enjoying it.”

  58. Tony Chiodo

    So what if we’re all gay?

  59. baby bear

    What’d I do? he stole the ball. i wasn’t going to let him get away with it.

  60. bogusloser

    I’m not looking for anything serious….just drinks, some dinner, maybe some dancing…

  61. PixelGod

    Jan Zeller (On Ground), astonished that the fan in the crowd without a shirt was his mother.
    Jonathan Styles (Standing), trying to compensate by explaining that she looked better with all of it off.

  62. phscko

    not my fault you’re a pussy!

  63. Alex L.

    look guys he’s faking it im not kidding.

  64. babylon

    hey man, what did you expect? I told you that it was really a dood…didnt I?

  65. Chris Walters

    I don’t care if she did take her shirt off, I am still not flashing you!

  66. travis weir

    look mate, mate i dont know what you r problem is, i said i was sorry i didnt pay for the pizza you just brought me,sorry mate dont cry.

  67. Anonymous

    im sorry,im not gay anymore.

  68. Darkman

    Honestly! I don’t know who kicked you in the face!

  69. Cdhassing

    It’s only funny until someone gets hurt, then, its HILLARIOUS!!!!!!

  70. Crunchy

    You’ve been playing soccer for 15 years and you only now figure out that it’s less exciting than shuffleboard? Is this your mid-life crisis? Snap out of it, man! Go buy a car or something.

  71. Cary Kingdom

    I can’t believe I just looked up his shorts!

  72. lawrence

    Look…its only a number….13 isnt so bad….why you being such a baby about it?

  73. Dreampool

    Hey, c’mon… my elbow is NOT that hard…

  74. Anonymous

    sac up bitch

  75. Derm

    Using a new technique, the Green team was able to win. Their secret? Eat tons of taco bell before agmes, and let loose on the field.

  76. Matt

    Oh come on, it wasn’t THAT bad…

  77. Mark Smith

    I am sorry man i will not blow on mr johnson and make it all better

  78. Slick

    How was I to know she was your sister?

  79. CHAOS

    im sorry but i hav to brake up with you…its not you its me, please dont make this harder than it already is

  80. dustin cobwebs

    surely your not accusing a mexican of cheating!

  81. Erez

    “I Can’t believe it! Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s father??”

  82. Islam

    vat is wrong Toni?
    I told you the pizza will be ready soon!

  83. Jeremey kyle

    Hey i’m so sorry, your hair-do made me think you had breasts

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