Swollen Lip

98

My grandma’ says if you stick you lip out a bird will poop on it.

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59 Captions for “Swollen Lip”

  1. aimitatme

    They just don’t listen anymore!!

  2. Anonymous

    Wally sees a beautiful woman on the tribune and tries his most tempting face

  3. Anonymous

    Oh damn! Here comes that bear that was in the men’s room.

  4. Reut

    You know what? I think i’ll get laid tommorow again! I rock..

  5. Anonymous

    What is my favorite ice-cream flavor? Mmmmmmmm, let me think…

  6. huh?

    (Labyrinth movie reference)
    Won’t Work- Can’t hear you.

  7. jwd

    I realllly gotta go, but there’s a bear in the men’s room!

  8. Anonymous

    Ew. Whoever used the microphone before me needs breath mints.

  9. nurg

    I shoulda used Preparation H!

  10. tatroyer

    When it was Franks turn to speak, he was disappointed to find out there was no one hiding under the podium.

  11. Ron

    Stop calling me a sissy or I’ll tell my mommy on you!!

  12. Anonymous

    Sperm donor, asked why he described himself in the Donor Book as “a young Master of Science, a tennis champion and Brad Pitt look-alike”.

  13. onebad427

    “…and then I said,…If you guys don’t play fair, I’m goin’ to take my ball & go home!”

  14. Les

    He is the main reason you shouldn’t date over the internet!

  15. Mr. Ramon

    Hmmmm, come to think of it, I DO have the world’s smallest penis.

  16. Anonymous

    Alfred came little short to win the Prins Charles look-alike contest.

  17. Kereltje

    “At least I have a nice hairdo.”

  18. Sarah

    *Sniffs* hmm, I think those stadium hot dogs did something to my digestive track…

  19. Creepy

    I’m a real man! I’m not gonna cry!…. *sniff*

  20. Creepy

    He’s got the look!!!

  21. Neil

    Mmmmm….minty fresh….

  22. w. lowe

    say … this new vibrating alert feels gooooooood.

  23. Anonymous

    Is it a rug? I don’t know. You decide.

  24. Waaaaaassup?

    Jimmy dind’t know a thing about the fraude scandal. He just sat there because he lost drawing straws.

  25. dumbass

    I’m a moron. Let me just put up an old quote or steal someone’s quote. Maybe they won’t notice.

  26. Anonymous

    hmmmm…after smending that night in jail…….the taste is still there…..

  27. Pop

    In the middle of the press conference Bob flashes back to his encounter this morning with Carla, the maid in the hotel room. Man, she could suck a golf ball thru a garden hose!

  28. Tyler Smith

    Hold the lighter closer this time Tommy, this one’s gonna be a ripper…

  29. Anonymous

    Whoops!

  30. dumbass's grammar corrector

    I’m a moron. Let me just put up an old quote or steal someone’s quote. Maybe **they** HE won’t
    notice.

  31. spacetruckennam

    hmmmm juicy wonder if anyone smells it yet

  32. Anonymous

    AFTER YEARS OF ISOLATION, PEE WEE TELLS HIS SAD SAD STORY

  33. Crunchy

    …and for my next impersonation: James B. Sikking!

  34. fishamaphone

    As the press confrence began, Sam was about to start talking, then he saw the guys who were trying to get him back into the insane asylum…

  35. O_o

    The next Zoolander.

  36. Mayhem

    When she asked me if her pussy was to big, I put on my best poker face and said, “Hmm, no, of course not”.

  37. Anonymous

    8(

  38. DANIEL

    That’s when it dawned on Walter: he hadn’t a clue on why he was up at the podium.

  39. Anonymous

    Must….Reach…Nose….

  40. Datz It

    Hmm, I think im gonna put a balaclava over my head, get naked, roll around in mud, and do the hokey pokey in the middle of the freeway today

  41. Datz It

    How did I win my gold medal???
    Well it was the final…the greatest challenge ever in my life, we were equal until the end when I stared him down.

  42. lawrence

    its not that I am trying to evade the question mr. senator…..I’m just trying to smell the lump in my pants and see if it was last nights dinner or this mornings breakfast…

  43. Pokejedservo

    Kevin Spacey is reduced to this after “Pay it Forward”, sad isn’t it?

  44. alan

    mmm………polyester isth crunchy

  45. Steven Chapman

    Vladimir Putin recalls his night on the tiles with Hilary Clinton.

  46. Mike

    “Don’t look under the table. She’s not finished yet”

  47. jim

    I don’t care what you guys say, I am good looking.

  48. David

    somebody open the windows – FIRE IN THE HOLE!

  49. Mark Beular

    he was having trouble remembering what he had for breakfast then he remembered it was a cheerleader

  50. Derm

    In an effort to appeal to the African Crowd at the Olympics, this broadcaster puffed his lips out to impersonate Patrick Ewing’s monstrous lips.

  51. Matt

    Holding in a fart makes me do weird facial expressions.

  52. Sam

    As Fred gazed 20 minutes into the future, he saw himself naked, in a dark room with the ominous glow of a single red candle, polishing a turd.

  53. KDANTEATER

    This is the best nudist convention EVER!

  54. MeeMah

    Is this another guy from ENRON?

  55. Atrocity

    “I don’t know Johnny, he’s had this expression for the last hour.”

  56. Robbie

    Will you stop asking me questions?
    PLLLLEAAAZZZEEE?????

  57. Peachy

    hmmmm i have nothing intresting to say so hmmmm

  58. paul

    THAT’S a dificult question guys! (I can’t say you anything…my wife is watching….)

  59. Sven

    There’s a rocket in my pocket

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